self control

i seriously have so many topics going through my mind right now, that i decided to write about none of them and instead turn to something that i have been lacking lately.

&& that is self control.

self-control is a vital part of who we are. Thoughts are our foundation because they direct our feelings. People with high self control don’t react to someone else’s emotions. They are able to think clearly and stay focused under pressure. No one can control the events or the people surrounding them, but they can control their own emotions and actions. I personally like to think i maintain self control in thee situations, but when i am alone i tend to slip.

[ x ] one thing i do to exercise my self control is choosing what i think about. when i feel i am able to control what feelings my thoughts are producing, i feel as if i am able to dictate what i will do or will not do, which in return leads me to be careful on what i dwell on. I started with meditation - this helped my anxiety tremendously.

[ x ]  i try not to let my feelings get the best of me. if, for instance, i know i am upset with someone or i am craving something i know i should not consume or have, i do something to get my mind off the situation; listen to music, write on this blog, scrapbook, write letters to my lil sister, exercise, or read to name a few. And if i still find myself dwelling on those things, i just simply pick up on another activity again.. and yes, this may take me doing this same activity several times before i am able to conquer your feelings but i eventually am able to do it.)

[ x ] this one may seem a bit obvious and silly, but really taking deep breaths is very VERY helpful. it seems to just calm me down, and also takes my mind off of it for a while. this is most helpful when i feel like i am losing my mind!

these basic little things are what i do to give myself a bit more control, and this is where perseverance comes it. it won’t be better the first time you try to have control but like everything else you will be able to control yourself better and faster with practice.

the reason why i wanted to make a blog out of this is because i'd like to point out that i don't think self control is only about keeping your cool when you are angry. its concept is more than that, it can also be about not complaining about a situation or someone, or even waiting to get something you really want now, or even choosing not to eat that extra cookie. these situations can affect our every day lives, and that is why i believe it is important to instill self control into ourselves so our younger generations can fall onto it as well. maybe by doing this we will have less anger impulse shootings and murders going on.

a quote by Aristotle was said to me by my sophomore year English teacher that has stuck with me ever since.. it's “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.”

the greatest victories we can have in our life is over ourselves. Self-control might be hard, but it is possible. encourage yourself and others to maintain control over themselves.

dealing with resentful bitches.

i've dealt with the most turmoil last year. i don't know how the people i've considered my heart can be so judgmental, deceitful, and most of all resentful. i wanted to dig into resentment because i think it can come from all different types of people you associate yourself with -- not just family but coworkers, friends, or even neighbors.. even people you only considered acquaintances. however first, i think in order to learn how to deal with all of this, one must truly have a good understanding of what resentment is, its causes and the thoughts that linger in the resentful person’s mind.

i think resentful people have this constant belief that someone or something has harmed his or her well being on intention, and therefore has to be a spiteful bitch in return in order to feel even and/or happy. Personally, i think resentful bitches are usually an indication of weakness as the resentful person is someone who has failed to defend herself or has failed to stop others from harming her and therefore have no better way than becoming resentful towards them... assuming this is the way to go.

in order for these people not to hurt their egos, to admit failure or to carry responsibility lots of people decide to become resentful in order to throw the blame of all the bad things that happened to them on someone else. Because , ya know, after all is said and done, its hurts wayy less to say "life is unfair or evil" than to say I should have worked harder or i am a lazy fat slob.

oh and, keep in mind i am talking about resentful haters who you have NOT hurt intentionally but they think you have.. if you are dealing with a resentful person who you have intentionally screwed, then you can deal with that your own way on your own, sorry but karma is a bitch.

but i think that in many cases a person can incorrectly perceive some facts and become resentful without even making sure of the information he or she has in the least bit factual.

when it comes to preventing resentment, your role should really be on making sure that you don’t let the other people get you wrong, after all good communication skills is about not being misunderstood as much as you can even if you are doing nothing wrong.

but in my case, a lot of the resentment stems from jealousy. i truly believe underlying resentment can be feelings of jealousy from one person to another. for instance, having a girl believe that your success has proved them to be failures (how can someone's success bring pain?) or how she believes you may be in possession of things like a job that you don't deserve or that she should have..

communication is the number one way to combat these type of females.

you have to be able to give an explanation of your actions as much as you can if your actions will affect them directly.. whether you realize it initially or not. the way i prevent resentment is all about being clear so that you don’t get misunderstood. when the resentment comes to a point that i am not sure why or have not done anything intentionally, that's when you really have to sit that person down and just c.o.m.m.u.n.i.c.a.t.e !!!!!!!

people annoy me

May I rant?

Thanks!

I'm DONE with dumb, self-absorbed, selfish, stupid, mind draining, so-called 'friends', relatives, neighbors, etc. To them, THEIR life is the only life, THEIR illness is the only illness, THEIR child is the only child. Nobody in creation has ever been ripped off like them, back stabbed like them, hurt like them, pained like them, had a rotten childhood like them, had worse parents than them, had no parents like them, had a unique illness like them, had a holiday like theirs, had a life learning experience like them, had a bad boss like them - in fact, NOBODY has lived before in the whole of human history EXCEPT them. You get migraines - oh nothing like THEIR migraines, you have a problem - oh THEY had that happen but worse. I want to know something. How come they even know that anything was worse, better, more or ANYTHING at all when they are completely incapable of listening to anybody else for more than 5 secs. Their problems, their woes, THEIR fcken life story.

I can't stand two-faced people. I can't stand people who back stab. I can't stand people who lie. I can't stand people who have no spine. I can't stand people who only exist to make others feel less than. I can't stand people who compete for no good reason. I can't stand pretentious morons who have nothing to be pretentious about. I can't stand people who think they have all the answers after their life has proven to be a bleeding mess. I can't stand people who don't stand up for themselves. I can't stand people who ostracize those who do. I can't stand people who shrug at others' discomfort. I can't stand people who are hypocrites. I can't stand people who are selfish and self-centered. I can't stand people who never admit when they are wrong. I can't stand people who wreak havoc in others' lives and then distance themselves from the spoilage. I can't stand people who never understand anything you say to them, no matter how bluntly you make your statement. I can't stand people who behave as though you just killed ten grandmothers because you said a curse word, especially when they know it was deserved. I can't stand judgmental idiots. I can't stand people who only see the bottom line. I can't stand people who don't see the bigger picture. I can't stand people who are ignorant and want to be. I can't stand people who never heard of standing by a person, right or wrong, unless of course, they've raped or killed someone.

I am angry that so many assholes get away with so much evil bullshit in this stupid world of ours. Why do things have to be this way? Can't we just build a big catapult and toss all the assholes out into space? Right into the sun so they can burn into ashes. That would make me feel a lot better, for sure. Of course, yeah, I know, some asshole out there is going to say, how do you define who's an asshole and who's not? well, for one thing, i have my own personal shit-list, and you'll just have to trust me, it's 100% accurate about all the people on it being assholes. But, okay, say that's not quite good enough for you (what are you, some kind of asshole or something?). say you want to at least test people before sticking them on the catapult, to make absolutely sure they're assholes. Fortunately, nothing could be easier. Here's the simple answer:

a: if someone is a pathological liar, that's a prime symptom of assholeness.

b: if someone treats you like absolute shit absolutely all the time, that's them being an asshole.

c: if someone treats you nice all the time, but then goes and says something mean about you to someone else, then they belong on the honor roll in the hall of shame for worthless assholes.

d: just about anybody who works for a telemarketing firm is a stinky, hairy, shit-ringed asshole.

i can go on &&& on but i don't want to overload the catapult. :)

&& lastly, what i really cannot stand are fake friends. friends tell you they're there for you, but when you try to vent, they get pissed off at you and turn it around so you end up comforting them. THANK GOODNESS FOR THIS BLOG. lol I am annoyed by friends that say they will never judge you, but when shit hits the fans they talk so much shit about how fucked up you are. well news flash sweetie-- we're allllllll fucked up one way or another. && what i hate is when people assume shit and start talking shit when they have no validity to their statements at all whatsoever.

with all this hate, i still manage to have a heart of gold & wear a smile at all times.

especially now that my venting is over ;D Thanks guys!

a day in my life : )

Just a few things about me ....


A: WRITER. I am currently working on 2 different publishing writing endeavors, one of them being  about a teenager going through relationship problems and suffering an abusive relationship while in and out of youth homes while the other is a sort of "guide-to surviving the female teenage years." It's humorous, and involves ideas on getting past peer pressure, sex, drugs & alcohol, finding your clique or friends, and most importantly.. finding yourself. I obviously have a blog site that I constantly keep up with. I am always reading blogs too.

C: READER. i read. A LOT. i have a plethora of books i have yet to read alongside a big pile i have read at least five times each because I read almost every night before I go to sleep. i also think 95% of America should do the same considering half the world does not know the difference between "their, they're, and there." if i come across a word I don’t understand, I write it down in a notebook and look up the definition later. i am trying to teach myself to become fluent in Spanish too.




D: CREATOR i am getting more and more in touch with my creative side. I am constantly dreaming up new ways to create and use my imagination to the best of it’s ability, because to not would be a waste. my mother in law is a big help, and gives me lots of ideas. i recently started making my own holiday cards that i write and send out to family & friends, and i send one letter a week to my baby sister who is just starting to learn to read. i also am starting to make my own jewelry. i'll take pictures of what i have done so far, and maybe even create a tutorial on some things as there isn't much to it when you put your mind to it ;)


E: FITNESS I walk daily. i don't jog as much as i would like to. i recently found a gorgeous path through the woods behind my house that has recently been worked on-- a park was built and i have been rollerblading on it every afternoon. Flirty girl fitness is something i have been really getting into as well. It is hard to find motivation when by yourself, so becoming part of a program was huge for me.

F: CLEANER/ ORGANIZER this actually should say obsessive compulsive disorder haha (OCD) which really should be CDO, since that's the correct order the letters come in on the alphabet, but whatevs. i have this uncontrollable desire and need to clean and organize anything i see that needs cleaning or reorganizing. i clean out my huge walk-in closet and dressers every 6 months and drop off unwanted clothes to the salvation army. 

H: FRIEND. i am a damn good friend to have. when you need some one to listen to you, to not say a word, to not judge, and most of all to BE THERE regardless of what ever may be going on-- i will be there. even if you haven't gotten a chance to contact me in a year, if you call me up and need me to be there for you, i will drop everything and come. it all comes to support. whenever a festival, concert, show, etc arrives, and i personally know who is hosting it, i make it a priority to support my friends and show up for the entire duration of each because it makes me feel good to be there for them when they need it and want it.. not to mention i sincerely find true entertainment in it.

thank you very much *in my best borat voice*

break up schmake up.. it aint no thang

I swear whoever wrote the lyrics to "breaking up is hard to do" was right on the money. unfortunately the odds are not in us ladies' favors when it comes to this traumatic experience, lol. in fact, most of us will experience at least one heart breaking break up sometime in our lines, and 1 out of every 3 females experience one that leads them to having mental issues that can severely affect her life. although no one can fully prepare you for and there are a few breakup words that will ease your pain, i can at least try to.. lol i'll always still believe advice goes a long way.

So listen up biiiiiits!!! here is how you can be closer to healing your broken heart.

Here are my stages of grief that i think girls will most likely experience throughout a break up.. the five stages of grief as they apply to a breakup that is:

denial: && "no it's not just a river in Egypt". you deny the break-up has happened and isolate yourself from your loved ones. to help get through this stage, accept what has happened and don’t be afraid to ask for support from those who love you and are there for you.. i know you might not want to hear it but face the fucken truth && do it. without doing this first step, you will not make it to the second. you might tell yourself this is just a temporary separation; you’re bound to kiss and make up.

resisting the urge: i knowwww it’s difficult to fight the urge to get in touch with your ex, but you have to resist it. && yes, this means no making up excuses to see him (I have to get back my one sock back...) etc. been there done that .. and the visits only lead to hot, amazing sex that gives him the upper hand yet again. You have to say NO.

anger: it's only natural to become angry with your ex and maybe even with yourself for the cause or circumstances of the breakup. personally, what i did to help deal with my anger was wrote a letter addressed to my ex, without the intention of giving it to him of course, cus i'd probably hit a nerve no girl wants to hit. It is amazing how you can really get down and dirty with your feelings, and how you end up pouring your heart out once the point of your pen leaks onto the paper. After you’re done, put it aside and come back to it another day, reread it once, then toss it if you want. i actually saved all of mine, mainly because i didn't really write them when we broke up because we only have once, but more so when we got into an argument or at a time i felt incredibly hurt by him.. i go back to them after a while and it's weird how i have a totally new perspective on things. this eventually lead to me keeping a journal of my feelings. Looking back on the things I wrote reminded me of our low points. I needed that reminder to get away from him, and stay.

Ladies, this method works best for me because i think writing can be incredibly therapeutic. i know most not feel this way, but obviously with my having my own blog site, i'm going to feel taht way.

bargaining: this is probably the most common thing females tend to do.. i can almost guarantee it, don't deny it. you bargain with your ex to take you back, telling him that you were wrong, what changes you’ll make, and so on. Or, you get others involved in trying to get him back for you. This stage often involves irrational actions such as calling him no matter how trivial the reason. don't fall lame to the game baby girls! you have to be on top of it, have HIM come crawling back to you!

acceptance: this is about the final stage of grief i think we all endure. the female typically comes to terms with the breakup, and she no longer feels anger or deep sadness about it. While thinking about your ex is still normal, you’re able to move on with your life to be productive and emotionally healthy again. Some females have a hard time coming to this stage, I think it takes an incredible amount of strength and dignity to even follow through with passing this stage. With acceptance comes the ability to move on.



But you shouldn’t expect all of the above to happen overnight. It will take time, faith in yourself and a supportive group of friends and family to get you through.

the most important thing i can say ladies is back away from zeee ex!!! real talk! i know you're in the bargaining stage of grieving the demise of a what seemed to be an amazing relationship, so you may try to get in touch with him. But, there are two reasons why calling, emailing or visiting his crib is a BAD idea. why? just because you convince yourself your ex is thinking about you just as much as you're thinking about him. he's not. but the next reason is the more contact you have with him, the less likely you’ll be able to move on. Every time you write to him, talk to him or visit his house, you’re taking a step backward instead of forward. not only that but it makes you look completely desperate and gives him the upper hand.

i seriously only think of these two specific quotes when i think of getting over a break up and/or when healing a broken heart: “Time heals all wounds” and “Where one door closes, another one opens.” i know, kind of cheesy but absolutely true . while you may not be able to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel now, ii can guarantee that the day will come when you’ll know that your broken heart has officially healed.





good luck girls

Drug Store Everyday Item Haul xx

 Hello beauty queens !!!  I wanted to share a quick haul of quick, affordable, personal items you can get at your local drugstore. Check them out below !!

I have been having a very hard time finding a good, thick, winter cover up that is not going to make me look pasty or gross.I bought the Just Face It by Hard Candy because I have used theGlamoflauge heavy duty concealer and fell in love with that product.  Only thing I liked about this product is that it provided great coverage. However, the strangest thing is these little flakes of what looks to be plastic were all over my face after application.  It doesn't make my skin break out, but it does last all day. this foundation does NOT work well with contouring/blending.  Any blending at all, it also dries really quickly. I used the medium (363) shade.

I tried the Revlon Photo Ready Airbrush Foundation, and was not happy with it at all. I knew it was going to be a light consistency -- just not THAT light. I felt like I got barely any coverage. It's greasy, dispenses only huge amounts at a time, doesnt stay on, and again, the coverage is poor!  

I will NOT be repurchasing this product.

The Loreal True Match Natural Powder is one of my all time favorite holy grail products in which i have reviewed before. nothing bad to say about that product other than I wish the brush was softer :)

my shade is natural beige 

Wal-Mart panties are actually some of my favorite panties to wear. LOL It is hard to believe, but they fit nicely, last a long time, and some can be very sexy and sultry ;) They are only like $2.99 each so I always buy 5-10 pairs at a time. I bought 7 pairs above, along with No Nonsense 6 pack of white and black socks.

Two new mascaras

One is the Loreal Telescopic which is a very comb like brush to add length to your lashes.  This mascara barely clumps, the brush is  ideal for lengthening. One thing I would note is that if you were looking for a lot of volume in your lashes, this mascara won't give you volume. That is why I also use ....

The other Maybelline falsies mascar! THIS mascara is the volume queen bee. LOL it applies evenly, does not clump, and is a perfect combo with the lorel telescopic. Only negative about both is that it is very hard to remove them at night time. 

Three new lip glosses!!

Rimmel London Show Off Lacquer -- Shade: Light Year. this gloss is super pigmented, very glossy, and i found myself wiping the outside of my lips every five minutes because it just did NOT want to stay ON my lips. Perhaps it would work better going over a lipstick so it has something to latch onto. Besides that, the color is gorgeous!

Lip infallible and Loreal Truffle are two simple glosses I use for every day events.

Two new lipsticks !! 

Maybelline Super Stay 14hr matte lipstick in Beige Foregood -- this is one of my holy grail products. Be sure to exfoliate your lips prior to any matte lip products as if not, your lips will look gross. I love the conveniant little container, they have great color selection-- long lasting, and very true to color. Only con would be some of the colors I like have shimmer in them and others do not. I wish they had it all universally the same with or without shimmer, as I dont like the shimmer part. Drying Shimmer doesnt feel right.


Revlon Color Burst Lip in Creme Brulee -- LOVE this lipstick. it is a nude & cafe mocha mixed in one topped with shimmer. you get a decent color pay off and it does moisturize. But I have very dry lips from having bad allergies, therefore this product will emphasis them when worn alone. I tried applying a clear balm prior to application, and loved it.


Aveeno Positively Ageless Skin Strengthening Lotion

I was literally out of travel size hand lotion, and quickly scanned the lotion isle for a miniature aveeno lotion. i almost never go wrong with any aveeno products. and this product was no different.

i generally use it after i wash my hands, as i do 1000x a day, and some times feel i do not need to reapply after a hand wash just with how moisturized my skin feels.

it smells great, very soft and moisturizing. the littlest bit spreads very evenly and covers greatly. it is not the least bit greasy. i absolutely love aveeno lotions <3

Here is a really cool picture of the sky as I was walking out of the drug store, doesn't it look pretty cool? I love the sky-- and since I am out far west of the city the majority of the time, I see the sky so much clearer as opposed to seeing it with all the city's pollution blocking its beauty. Ahh.. soothing :)

new years eve dresses xx

NEW YEARS!

woo! who is as excited to get the hell away from 2013 as i am ?? i was recently invited to this huge N.Y.E party at the Hilton downtown, and after going through my wardrobe, i just said "forget it-- great glam it is"

www.GreatGlam.com is a website with the most gorgeous dresses, shoes, any thing glam for the very cheap! i have known about it for quite a while. all the dresses i am listing below were between $25-30 each. now remember i was opting for a more calm, but sexy look. I didn't want extreme patterns, or bright bright colors because it is a New Years eve party. 

This is an all black jumpsuit that i know is kind of 'out there' if you knew any thing about my style. lol i am considering it for its warmth, as well as to play it up with accessories. red close toed pumps and a red lipstick <3

I see this type of style on Kim Kardashion a lot. She does the whole waist accentuated bit. i want it because i have a very round bottom half, and think this dress would make that look a bit more ... tight?

Unlike the model, I was thinking a tight pony tail with a bump-it oomph, long dangling sparkly earrings with black pumps.

Unlike the model, my chest is very far from bulging out. i think because of that fact this dress would look sooo much more fabulous on me. I have black pumps with leopard print on the bottom sole that would go perfectly with this. Black dangling earrings and bangles, no necklace.

Again, minimal chest thing works to my advantage with these types of dresses. i really like being able to breath but yet keeping my curves in check lol This isn't one of my favorites, but definitely a consideration because i have metallic bangles that would match nicely with the metallic stripes on the top.

This is one of my favorites. I just love the sleeves. Hair straight down, a minimal necklace and my sparkly pumps. they kind of have a gold tint to them though so i may just decide to do the black pumps.













Okay I think I narrowed it down enough. Can my beautiful followers help me out by picking your favorite one ??

Help me out mamasitas!!

xox rica