Friday, February 10, 2017

Valentine's Day < 3

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Image result for valentines day

I personally do not have a personal vendetta against Valentine's day; but a lot of my friends do. I do not understand it! I have my personal beliefs as to why they do, and wanted to address them in this post. Of course you cant have wild accusations without hardcore rebuttals, so please read on. Tell me your thoughts!

"It's a Hallmark Holiday"
Hallmark is a corporation; therefore people are indirectly supporting an evil empire by taking part. How ridiculous? Unless you ban all gas stations, walmart, and Facebook -- then you have no room to hate on Hallmark! Seriously though - pretty silly.

 "people should love each other EVERY day"
This is true. However why do we celebrate anniversaries? Shouldn't we appreciate and be cognizant of how long we have been together EVERY day? How about Birthdays? Why celebrate getting OLDER? We know this EVERY day. See the ridiculous logic there? Valentine's day offers a day to people where they can remind their loved ones their appreciation and love they have for them that is usually scoffed at throughout the year. It puts it all into perspective, doesn't it? Not to mention why is it so bad to buy a card, chocolates, flowers, or any thing else for someone? It puts a smile on that person's face, and that is all that matters! So this is not a good excuse.

"all the restaurants/bars are too crowded to go out"
Who said you have to go out? If you are not one for the crowds, then how about a nice cozy dinner at home? How about the person who cooks the most gets the night off, and is the one coming home to a home cooked meal instead? What about spending some $$ and renting a closed off room? How about celebrating it the day before or after? Again, this is no excuse.

"I just hate Valentine's day!"
That's your choice. But Valentine's day and I still love you!

Those are the main 1-liners I hear all day this time of year. It is so silly. What did this holiday do to you? Stop being bitter about being single, or in a shitty relationship, and just go to feeling indifferent about it. If you cannot be happy for others, then you are a miserable soul who doesn't deserve roses and chocolate any way :)

Lastly, I want to mention how important I think this can be for the children in our world. We do not necessarily have to use the word LOVE, but rather care for .. meaning a day to emphasize how important it is to treat someone with kindness by doing something thoughtful for that person. This can be a day to really get the creative imaginations working, and put confidence into kids when they know some one cares for them.

Meh.. maybe it is just me. But I really enjoy Valentine's day.. and look forward to it every year <3 Related image

Thursday, February 02, 2017



think back to a past love that didn't end so well. We all have that one don't we? do you remember your emotions throughout that relationship ?? remember that love? that love that made you so vulnerable; that love that opened your chest and your heart just so someone can get inside you and mess you up; so you then build up all these defenses. You build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you.

Or so you think.

But then that one person wanders into your life and you give them a piece of you. they didn't ask for it, and you'd never offer it but they sort of just magnetized themselves to you. they did something to you one day and that just let you know your life will never be the same.

this was jeff and I. it was so weird, and we both tried to deny it but both couldn't. love wasn't always fuzzy bunnies and smiles. love was the enemy sometimes. it takes hostages. it gets inside you, and it eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness. so a simple phrase like "i don't need this.." turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart, just tearing at your heart valves. not just in the mind.. but in the soul. it's a "real gets inside you and rips you apart" pain that they have yet found an anecdote to.

some times i can honestly say i hate love... but i can't stop myself from denying my love for him. what will it take to get it through my head that this can really end up badly?  i guess i can say i am addicted to the pain. addicted to the excitement. addicted to the unknown. addicted to not knowing what the fuck, when the fuck where the fuck or how the fuck things will end up.. and i guess that and that alone is what keeps me hooked.

It's times like these that make me wonder if love is real. is there really an emotion that can last forever, through the ups and downs of a relationship, through thick and thin? or is "love" something we just make up in our heads to satisfy our emotion we feel at the time? Or maybe we use the word "love" as a safety blanket. love is for sure a frightening journey but it is also a wondrous one too and it is important to note that you get out of something what you put into it. so when love comes around, you should def not think of it as so scary, but more enticing, and definitely worth your while.

just as life, love isn't fair either. after a month or so of getting serious with Jeff, I realized how selfish I was being towards him. He isnt the one who hurt me, who destroyed my entire being yet I was keeping him at arm's length as if he was. Just waiting for me to tell myself "i told you so" He was so patient and so kind, and so understanding. The countless kind gestures made it all clear to me I really can make something work with him.

i am now willing to do anything in the world for him as long as it's good for his well being. im always there by his side, helping him through everything.

You may ask if it is really worth it? Worth possibly losing your individuality for this person? Worth losing the freedom of doing what you want when you want? No one will ever know what you have for another person. It's hard to understand but all I can recommend if you TRUST YOUR GUT FEELINGS. Something is telling you this for a reason.