Friday, December 09, 2016

Be their voice; Child Abuse Awareness Month

One Person Can Make A DIFFERENCE.

i have always been active in spreading child abuse awareness. I have always considered it the absolute least any of us can do. I wanted to re-post this post, as I want to keep it at the forefront of all our minds especially during this holidays season of hope and faith. I want to inform you all on my take, my experience, how you can help, excruciating statistics, and some graphic images.

Warning: 100% chance this post will have you in tears. I am sorry to put a damper on things but talking about it is one way of combating it.
Image result for illinois child abuse awareness

Children are innocent and precious, they are also small and defenseless. Adults have the responsibility to protect them, it is just a given responsibility you cannot say no to. But what happens when the adults in a child's life do not live up to their role? If the child is being abused or neglected, the consequences of not speaking up are extremely harmful, sometimes fatal. How can one live with that possibility on their mind?

Children are our future. Every single child deserves a good start in life. Prevention is a shared responsibility. All it takes is one more person to care, and all it takes for families to remain healthy is for people to take that ONE step! Ordinary people like YOU can change the world- because EVERY CHILD MATTERS. Being a parent is the toughest job on the planet; so try to offer your support to people who are raising children... when you see a stranger having a hard time with their child, do not look away-- smile and say, "I have been there too, it only gets easier." Because IT DOES!! Our communities are the web binding the families together, and to each other. Small steps can make a HUGE difference!

Adults need to speak up when witnessing or suspecting abuse is going on in the home of a child. Because children aren't going to do it themselves. Out of fear or misplaced loyalty to their abuser, a child often won't speak up at all- even when they're going through the most horrible pain imaginable.... why? well, they often don't speak up because they are afraid of losing the love of their abuser or the possibility of bringing more pain onto themselves.

there are many children who do try to 'run away' or get out, but are unsuccessful and only get themselves into even more pain to come...this ultimately leads them to not seeing a point in trying at all.

Of the numerous child abuse cases, about 72% involve *someone* who knew what was happening. In some of these cases, you will hear adults say "I didn't realize how bad it was" or even, "I didn't want to get involved." With every nightly news report telling of another child raped, killed or seriously injured by a person that was supposed to be responsible for them- how can anyone stay silent if they expect a child is being abused?

An abused child is damaged for life, abuse causes scars that will never go away. There are also many cases where an abused child turns into an abuser themselves once they become adults- which only serves to repeat the cycle- thus causing another generation of broken hearts and scarred minds.

It is inexcusable to allow it to continue if an adult knows of any abuse or neglect. A child may never be able to get over the fact that he or she was abused, they may carry the scars through a lifetime- but they will remember that someone cared enough to speak up and try to protect them. And, if you know of abuse and don't speak up- the possible fatal consequences to that child may be more than a conscience can handle.

While the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" is often repeated, it also takes a village to protect a child. If you notice a friend or family member is under a lot of stress or making bad choices and they're increasingly short-tempered with their child or not being as attentive to their child's needs as they should, say something.

If you know for a fact that someone you know is abusing their child, speak up!!!!!!!!!

call the proper authorities anonymously if you must. When it comes to a child's safety and well-being, even their life- don't be afraid to speak up or afraid to "get involved." Sometimes a child is saved from further abuse or neglect because someone chose to get involved, and they manage to go on and live normal, happy lives.

And then there are the children who have died needlessly, simply because someone was too afraid to get involved. Even if you happen to witness abuse while out running errands and it's a child you don't know- call the police, get a tag number and physical description of an adult- call Child Protective Services in your city

Here is some food for thought:

[ 1 ] Every day, about four children die in the U.S. because of abuse or neglect, most of them babies or toddlers.

[ 2 ] For every incident of child abuse or neglect that gets reported, it’s estimated that two others go unreported.-- think about it!

[ 3 ] A lot of people told me im an idiot for creating a petition on neglect. little do they fucken know, that neglect is by far the most common form of child abuse, accounting for more than 60% of all cases.

[ 4 ] Physical abuse accounts for between 15% and 20% of documented child abuse cases each year.

[ 5 ] 8 out of 10 sexual abusers are someone in the family or someone the child knows. You cannot trust ANYONE around your children, it's almost ALWAYS the one person you'd NEVER think would be possible.

[ 6 ] Of all prison inmates, 84% were abused as children. Same goes for drug and alcohol addicts and sex addicted female.

Do it for the children.


It's important that society no longer tolerates or turns a blind eye to abuse, if we don't protect the children, who will?

speak up, get up & do!

xox rica

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

green jello theory xx

i have been a writer my entire life. i try to consistently behave with as much class, style & humor in every situation, but as always we as human beings have a tendency to slip off the path we want.. regardless it is safe to assume that no matter where i go, no matter who i meet, i find inspiration in everything. the work place is no exception to this.

i observe what is around me at all times, because i think it's important to be weary and expect the worse while hoping for the best; i try to interpret the deeper meaning behind what I see. popular society tells us that most of us are fuck ups. losers, good-for-nothing sluts.. & because following what every one else thinks is the safe thing to do, many people blindly support this fact and immediately assume there is no deeper meaning to a girl who hasn't been able to hold a job lately. this is very wrong in many more ways than one.. but rather than getting into those reasons i have formulated something a bit more easier to interpret.

Fellow "fuck ups, losers, and sluts", get ready for a theory that would probably make a licensed psychologist roll his/her eyes...

the most inner layer of a person involves the morals, or the system of ethics which is unique to each person. Some girls can’t even get naked in front of their own boyfriend much less an entire crowd of strangers. I am thankful to be capable of both... sort of. not in the way you think.. there's been times when i've had to do photo shoots that made me wear little to nothing and i have no problem doing so in front of the entire group of people on the set. I just think in today's society, that is considered OK.

The next layer is the self esteem, which has to be strong in order to endure the pain inflicted by the outside world. it is hard, like an egg, but can be cracked if the correct pressure is applied. this is the reason people make bad decisions… their morals leak and they become hollow inside. they just stop caring...

On top of self esteem, there is the layer in which love, hate, and all of the emotions thrive. This is a very active area of someone’s mind, with many ups and downs and twists and turns. It is very honest, but gets filtered through the fourth layer......which is our invisible screen. This layer weeds out what is worth the trouble and what isn’t. The meaningless, stupid aspects of life are too big to slip through, like waiting longer than normal at a red light or overpaying at a restaurant. Sure they get your attention when they bounce off your defenses, but it’s nothing compared to the real issues in life. Getting married. A DWI. Receiving a thoughtful gift. These things slip right through the barrier and begin reeking havoc on your emotions to the point where they are purged in the form of tears, laughter, complete bullshit, etc.. Is there anyone out there who is truly honest with him or herself? Probably not. I make an attempt to be as true as possible, but I often find myself full of doubt. This doubt is something I never display on my most outer level, or how I present myself to the world.  This is also true for the most beautiful girls. They get so caught up with being hot that the slightest rejection from any person blows their screen into a thousand pieces. This leads to feelings of vulnerability that are very dangerous to the psyche.

To combat this, I picture the words of every person stuck in a big blob of green jello.yep, jello.

Compliments. Insults. Negativity. All of it is incapable of influencing my bottom layers and that is how I have survived this world for so long. I do not let it consume me. Of course I also push away most people who attempt to get close to me, but that is not entirely because of this green jello thing. Anger has been overwhelming my emotions lately and it’s about time I got rid of it. Crying doesn’t work. Neither does punching stuff or venting to a friend. I am able to weaken the emotion, however, by writing. When I am putting words together, nothing about the world is ugly. In fact, it is truly breathtaking.

I guess this is my way of saying I will never, ever stop writing. I can write about whatever I want whenever I want and the more people I piss off, the stronger I become.

Bring it on.

xox rica

Monday, September 19, 2016

taking the next step in a relationship

after reviewing some of the comments left on a status of one of my amazingly beautiful friend's face book page, Monica, i thought I'd post an entry of my own thoughts on the situation being on...

                                              particularly, taking it to the next level.

when it is time to take it to the next step and move in with the person who knocked you off your feet? personally, i think this thought shouldn't even be considered until after the one year mark.. preferably after the 2.5-3yr mark, but we all know that isn't always the case. we know the first year (and this is based off of you seeing this person at LEAST four-five times a week, any less doesn't really constitute), is the 'honeymoon' phase, and of course it's going to be all smiles and lovey dovey trips of 'omg he's oh SO amazing.'

my personal thoughts when it comes to taking it to the next step in a relationship? expect the best, but be prepared for THE WORST. If there is one thing to expect when moving in with your boyfriend, it is that not everything will be as you expect it, and not everything will be as you want it.. you must absolutely understand this. i cannot stress it enough!! along with the benefits of being able to share a home together, there are also possible risks to consider. And I would recommend ALL women should take time to assess the risks and benefits before you take the plunge.

first lets talk about the reasons one might want to do this. maybe you're tired of paying rent when you're always at your boyfriend's apartment (or for my young grasshoppers, wanna get out of your parents dungeon), or maybe you just feel it's finally time to move on to the next level in your relationship. well one good thing is, you will def save money. it seems like spending most of your time together would be the same as living together, but it's much different. Like any roommate, your sweetie is going to do things that annoy you, whether it's leaving the cap off the toothpaste or watching TV till 2 AM. dating is all fun, but living with someone takes work. Who is going to clean the bathroom? How are the bills going to be divided? you might think half is even.. but what is he's one to leave the lights on all the time, or if she does laundry every single day.. or if he orders pay per view movies all night? you must be considerate of the bills, of everything.

i am really not trying to discourage any of you females to decide against moving in, I'm really not. in fact, i think taking this step is one of the most amazing steps for a relationship. it really puts your relationship to the test, and shows just how much you two can handle. my boyfriend and i gained aloooooooot of strength when we took this step. all i am saying is it will not be all rainbows and butterflies, and i want you all to consider the thunderstorms that are sure to come, before you make the step and worse, before you make the step and are unable to jump back into undoing it.. =/

as stated above, i personally moved out at a Super young age, into a place with my boyfriend of then three years. i was super excited about it. i mean come on, what 16yr old was living with her first love in a 3bed/2bath house with a large yard (perfect for tanning hehe) by ourselves? we got two dogs, one kitty, and we truly felt like a family. it was amazing.

But then..

problems began. one of my big problems was that i definitely got caught up in the details of running a household. i set my weekends out for doing things like laundry, yard work, etc..  we had our own ways of cleaning things, when to do chores, i liked to maintain cleanliness as opposed to his style of living how he wants, and doing a thorough cleaning every few days.  then came the comments such as "i already got a mother, stop acting like mine!" which pissed me off to no end! lol

now onto some things that will definitely change in the relationship.....

a.) becoming too comfortable. you can expect that he will "let his hair down," so to speak, or, in other words, he will start leaving his socks around the place. This is not so much because he expects you to pick up after him, but because he may feel he no longer needs to try to impress you by keeping the place neat and clean.. i got kind of lucky because my then boyfriend was just as much a clean freak as i am. lol

b.) his boys/her girls. expect that his friends might be over when it is not convenient to you, as when you are just about to get out of the shower, or when you have to get up early the next morning for work. this was a biggie in my relationship, i couldn't tell you how many times i came running to my room wit a towel around my body all to scream my lungs off when i ran into one of his boys. eek.. talk about awkward! Good thing it was winter & I was wearing a towel, because during warm weather months i usually dry off in the bathroom and walk to my room naked! lol

c.) personal stuff. i would say put away anything you don't want him to see. Maybe you have some photos of old boyfriends or letters to/from exes. I personally ripped up every picture I had that either was of my ex, or reminded me of my ex. I just did not want to recall anything about his abusive bitch ass.  this is very crucial. i don't think you will ever understand the damage it can cause until it happens to you, having your future partner seeing anything intimate like that. Before I ripped up the pictures/letters etc I considered mailing them to my ex. But then I thought.. what is the point? I do not need to give him anything to make him miss me. I know he will miss my warmth, my love, my loyalty, and generosity. I want to become a memory to him. I do not want to give him things to remember me by.

d.) finances. sit down with him and discuss finances -- who will pay what, etc? are you going to combine bank accounts? Whose name will the utilities be in? Figuring all of this out before moving in together will make your moving in much smoother.

e.) routine. work out a routine. plan out how you will will handle chores around your house/apartment. What happens when you get home from work and there is no food to eat? Do you cook even when it is not your turn to cook or do you just do what makes sense -- prepare something for both of you? these may seem minute, but it really can cause little fights.

these things really add up. this is just my experience. as stated before, i really don't want any of you to change your mind about moving in just based on what i am saying.

i'm not trying to scare you. however if you really think these can be potential problems, then perhaps you two should try to work them out before they become a problem. 

I am really just trying to bring everything back to reality, hope for the best, but expect realistic things. It is not all going to be roses and sunshine. Expect to work through your problems and disagreements together.

Most importantly it is good to realize that compromise is important. communication is key. you have to work at it for it to be a success. I mean hey, how bad can coming home to flowers on your dresser be?? hehe :)

oh, &; i almost forgot. for those of you who make this step but then find out its not working out.. don't be like me and not have a plan B. it's a good idea to set aside some money for a future rent deposit, just in case things don't work out. Make sure, also, that you really can see yourself living with this person till your lease runs out. You don't want to be forced into a situation of living with someone just because you can't afford to move out! have an exit strategy planned just in case this happens to you... its VERY VERY VERY important.. from personal experience!!! I learned the SUPER hard way!!!

good luck my little lady bugs!

xox rica

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

fall is in the air .. xx

Fall is my favorite season.

It's very similar to Spring, just instead of cold easing into warm, it's warm easing into cold. In most cases, Summer puts up a good fight at the end trying to stay longer throughout the days.. but Winter truly gets its revenge in Spring when we should be expecting warm sun and get sun but no warmth.. Springs lately have been so cold it is as if it goes from Winter to Summer. However, Fall is beautiful. It has such a beautiful transformation. The changing leave colors are amazing to see. Then by the time the snow hits, the trees are naked and it looks a whole lot cleaner, i think any way.

Pumpkin Flavored.. EVERYTHING !!

Is it really a surprise that when I say I love fall that that also means I love pumpkin spice anything? I also loveee cider mills.  You can go to cider mills to
pick apples or pumpkins. Soon enough we can also head through corn mazes and haunted houses, and munch on caramel apples and donuts. :) To be honest, anything pumpkin makes me drool. Pumpkin pies, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin spiced lattes, pumpkin cream cheese and bagels from Trader Joe's, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin Jamba juice smoothies, everything pumpkin is sooo delish!

Fall Colors

I love the colors of autumn, the smell of burning leaves that people make a bonfire of in their gardens, the crunchy sound the leaves make when you walk through them and when you get those beautiful Indian summer days at times in the autum

Farmer's Markets.

I LOVE famers markets! One went on last weekend in the town next to me, and I just love being able to take advantage of some fresh (and cheap) summer harvest fruits and vegetables. It's a great way to eat healthy, maybe grab some for home for a future dinner or salad, and not to mention it’s also a great way to support the local farm industry as well. 

Sonny Acres.
Yes it's mainly for children, but one of  my favorite things to do there is the haunted hay ride. It's best to go at night time, on a full moon w/cloudy skies to add to the suspense. i also loooove Halloween decor. i love glitter!. my pumpkins-- i pick the medium sized roundest ones & transform them into amazingly glittery masterpieces lol

Football Season !!
well, not for everyone but football is defff my favorite season so of course im going to plan a great event around it. ot has been so long since I have seen them at soldier field nut  must this season.

Apple Orchards!
I have never been to one in my life, but I am so excited to do so! just imagine . We had so much fun having competitions on who can get the most apples, we got apple cidar for soooo cheap, and drank hot chocolate like it's going out of style-- We took soo many pictures and I just am so excited to get them into my scrapbook.

Fall Fashion 
another favorite of mine is deff the fashion this season. the sweater, vests, scarfs, boots, uggs, Oh my I can go on and on :)

Arent these booties to. die. for? They were on sale at this new shoe port on north avenue in villa park for only $39 !!! Since I bought 4 pairs of shoes, I got 25% off. This is legit my new favorite show store next to online ;-)

As much as I love bathing suits and shorts, it is nice to get back into cozy sweaters and scarves. It's so fun to see other fall outfit ideas to see what I can come up with out of my closet. I love the knee high boots, the scarves, and the purses. I love wearing sweater dresses and mittens; leopard print, plaid, patterns.. dark purples and reds, oranges and browns; penny loafers, camel coats, longer hemline.. All of it!
Oversized Sweater and Leopard Pumps

the boots, with tight pants, and long knit sweaters. I love adding layers. Big oversized purses, and long loose waves. IDEAL for fall. 

These two images are perfect examples of ideal fall wear

I also love collecting fall leaves, I store them in my big dictionary so they are flattened and then use them in an envelope to look at. i love baking fall desserts, brewing cider, raking leaves into big piles and jumping into them ;]

Felicia Marie ... *

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Hair Tips Article!

 Hey girls!

I did NOT write this, but rather came across an article on Style Max, and thought these were some of the best tips to receive about your hair! Please review them, I do not disagree with a single one!It is a long list, but the top 100 best pieces of advice you will receive regarding hair, I promise!

1. Don’t brush your hair when it’s wet. Hair is more susceptible to damage when it’s damp than when it is dry.

2. Not all hair brushes are created equal for every hair type. Stick to wide-tooth combs if you must detangle damp locks (obviously not ideal) or boar bristles to distribute oils.

3. Treat your hair to a deep conditioning masque once or twice a week. Depending on the ingredients used, these products provide a rush of hydration (even more so than the average conditioner) and nutrients that repair and nourish the hair shaft.

4. Use a diffuser to evenly distribute the heat from the blow-dryer in your hair, so that you’re not forcefully drying out one section of hair.

5. Keep the blow-dryer a good six to eight inches away from your scalp to avoid burning or stripping the scalp of essential oils.

6. Practice giving yourself head massages to improve blood circulation and to exfoliate dead skin cells from your scalp.

7. Scalp exfoliation is essential to remove dirt and debris from your scalp, as well as flakes that look like dandruff but aren’t. Use a scalp exfoliation product to foster a better environment for hair growth.

8. Know the difference between dandruff and dry flakes. Dandruff is sebum and product build-up combined with bacteria and sometimes a production of yeast, while dry scalp is essential dead skin cells being sloughed off from, well, being dried out. Treating these two things require two different processes.

9. Treat dandruff with dandruff-specific shampoo you find at the drugstore, just remember not to overuse the product. You don’t want to switch your dandruff problem to a dry scalp problem.

10. Naturally treat dandruff by working tea tree oil to your scalp and rinsing out. This specific oil has a strong anti-bacterial element that fights what could be causing the overproduction of skin cells.

11. Baking soda works for dandruff, too. Create a paste of baking soda and then rinse it out in the shower. This will help absorb the excess oil. As a rule, baking soda helps balance pH of your skin—and news flash, your scalp IS your skin.

12. Scalp health does affect your hair, as the oils found on your scalp are meant to be distributed down the hair shaft, but if that area is lacking, your strands may suffer, too. Give your scalp a treat by using a moisture-enhanced shampoo.

13. Untangle your hair from the bottom instead, working your way up to eliminate breakage.

14. Getting trims every so often won’t make hair grow faster, but it will help hair from further splitting down the hair shaft.

15. Use a heat protectant spray to prevent your heat tools from scorching your hair, damaging the hair shaft and removing needed oils from your hair.

16. Heat from styling tools isn’t the only thing you need to worry about. Like your skin, the sun’s UVA and UVB rays can damage your locks by drying out your hair, damaging the structure of the cuticle. Once that cuticle is damaged, UVA rays, specifically, can damage the inner fibers of the hair shaft, one being where the pigment is held called the medulla. The sun can warp the color in this layer since the cuticle is damaged—i.e your protective barrier. This explains why you see so many hair dye jobs going bad when too exposed to too much sun. Many sprays and hair protectants include substances that work as UVA and UVB protectants.

17. Experts say that fine and curly hair is more susceptible to sun damage, so if this is your hair type, be sure to use products that block those rays.

18. To further protect your hair from the sun’s harmful rays, try physically covering your hair with a hat.

19. Another pool essential that has harmful effects to your hair? Chlorine. It dries out hair because it removes essential oils (the stuff that keeps your hair hydrated) and the chemical deposits can fade or change the hue of color-treated hair. Wear a swim cap to prevent your hair from meeting up with this chemical.

20. Before heading into the pool, jump in the shower and soak your hair with water. Your hair will absorb the fresh water, essentially not leaving any room for your hair to absorb as much of the chlorinated water once you dive in.

21. Give your locks a boost of moisture before jumping in the pool by applying a rich oil like coconut oil or olive oil. These substances will also leave little room for chlorine absorption and since they’re of a rather thick, oily consistency, they won’t wash off right away.

22. Follow your swimming activities with a quick rinse of your locks, too. This will prevent the chemical deposits from sitting in your hair, further warping the color and drying them out.

23. Want an at-home clarifier? A mixture of one part apple cider vinegar and 4 parts water is said to help remove chlorine that can damage your hair and your hair color.

24. Make a baking soda paste by putting in one tablespoon of the product in a cup of water and working its way through your hair. This will also help remove the chlorine.

25. That carbonated water in your pantry? Keep it! Carbonated water also works as a clarifier, removing product build-up and chemical deposits from your hair. Just rinse in through your hair like you would when you’re showering.

Heat Styling

26. Practice blow-drying your hair with a cooler setting if you don’t need the heat to hold a style. The cool air is less likely to prevent heat damage to your locks.

27. Air-drying your hair is a great option to give your hair a break from the heat, but remember to be gentle when rubbing the towel through your hair. A vigorous shake with the towel on your damp hair could cause breakage.

28. Never straighten or curl wet or damp hair. When your hair is in this state, it is at its most vulnerable. The heat can penetrate the hair cuticle and wreak havoc.

29. Showering in super hot water can damage your hair by opening up the cuticle of the hair, leaving it susceptible for major moisture loss. Keep the water cooler or stick to what experts suggest as luke-warm.

30. When rinsing product out of your hair, use cold water. This is said to help close the cuticle, trapping some of the good-for-you ingredients of the product and moisture in your tresses.

31. For a gentler hair-drying experience, pick a ceramic hair-dryer, which minimizes the damage caused by direct heat of traditional blow-dryers.

32. Another hair-dryer option is to use a tourmaline product, which emits the same type of less-damaging heat as ceramic dryers but also emit negative ions, which break down water droplets quicker.

33. If you have fine or damaged hair already, experts claim you should allow your hair to air-dry about 80 percent before using the tool.

34. Since it’s not good to concentrate on one section of hair for TOO long, try moving your blow-dryer simultaneously with your brush or turning your round brush as you blow-dry, switching up which sections actually feel the heat.

35. Change up the heat of your blow-dryer by “pumping” shots of cold air into your hair to cool your locks down.

36. If you live in an area with a ton of mineral deposits in the water, try investing in a water filter that blocks those substances from trickling out of the spicket and into your hair.

37. Curling irons cause hair damage, too—and probably more so than just your average blow-dryer. Be sure to not lose track of how long your hair is wrapped around the barrel—this heat can actually burn your hair.

38. Keep curling iron heat between 300 and 400 degrees so that you can temporarily change the proteins of your hair without drying your locks out.

39. Suffering from dry ends? When curling your hair, try to keep them out of the clamp or left out from being wrapped around the iron. You don’t want to dry them out even more.

40. Spray on a heat protectant before applying a curling iron. You don’t want to soak your strands but lightly spray any area where your hair will be touching the direct heat.

41. When taking your hair out of a clamp iron, gently let go of the clamp—about half way so your hair can slip through—and pull the device down slowly. This will prevent you from yanking out your hair while trying to remove it.

42. Ever notice all the stray hairs on the counter when you’re done straightening your hair? When using a straightener, glide the clamp down the hair shaft instead of “pulling it” to prevent hair breakage.

43. Try to give your hair at least two days off a week from heat-styling. It deserves the break!

44. While your hair deserves the break, hair types handle styling in different ways. Chat with your hairstylist about an ideal schedule for your specific hair type to really get the lowdown on what will aggravate it.

45. Start off the week with a blowout, transitioning each day to hairstyles that don’t require much heat, like braids and fun ponytails.

46. Get curly hair without heat by braiding damp hair and sleeping on them.

47. Try fabric rags, foam rollers, or Velcro rollers that create overnight curls or soft waves without any heat.

48. If you wear your hair up often, try not to create super tight ponytails or buns that pull at the hairline all the time. This can cause breakage straight from the root, and in extreme cases, hair loss.

49. Sleep in a silk scarf or on a silk pillowcase to avoid breakage and tangles. This is also a great tip for preventing wrinkles on your face!

50. Nix the 100 strokes a day habit—it really only gives your hair more of a chance to break.

51. At-home tricks can help you determine if your hair is damaged or not. To see if your hair is strong, gently pull on the strands. If they snap easily, experts say you should avoid using super strong chemicals on your hair, like bleach.

52. To see if your hair is fragile, experts suggest you study your curl pattern or texture. If it differs throughout your head of hair, your hair may be in a fragile state.

53. To detangle teasing, use your hands to separate strands and hit the shower before attempting to brush it out. Using a detangling spray or watered-down conditioner should help loosen up any knots.

54. Try to wash your hair every other day at the very most if you can get away with it. Excess washing can dry out hair, create build-up of chemicals, and worsen some dry scalp issues. How often you wash your hair really depends on the hair type, though. Thick hair that’s normal to dry can go longer, while those with fine, oily hair may need to kick the washing up a notch.

55. If you have extensions, make sure you’re regularly detangling at the root to avoid matting.

56. Try to avoid wearing extensions that are applied via a weft into your hair in extremely tight ponytails often—they can pull from your root.

57. Those with dry hair and scalps should try “cleansing shampoos” specifically made for dry hair that gently clean while pumping in moisture without weighing your hair down.

Chemicals and Ingredients

58. Stay away from sulfates. These chemicals, commonly found in hair products, are the reason your shampoo lathers and creates those suds. They may cause irritation, be drying, and fade hair color in some.

59. Parabens don’t have a great reputation either. While it is not confirmed and more research is needed, the preservative found in beauty products, specifically shampoo, has been said to be possibly linked to some cancers and disturb hormone activity. If you’re unsure of this component, you can find a paraben-free formula, too.

60. Silicones are found in many conditioners, but for some, they can build-up on the hair, and some claim they may prevent nutrients from getting into the hair shaft. If this is a concern for you, search for silicone-free products—you’ll be surprised to find out how many there actually are.

61. Alcohol-based and products high in fragrances aren’t great, either. Often, they dry out the scalp (when in shampoos) and the hair you’re cleansing. If you notice your shampoo is a bit drying, see if this could be the case.

62. Look for products with natural oils that induce the scent instead of man-made alcohol-based fragrances.

63. The amount of shampoo depends on the type of product you are using, so always read what the bottle suggests on the directions. However, fine strands or short hair may need less of a formula than thick, super long hair.

64. Experts say that a good rule of thumb to figure out how much shampoo to use is to apply a quarter-sized amount of shampoo and conditioner to your hand and work it through your locks.

65. While you’ll definitely want to concentrate heavily on the scalp, you should be applying your shampoo from root to tip, massaging gently on the scalp to avoid irritation.

66. Keep conditioner placed from mid-length to the ends of your hair—concentrating on those ends is key. Too much conditioner on your scalp could cause build-up and an excess of oils where your hair naturally already creates them.

67. There’s a reason your shampoo or conditioner always runs out before the other. Not everyone needs to wash or condition their hair at the same rate. Don’t force yourself to use more product just to stay at the same product pace.

68. For hair that needs moisture and just a light cleanse, try a cleansing conditioner that removes debris and build-up but really targets hydration.

69. Use a deep hydration mask once a week for a burst of moisture.

70. Apply a dry hair oil, like argan oil or marula oil, that absorbs quickly to your damp hair and let it air-dry for a protective, moisturizing, and reparative treatment.

71. Try products that aim to condition and revive the keratin in your hair, the protein building blocks contained within your hair that gives it elasticity and strength.

72. Keratin treatments, where keratin and other chemicals are combined to soften and straighten your hair, may give you the texture you desire, but they often require very high heat and some contain not-so-great chemicals like formaldehyde. Look for a version that’s formaldehyde free and talk to your stylist to see if your hair is up for the process.

73. To avoid all costs with chemicals, switch over to an organic hair care line and check out the ingredients lists of your favorite products.


74. Try applying a product enriched with coconut oil to strengthen or moisturize hair after color-treatments or a day out in the sun.

75. Marula oil—this extremely light hair oil is filled with antioxidants and fatty acids to give strength and build your hair back to its healthy state. It’s also great to apply to dry ends.

76. Tea tree oil is very soothing and an anti-bacterial, found in some shampoos to cleanse as well as to provide relief to the scalp.

77. Black seed oil is pretty much a newbie when it comes to hair oils, but the Kardashians swear by it for shiny, hydrated hair.

78. Avocado oils are huge in fatty acids (replenishing lipids to protect your hair) and vitamin E (antioxidant superstar) and are found in many conditioners.

79. Look out for olive oil, a hydrating ingredient that’s often found in conditioners. It’ll really saturate your hair with nourishment and make it really shiny, but you’ll want to rinse it out thoroughly, as it’s extremely thick.

80. Try a sheet mask for your hair, formulated with keratin and collagen.

81. Create DIY hair masks using recipes that call for common ingredients found in your kitchen, like olive oil, coconut oil, honey, avocados, baking soda, aloe vera oil, and even bananas.

Hair Color

82. When going in for a drastic color change, like super dark to extremely light blonde, consider asking your colorist about Olaplex, a treatment which prevents breakage by acting as a barrier between the bleach and your hair.

83. Double processing takes a toll on your hair, as it first involves bleaching your current hair color to get it to the one you want. Spread these salon visits out to avoid your hair screaming for some TLC.

84. Minimize washing after coloring your hair—this process may have already caused some breakage as well as dullness and striping natural oils could be less than beneficial.

85. Want a color that leaves as little damage as possible? Consider going darker, which often puts less strain on your hair.

86. If you’re going platinum blonde, remember to regularly mask your hair in coconut oil to seep as much hydration back into your hair as possible.

87. When bleaching your hair, apply bleach to the root last to minimize breakage at the roots. You don’t want permanent fly-aways!

88. Drink water to keep yourself hydrated but also to keep your body functioning its best for healthy hair growth.

89. Eat plenty of protein, like fish or chicken, to keep your hair strong.

90. Caffeine has been linked to hair growth when applied topically. Try products that include this specific ingredient!

91. If you’re experiencing a noticeable amount of hair loss, talk to your doctor to target the cause, as it could be a sign of a bigger issue.

92. Stress and hair loss have been linked, so keep in mind your stress levels, the effects you’re feeling because of them, and practice healthy control mechanisms to keep your body in check.

93. Head to the salon with dirty hair, as bleaching will dry out your hair and you don’t want to further strip it before going in for an intense process.


94. Eggs are a solid source of protein and reportedly contain biotin within the yolk, which is an ingredient that promotes hair growth.

95. Because of the zinc they contain, oysters have been said to be a good food to eat for hair health.

96. Dairy products, like yogurt and milk, are rich in calcium, a key factor in strengthening your hair.

97. Spinach is high in iron and in B vitamins for long, shiny hair.

98. Need a quick work snack? Walnuts contain protein and omega-3, which is beneficial to hair health, while almonds contain biotin.

99. Consider taking supplements with biotin in them to strengthen your hair, allowing each strand to grow longer without breaking.

Hair Facts
100. Hair not growing as fast as it once was? Experts say that your hair growth cycle can change as you get older, often becoming slower. Thinning hair is also common as you age, however the growth phase of your hair is also largely based on genetics.

101. Healthy hair, when wet, can stretch to 30% it’s length – precisely why we told you above to not brush it when wet – no one wants to snap their hair off when it’s stretched this much!

Read more at :

xx Fee

Saturday, May 28, 2016

remembering memorial day < 3

Happy Memorial Day !!!!!!

I'm usually all fun and games, but I want to take a moment here to write about the true meaning of Memorial Day.

First, if any veteran, or current soldier is reading this, thank you VERY much for your service to our country. Thank you for putting yourself in the line of fire, for millions of Americans, so we all can have the freedoms we have.

To some, this weekend is nothing more than liquidation sales, BBQ's, and just another three day weekend. But do we really remember WHY we fly the flag out in the front yard? WHY we're even celebrating in the first place?

It's not really a happy holiday. It's to remember those who have died serving in the armed forces for OUR freedom. The men and women who have spent months away from their families to stay up for hours patrolling the jungles of Vietnam or streets of Baghdad, only to die in battle.

For what purpose? To keep us free.

We celebrate it to not mourn their death, but celebrate their life.

Take time this year to thank a Veteran. Or if you happen to see a memorial for a fallen soldier, pay some respects to it. They're the reason we're still the country we are.

Friday, May 27, 2016

steady on my grind

a true independent woman n.e.v.e.r stops. not for one second. she is steady on her grind.

i am all too familiar when it comes to being on my grind. i have always had to be. i work hard for the money i get, and for my possessions. I feel very blessed to have walked various different roads of life thus far. i have had the chance to work with & for some of the most amazing people, of all class and stature. i have gained so much experience that is very beneficial to me career wise as well as personally. Not to mention how great it feels to enjoy the feeling of success. 

Unfortunately there will be people around you who want you to fail. in fact, they will do every thing in their power to do so just to make sure you do not exceed them. i've dealt with it first hand. "how can someone else's success bring pain?" You have to keep moving though. you have made the decision to get on that road, put the keys in the ignition, and start the car and go. It is your foot on the accelerator. You determine how fast you want to go. The question is – how soon do you want to get there?

If you have something you want to do or somewhere you want to go then hit the gas, pedal to the  medal. just.... make sure you have extra gas in the tank. ;] Make sure you have your course plotted and planned and an alternate route in case there is trouble along the way. When you have done all that – smash on the accelerator.

It is the only way you are going to get where you want to go before everyone else.... with time to spare. i'm sure all my readers have been able to tell that im from chicago, with out having read my profile of course. the way i talk, act, write, and most of all the way i hustle all have ChiCaGo written all over it. lol

I most definitely think it takes a unique mindset. you have to plan while others are playing. you have to study while every one else is partying. you have to decide when every one else is delaying. you have to prepare when others are day dreaming. you must begin when every one else is procrastinating. you must be persistent when others are giving up. you must listen while others are speaking. you must save when others are wasting.

"if you had one shot; one opportunity to seize everything that you ever wanted; one moment--would you capture it or just let it slip?" 

there are times in life where you make a decision to move and make money moves or stay where you are and let the moment slip. The challenge to this scenario is that we don't usually see the opportunity until it has... well, passed. believe it or not, your brain is powerful enough to take in a lot of info if you teach is to filter out the negative!

Friday, April 15, 2016

what means the world to you?

loyalty && respect are the two most important elements to me. 

not to be confused with my most important tangible objects, people, or responsibilities. i read everyone && pay attention to things you wouldn't. i have an eye for observing && a knack for uncovering things people tend or try to hide. i study EVERY ONE. i like to know as much information as possible about someone, and i gather this information just from reading you. you spill out a lot about yourself with every movement you take && every comment you make. the type of clothes you wear and car you drive say a lot about yourself all the way down to what type of shoes you wear and whether or not they are kept clean.Image result for loyalty and respect
it's not right to make judgments, but get real-- it's human nature && what we all do! upon my initial first impression of you, i set a judgment on you. then i leave it up to you to disprove that judgment. do you? more than half of them times, no. i'm almost always right && when i'm wrong, i accept that. in fact, i like it when i'm wrong because it makes my last thread of hope that there are still amazing people in this world that consider loyalty and respect as important as i do.

one thing i won't do is ever desert people.. it has been done to me recently and it is a never ending worry that you may never talk to them again or ever find out what happened. Never desert your friends. the best we can hope for are good, honest companions. They stick by you through thick and thin and won't judge you based on your crazy family. life is better the first time around. often imitated, never duplicated. The original is always the best... but the worst enemies you'll face are those you bring with you.

i always go with my gut feeling. it never fails. when i sense a shady motherfucker, i'll be the first to watch the person on all he or she does. i won't call him or her out though. why? cus i like to see how far people think they can go. this goes for people who try to lie to me.. it's amusing. like i'm really that stupid && don't know. i've been turned onto a lot of the scandalous and manipulative ways people can turn down.. and won't for any thing in the world let my guard down. i always expect the worse from people.. and when they prove their best, that's when i let them in my circle.. but just because they got pass the outlying blockades doesn't mean they are into my circle of besties. they have to prove themselves more than twice. i'm a picky eater, but even more of a picky friend chooser and an even worse dater.

&& i'm not saying this to be cocky, but i am one DAMN good friend to have. i am down for all my girls. i will do anything to put a smile on their face. i don't steal, lie, or cheat when it comes to the ones i love. i am very knowledgeable on how scandalous people can and will be, this is why i never let my guard down.. because i have before and only got hurt in the end.

perhaps i'm just a cynical bitch.. i doubt it but then again if i were, why am i always proven right?

xox fee

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

survey time;; get in my business < 3

i love talking about myself. Most women do. I also love filling surveys out. So when you mix the two, you get this.....


1: food? Fav is Mexican & steak <3
2: thing to do? Anything involving music; festivals, live music, live bands all of it !
3: thing to talk about? i love talking about my struggle to serve as inspiration for other girls - and also music!
5: drink? Strawberry milk!  && tequila!
6: clothes? i'm always wearing summer dresses ♥
7:holiday? i love every holiday-- & you bet i celebrate each to the max.. i just love decorating!

1: ever cried over a girl? only when friends of mine have taken advantage of my friendship
2: ever cried over a boy? nope, i got my cootie shot. it prevents me from crying.
3: ever lied to someone? because i sincerely felt i had too... i don't choose to purposely..well other than to police-- no officer I did not realize I was speeding ;-)
4: ever been in a fist fight? too many to count...i was always throwing down throughout my school years!

1: of times i have been in love: once ♥
2: of times I have had my heart broken? A couple of times; not just romantically.
3: of girls I have kissed? just about every best friend of mine growing i was curious, what can i say ;)
4: of boys I've slept with? How dare you ask a woman this! ;-)
5: of drugs taken illegally? about 2, the rest were legal! :)
6: of scars on my body? 5, but only one i REALLY wish i didn't have.. it's on my butt! Jeff says it's "cute" (im sure)
7: of things in my past that I regret? i don't dwell on that stuff anymore.. can't even think of one regret. it got me where i am today; and i am SO grateful!

1: pretty? on my good days :)
2: funny? i've been told im fucking hilarious.
3: hot? when i actually shave, shower, and not dress like a bum ? its almost not fair to other women 😂 (obviously very modest as well)
4: friendly? i'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet :)
5: amusing? most definitely;  always entertaining
6: ugly? only when you wake me up before my alarm clock goes off.
7: caring? absolutely,  Even for those that don't deserve it.
8: sweet? again, the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet :)
9: dorky? at times, especially during shark week.

1: Wallet? its pregnant, but ready to pop any day =( (rent's due 😩) - and I change it every month- usually big with a lot of pockets/zippers.
2: Hairbrush?: have too many. but my most used is a huge round brush that's bright blue w/diamond studs on the handle
3: Toothbrush? i recently got the Sonicare one, the $140 one your dentist tells you is an absolute must!  We will see how it goes!
5: Pillow cover? Always silk! Currently, black silk .. The best for your skin!
6: Blanket? black n brown rabbit fur- just got it for Christmas <3
7: Sunglasses? too many to describe, always a necessity, even at night or inside! 8)
8: Underwear? currently, not wearing any ;) but always thongs or booty shorts. granny panties are a no no;  just hate panty lines showing through my pants! I find more comfort in thongs.. lol yes really!
9: CD in stereo right now? Who listens to CDs.. haha My current playlist is 90s Hits.
10: Tattoos? My first one, reminiscent of the love of my life, and my amazing little sister.
11: Piercings? my ears and belly button. I really think face piercings are tacky in my eyes; every employer agrees I'm sure. I would like added ear piercings though.
15: Wishing? my savings account continues to grow to buy a brand new SUV
16: Person you wish you could see right now? my baby sister catfish <3
17: Is next to you right now? The most amazing man ever! My babes!

18: Your Mood? high off life!
19: The last thing you ate? Reeses Peanut Butter Cups <3
20. Are deathly afraid of? death itself, living alone, the dark, && being in deep, dark water

1: like candles? obsessed with them, first thing i do when i get home from work is light them all.
2: like the taste of blood? how else would i get rid of the evidence? ;0)
3: believe in love? absolutely. my sweetie proves it to me every day.
4: believe in soul mates? most definitely, I'm not sure if I found mine but time will tell  💗

More Information If You Are Truly Interested
... which i know my haters are =]

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? yes, chicago cops pull everyone out of the car at every stop regardless of the reason you were pulled over. why? cus chicago cops are corrupt like that. they're always out for blood. They have to be that way though -- theyre in the jungle.

2. Do you have any weird sleeping habits? absolutely do. I'm told something different every morning. i moan in my sleep, talk in it, laugh obnoxiously in it, do crazy yoga poses, and always have my butt stuck in the air. oh and do i looooove sleeping naked under lots of blankets!

3. Whens the last time you swam in a lake? memorial day

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? with someone else duh.. for warmth, love to cuddle &; be held onto.. spooning is an absolute must every night with my babe :)

5. Where is the Wizard of Oz? i only find it when i'm rolling.

6. Do you consider yourself creative? im creatively awesome. i love arts and crafts. i am currently working on my scrap book of my fiance and myself, and i make jewelry often. hobby lobby, michaels, and jo ann fabrics are some of my favorite stores!!

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Of course, i don't blame him ;)

8. Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears? Christina 

9. Do you stay friends with your exes? Nope! A part of my past that will stay there. I think it should always be that way -dont have to hate the person, but no reason they should remain best friends

10. Do you know how to play poker?typically win through distraction

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? nope. ive tried but i always pass out. what can i say i neeeeed my sleep.

12. What's your favorite commercial? the chef boyardi ones w/ the vegetables.. soo cute.

13. What type of food do you eat the most? tacos. pizza. nachos. taco bell. terrible isnt it?

14.when was the last time you had a lot of fun? i do so very often; my life has been an amazing ride lately.

15. Have you ever had a Choco Taco? yeahh.. def do notttt like them.. yuck..

18. How often do you forget your dreams? i actually often remember them.. and lemme tell you they are some weird crack head dreams too!

20. Can you name 5 songs by N'SYNC? bye bye bye, pop, god must have spent a little more time on you, girlfriend, This I promise, Its gonna be me, I want you back, gone, Tearin up my heart, I drive myself crazy, Ill never stop, Music of my heart. girllllllll i can name allll thier songs !!

24. Do you always wear your seat belt? always :)

28. What do you wear to bed? nothing. i love sleeping naked, but when there's company over i sleep in my boyfriend's t shirts.

30. Do you know how to play pool? Not really but i am such a good distraction my opponent usually ends up fucking up cus of me so i end up winning by default haha :)

32. Do you truly love anyone? yes. i hope everyone can say yes to this question!

33. Bluegrass or rap?  Rap - although some BlueGrass has grown on me.

34. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? eva longoria or kate beckinsale

35. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror? Always have, always will


Now you must go complete this survey && let me know in a comment once you've completed it so i can go peep yours!!

Friday, January 29, 2016

making choices


most people today do not realize just how important making choices in life is. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you make a decision. maybe you won't know for twenty years, or maybe you find out in a few seconds.. && sometimes you'll never ever be able to trace it to its source when other times it'll be right in front of your face. in most cases, you only get one chance to play it out. because after all, your fate is what you create. i know i know, that is debatable.

Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved... so many people waste their lives in regret and i just think it's such a waste of life, a waste of valuable time others would give a million dollars for..

i know i talk about life being wasted, while i turn around and do it. but it's like i want to achieve perfection and try to avoid bad things, but there’s a devil in everyone.. we can't all be the way we want to be. we can't be [the person we preach to be entirely... and most of all, i can't please anyone, nor do i try anymore.

i became this way because of trust.

yep. trust- the word is just plain half ignorance applied to the concept that nobody can use it correctly, and in fact often abused. i can't do anything when my back is turned, i am blind. i am afraid of myself and every human being that has the power in their hands to deceive me.

&& what many don't know is it corrupts my mind, and way of thinking. that's where i start to dig, i dig myself a hole, a hole that i don't plan on ever getting out of.. what is this hole ?

this hole is wisdom. 

For everyone that lies or turns their back on me, I become wise and more observant. you make me stronger. yep. put that in your pipe and smoke it ;)

all jokes aside, let's face it-- i don’t get the option of picking or choosing when ill excite you, bore you or piss you off.

i’m a chick to wrapped up in her own business to notice your jealousy most of the time, and when i do, i become so consumed in what's wrong with you that i don't even know what to start to say to you. i can't help that i got that attitude where if I don’t mean shit to you, then you don’t mean shit to me, its not being bitchy -- its being wise, don't get it twisted.

lesson to learn: pretty faces can be monsters in masks. i can either be the cancer or the light of your life.

you decide <3

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

new years 2015

2015, a year full of surprises- some good, some bad. What's important is to be able to reflect on all of it. We ALL have room to grow. We ALL have things we can change, things we are working towards, etc.

This year I have so much to spill that is different from last year and so much to be thankful for! In this year, I've found a sense of peace that I never before imagined existed. What was SO appealing to me last year does not even get a peek from me this year. The demons I was fighting last year finally gave up. We're on the same side now  (lol totally kidding.) Things that got under my skin merely scratch the surface now. While I'd be the first to admit that my life is stressful, I've learned that I can live each day with a sense of hope and I can remain positive about anything that may happen.

this new year keeps getting better and better as the days pass. i haven't had time for my new years' resolutions, but wanted to give an update blog on things that i really want to improve on this year, as well as a few words of wisdom I have gained from the past year.

i have realized if we wait until we are ready, we can be waiting our whole lives. you need to take that leap .. whats the most you can lose? no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. i have learned to ask myself .. "will this matter a year from now?" i saw a really funny picture that had a picture of a girl doing bad habits, and a quote saying "I'm changing for the new year" and the next year,, it had the same image of her with the same quote. How true is that? LOL we try to change but end up back in our ways. I am set on making changes, and following up with them throughout the year!

I have become closer to my family these past few months than we have in the past few years. things fell into place over a huge ordeal I had on my shoulders but like I said, they fell into place and things are not the best right now but they are headed in that direction. it is so nice to know I have people I can truly call family now. no matter how much you may feel you are doing the right thing -- abandoning your family is not the way to go. they are the ones who will be the first to catch you in your fall from grace. not every one in your family, but there will at least be one person who will. I found that out the hard way so do not make the same mistakes as I have.

my heart is so full. i am making and meeting new friends that have enriched my life in ways I never thought possible. it's awesome to have friends who are all about moving forward and being ambitious!

note to self::
you have enough . you do enough . you ARE enoughend of story.  i am on my way && i know the best is yet to come

Let's do this 2016 <3