to be or not to be .. a vegetarian?

After careful consideration, i have decided that i will enter the crazy cat lady phase a little early. why? because at times, I absolutely really cannot stand to be around people.

For starters, they can be selfish, FAKE, JEALOUS, and completely UNTRUSTWORTHY not to mention conceited, and egotistical. In most cases, females are all of those at the same time! how are humans capable of all of this? are our sophisticated brains holding us back from really living life? or do we need this sophistication to propel mankind into some kind of super era? because if you ask me... i'd say animals have the riqht idea. When you think about it, everything I need to know about life I can learn from watching my cat. -- eat when you’re hungry... sleep when you’re sleepy... and most importantly, when you see someone you love hurting...wait until they are done trashing the apartment before making an attempt to cuddle. -- lol


how many times have you heard the same old same old...
"I hate men, but I have a dog that i would marry if i legally could."

"i hate men, but i have five cats that mean the world to me."

"I hate men."

"i hate men."

"i hate men."

i truly believe a lot of this stems from bad experiences in childhood; therefore, many girls find comfort in the innocence of animals to sort of que them from those bad experiences. I think this is mostly because cats & dogs are incapable of judging people. And the most insecure girls get to really appreciate that factor the most. Why? Because when in the company of a pet, there is no need to suck your stomach in to make your boobs look bigger. animals don’t care if you have a little lisp or if you have an odd looking belly button. having that “break” from the pressures of society is revitalizing and relaxing, which is why i feel alot of women in the stripping/adult film industry become actively involved in PETA and vegetarianism. they simply get to the point where I am and that is the realization that there are no good and real people out there. It is truly a sad world. sure, the book “Skinny Bitch” completely horrified me, the documentary “Food, Inc.” made me physically sick, but it didn't stop me from eating meat. I don't think I can ever truly become a vegetarian.. 

Now onto the images. They are great aren't there? LOL They belong to PETA. PETA has been under fire for a number of years for using provocative images to advertise their cause. Mostly of celebrities posing nude such as the images above and below depict. I think this is pure genius. It gets people talking and nothing spreads information faster than a bunch of people that think they should feel offended. lol Let's face it, there will always be that one person who does. Below are some ads on google image search that I think are interesting and if this bothers you, I don’t give a fuck.

Now let's see another side..

men are better than animals because they don’t need to be fed, they clean up after ourselves, and they don’t try to mate with every female who waves her furry little end our way.

Oh wait, that only counts for 25% of the male population.

 maybe if pets talked, women would hate them.. What if your rat terrier mix sees you scarfing pizza at midnight and says, “uhm yeah, becky. do you really need to be eating that, sweetie?”

Or, your cat sees you sneaking in at 4 A.M. after a night out and angrily demands to know, “Where have you BEEN?! You were out with HIM again, weren’t you? Slut!”

Nobody likes a controlling, possessive feline, but again, their small brains preclude this annoying behavior. most importantly, remember that your trusted pooch or feline CANNOT change a flat tire, care for you when you are sick, or wine and dine you on your birthday. i don't even want to get into sexual needs...

to get a little deeper, what if just... what if the animals were put on this earth for us to consume. hmm.. ever thought about that ? then by not eating them you are keeping them from fufilling their destiny. I must admit that there is nothing like having a large porterhouse steak brought to your table all sizzling and stuff and cutting into it and it cuts like butter. Slightly pink inside & the meat just melts in your mouth! (I’m talking about steak here you gutter-minded people ;) ]

what are your thoughts ? are you vegetarian ? when did you become one, why did you, and do you hate others who aren't? i personally love meat way too much to give it up...wow that sounded pretty slutty, didn't it? yeeesh! im on a roll tonight ;]

power struggle

Power.

Maybe sometimes it's best to put up a shield as you head into the battlefield of love. Because then when we find ourselves defenseless as our hearts become exploited, we wonder where we went wrong?

Who decides its fate? Who decides the direction? what constitutes who has the "power" in a relationship? Is one always held above the other?

a. the one who bases her every decision around what her man will think, the one who does not go somewhere because her man doesn't let her, the one who asks her man if what she is wearing is okay before walking out of the house, the one who will cater to her man not in a loving way like destiny's child meant, but in the puppy dog way where you are a servant behind him picking up after him---well then, maybe it's time to find your voice. Search deep inside for your inner-strength and have the confidence to stand up for your beliefs and opinions. Get some self -respect because while you may claim you have it, you don't. This relationship involves you, which means you are equally as important as your partner. If you truly believe you "aren't good enough" for him - leave.. that kind of attitude isn't doing either of you any good.

b. if you find yourself "dominating" all relationships you become involved in, that isn't good either.
 Are you the sole bread winner, and maintaining the household together? If you are finding yourself being the main decision maker, and he not even attempting to assist, then I see this ending badly soon.

 Relationships are about two people working as a team in a single unit. Both individuals need to be actively involved in decision making. Too often we become consumed in a relationship where we have to "become one." it took me a long time but i realized that dating is not about finding your other half. dating is more about really discovering yourself and accepting that you are already whole. your man's purpose is to complement you, not complete you. I think without that equality of power in a relationship, a couple cannot function successfully. Hearts will be broken and someone will get hurt... like 95% of relationships do.

Relationships like this are damaging for someone will always end up hurt. Maybe you've been on both ends of the spectrum. I have. I had a hard time seeing where i stood. Though when I really listed out scenario by scenario, I realized I was not in a healthy relationship.

fair warning --

I try not to be spiteful.

But sometimes its the best method of revenge, and I will say it right now I can be a very vengeful person when it comes to me and mine.

You mess with my friends, my relationship, or my family and I will tear you into a million pieces.

Most likely I won't hit you physically, not because I can't, but because I love mental games. You will become a piece I move around and force into self-destruction. If you don't want to deal with me, don't make yourself a part of my life.

Leave my name out of your conversations and out of your mind, otherwise I am involved and

I am going to finish whatever it is you started.

I don't start anything, no not at all. I don't have the time nor the motivation to care about someone else in a malicious manner, but if you involve yourself in my life I'll make the time.

sorry, but ill make your bitchassness is my entertainment for the day.

It is stated OVER and OVER... I will FUCK your shit up.

that's all, have a nice day :))

getting out of my own way..

so i've been kind of in this cloud, that more often than not decides to release a big bucket of fuck you rain droplets on my head from time to time, for about the past 2 months. granted i was going through a shitload of life changes, so of course i am bound to be stressed as haillll.

but it wasn't until recently that i figured out i am more motivated than EVER to start changing up my life now that i am finally PHYSICALLY where i want to be. after the news this weekend I realize that life is too fucking short and fragile to not be happy, do what you love and spend it the way you want to. Buy the shoes. Take the shot. Ya know!!?

SO. now instead of taking the slow and steady approach to change i normally do, i'm in the mood to that fast quickness chicago path. (youuu knowwww.) which, for me, means facing and tearing down the roadblocks i put up for myself when facing big, life altering choices over the past few years.. eek! So to get myself to where I want to be, I’m going to have to get past a few key issues..listed below are the ones i think are going to be my main ones:


exhibit a :: aversion to risk. yup, i know. ME afraid of RISK? sure when it comes to rollercoasters that are faster than the speed of light and throw you up and down and every which way possible, i am going to be alll up over and inside that (that's what she said.) But when it comes down to my own i am not a risk-tolerant person. i am always ten steps ahead because it makes me feel safe. i follow the rules because it is stable. i feel like i can’t take risks because i’ve got to pay bills, have insurance, need a guaranteed job, etc. And yet. And yet, and yet and yet. Sometimes, when you’re confronting life that is unhappy (but safe) or happy (but risky)–well, risk is starting to sound much more appealing. I can always find a way to pay my bills. but i'm starting to realize..i can’t always let my happiness and fulfillment fall at the feet of what’s safe. a fear of not being good enough. my social status was kind of weird-- i was popular enough to where everyone knew who i was, but smart enough to not get close to anyone too much & had one boyfriend straight thru high school which saved me from soooo much drama--anyway, i’ve never been the bottom of the heap, but I’m rarely at the top either. My fear of not being good enough at the things I want to do has held me at bay for a long time. why? cus it has just always been easier to stay where I am, where i know i'm OK, than it is to put myself out there and be faced with the reality that i don’t have what it takes. but honestly, I’m strong enough to face rejection. ive got enough support to face the struggle. i would rather TRY and not be enough than not try, and have regrets. Nah wah Im sayinggg?

exhibit b :: obsessive compulsive person. i absolutely need to have EVERY. LITTLE. DETAIL. in place before I can so much as begin. Maybe it’s my years of marketing plans that require every little piece to be in place before I launch. Maybe it’s the obsessive, detail person in me coming out. Or maybe it’s just a stall tactic. But I always feel like I have to have every little tiny thing worked out before I can so much as begin. I have to have it perfect before I can let it go into the world. Which has its place, admittedly. I’m never going to get rid of that impulse entirely. But at the same time, there are instances where just jumping in and figuring it out along the way can be a better solution. Like when you’re aching for a change in your life. Maybe now is the time to just throw some of this out into the universe and figure out the little details as I go

i've actually been feeling this for quite a while now.. but this week is what really put me in a big giant spotlight. this is my one and only life. this is it. if i'm not happy, than how will i ever be ? if i want something diff for my life, i am the ONLY person who can make it happen. which means i need to get out of my own way, tear down those stupid roadblocks, and just jump in. here’s to a life that makes me happy and fulfilled and that’s worth looking forward to. Because only I can make it that way.

death ;; you cannot avoid it.

no matter who we are, where we live, or what we do, death will touch all of us in some way or another. although there is a lot to learn and understand about death-- much more than i can everrr express in this blog-- it's still important to express your feelings on death because i've learned this can help others cope with it when it may happen to them. a friend of mine recently had a close family friend die unexpectedly and it just hit me that we all take life for granted way too much. i am so happy that i am able to breathe in fresh air every day, to be able to eat what i want, do what i want, wear what i want, etc are all gifts that cannot be measured.

unfortunate as it may be, death is an inevitable part of life && we will all be touched by the reaper at some point in our lives. I, personally, am soooo blessed to not have dealt with a single close death to me that had literally touched me to the point of extreme depression. i do know that death is a difficult thing to work through though.. it leaves you feeling so empty and alone but there are a lot of ways one can find peace after a recent death of a close one. when you lose someone close to you , your senses are flooded with multiple emotions.. there's anger, denial, depression, frustration, and above all just plain sadness.

it is perfectly normal to feel anger toward the person you lost. after all, they left you alone. Someday that anger will subside and you will have overcome the frustration of loss. Sadness and grief will probably be with you for life, but they get easier to deal with over time. Even though you may feel that you cannot survive another day because the grief is so overwhelming, you can and you will. Face each day and conquer it!

many people let grief win and overtake their lives. they become consumed in their sorrow and almost cease to function. this actually becomes detrimental to their health. i jus cannot stress it enoug hthat no matter how hard it may seem, you need to move forward. i always tell the people that have lost someone close to them to jus think about what they would want. would they want you to suffer endlessly because of their lost. but when it comes down to it... only time will help you overcome the anger and will dull the pain of loss.

the reason why I really wanted to touch on this topic was because there was a recent death of a very young man this past week, and i couldnt help but think what awful timing it was. i mean, of course there is no good timing, but dealing with death of close ones I'm sure makes things a lot harder.

Rest In Paradise to all of those to have lost a loved one this year.

where were you on 9/11?

September 11th, 2001

i have been wanting to address my thoughts on this horrific day for some time now. I truly hate this time of year because I always find myself googling all of the victim's families, and sending out my prayers and condolences  if any thing, i feel honored to have a post on my blog site dedicated to all of our amazing country's heroes who had given the greatest sacrifice on September 11th, 2001.

my parents' generation will never forget where they were the moment they heard that JFK was shot.. and my generation will never forget where we were on September 11, 2001. Very unfortunate each generation has at lease one of these days in them.

I was so young around the time of the 9/11 disasters. I distinctly remember always following my brothers around..&& that morning was no different.

I went to the workout center with them, placed my headphones on my ears-- blasting 50 cent who at the time just came out with "Stunt 101" with G-Unit. I then started my run on the treadmill while trying to be the first of my girls to remember all the lyrics to the song to which we battle it out later that day at recess. (lol lames) I looked up to see the television in the corner of the room and saw what looked like an airplane that had hit a tall skyscraper. I thought to myself Hollywood was trying to market another blockbuster movie with an airplane that hit a building and it was some sort of evil character involved. I was legit waiting for the Hulk to come around the corner, or for Spider Man to come flying in attached to a web. Rolling my eyes, i continued to run on the treadmill. It never crossed my mind that it could possibly be one of our country's worse days in its history.

People began to gather around the television with faces of shock..and not interest like I was expecting. At this point, I recognized it was the World Trade Center in New York City. It wasn’t a Hollywood movie, this had actually happened. I hopped off the treadmill and headed to my brothers as fast as possible.

We ran back home which was only a few blocks away. My mom was glued to the TV. We all, like so many, wondered how this could possibly be happening. How did these planes get through? How did suicide bombers take control of an airplane? How How How? and then ... Why!!?!?!?!? Just then, we watched the second plane hit and our jaw dropped. For several minutes we were speechless. my mom said "who could do such a thing?" my dad said, “It’s Osama Bin Laden”. then the Pentagon was hit. then the World Trade Center buildings fell, one after the other. we, like all Americans, were horrified, petrified, in shock.

the airports were closed for several days. we were all still in fear and shock that our country had been attacked. i was so young to grasp what had happened.. but all i remember is seeing the wreckage of the World Trade Center on tv.. words cannot describe the feeling of watching the embers still burning months later when news coverage covered all channels of television for months to come today marks 14 years, and the pain, anger, and sadness still remain.

yet i am proud of the heroism of so many citizens on that day, proud of our country’s resilience in the wake of this horrible tragedy, and........

........ so proud to be an American.

Here are some other links if you care to get more into it && read up on other conspiracies and more back ground information on the war.

First Responder

We Always Remember

i want you to find your nearest first responder and give that person a big hug. seriously. say thank you to the cops, the fire fighters, and the emergency technicians in your area. i know we are in tha chi and not new york, but you never know what can happen. just do it cus you know they would do all the can to save you if you were trapped in a burning building. they do amazing jobs as it is, i cannot imagine a situation and tragedy like 9/11 to occur.. not just them but even a nurse, a doctor, etc.. thank them, too. being a first responder is a job, but it’s also a calling. Humanity is not lost. We have people in our society who are willing to step up, risk it all, and help during a crisis. one of those people is my very own blood brother.

we are a great country.

real eyes realize real lies

I think that we all forget how great we truly are.

I think sometimes we get caught up in how everyone else is defining us, that we forget to remember that the only thing that really matters is HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF and there is NO REASON for you to be trying to get a guys attention every single day… If he’s too blind to see what’s right in front of him, he’s not worthy of you… plain and simple, because the guy who can’t get you off his mind, the one who can tell you’re beautiful and mean it with all his heart, is the one you want.. not the one who’s with you… while he’s still looking for the next best thing. Take it form me, I am all too familiar.

i know that some times i may not look like I’m not all “put together” as I seem. Yes, everything on the outside of me is always perfectly done. But on the inside I’m truly a fucking mess at times. there is a more to me than what meets the eye. From the looks of me, it is easy to make the following assumptions:

conceited: in fact, i have more insecurities than the next girl. we all do. Does that mean I have to let the world know it? No.  i hold my head up high && come off confident because i am very confident in my knowledge, and ability to accept the fact that I am who I am. I cannot obsess over unrealistic expectations.

know-it-all: i always just give out enough information. (i never disclose it all, that would be my ultimate defeat.)  i am DEEPER than you think. I have been through it all, and therefore help those I know are heading down the path I was on. If I had someone telling me the way at that age I would've very much appreciated it. If you would like to contradict me, I'm game. I can most likely figure you out within 5 minutes of having a conversation with you

Once I do, I thirst for YOU  to figure ME out. I believe myself to be genuine and I would never betray the ones I love. I value my family and those who are REAL. I am constantly thinking and I love to write poetry. i have Loved... Lost... and Learned. (( the three things that every soul should feel. )) i yearn for those that put a smile on my face. I crave for the one that will give to me what I will give to those that give back.

for the past several years i've pretty much kept to myself. too much circulation makes the price go down, if ya catch my drift. The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.

You must learn when to leave.

Create value through scarcity.. then when you reappear--everyone will be like "wooooww you look amazing!" i've never really accepted the roles that society foists on me. i've recreated myself by forging a new identity-- one that commands attention and never bores my audience.

it took me a while to understand I am  the master of my own image as opposed to letting others define it for me. i believe by doing this my power will be enhanced  and my character will seem larger than life.