you are beautiful in your own skin

this is a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into. (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).

let me start by saying that I am 5'5'' and weigh 140lbs.

I'm pretty sure you can take one look at me and said "She is too thin", and let me tell you, in some aspects I probably am.

"why don't I have boobs like my friends do?" "why do all my bones poke out at every angle?" "where are my hips?" "why am I so skinny?"

I absolutely HATED hearing my friends say things like this about themselves..but i realized i was right there doing the same. I'd also like to point out, I in no way, shape, or form have ever had an eating disorder, those of you who know me, will know I eat whenever I like and whatever I like. ...yet why was I so incredibly skinny?

The answer here is simply "metabolism". my metabolism is what i'd like to call "super metabolism". For those of you who don't know what metabolism is, it's basically a chemical reaction that happens in all your organs to help maintain life.--in non scientific forms, the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. having a high metabolism means that it is impossible for me to put on weight, and maintain that added weight. my body breaks down fat and burns calories at a fast rate. Now I know for a fact, that many of you will be reading this thinking "Shut up, I'd absolutely LOVE to have a high metabolism"..but let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

For years, all through my teens, I tried to put on weight, it was almost impossible. It also made me feel like crap. think the reverse of a diet. I was essentially eating fatty foods to try and put weight on; therefore feeling groggy, tired and miserable. i know that is pretty stupid of me to do, but you don't think clearly when in that state of mind. you always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever really thinks of that.

"Are you anorexic", "you need to put some weight on", "You are a bag of bones", "why are you so boney", "why are you so skinny", "get some meat on your bones", "are you okay?"

all this you would kind of expect from curious school children, but what astonishes me, is that every day adults even still ask me these things. Yet people still think it's okay to say these things? would you say these things to someone who was noticeably larger than the average person? would you tell a mother of multiple children who is trying to lose weight she needs a lot more to go even if it was the truth? no, you just don't. it's not nice and can truly damage a person in ways you would never expect.

"Are you obese?", "You need to lose weight", "You are a big bag of fat", "why are you so fat?", "You need to get some meat off those bones of yours", "Are you..okay?"

i hate that we have a BODY MASS INDEX, that we must all live by? who cares if i'm "slightly" below average, who cares if you're slightly above it? As long as you feel happy in the skin you are in, is that not all that matters? Yes, I may seem smaller and skinnier than the average person, but I'm happy at the moment.

I recently got upset by someone i know approaching me and saying "you are SO skinny". For a start...how the hell do you even respond to something like that? I think I just stood with my mouth open, wondering what on earth made it okay to say something like that? What was going on in this person's mind? I eventually just walked away. I shouldve said "Omg you are SO FAT!" But... Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do. i think commenting on anybodies weight is unacceptable. Who are you to judge someone by the size of them?

"That person is fat, they must eat nothing but mcdonalds and sit on their arse all day"
"That person is skinny, she probably has an eating disorder and needs help"

It's really not fair. nobody ever takes into account genes, metabolism, bone structure, medical problems. there are thousands of reasons people are how they are, and why people are the size they are. the above statements may be true in some cases, but for the majority, it's probably not.
soooo is calling someone skinny really acceptable? or, do you agree with me that it's just as insensitive as calling someone fat? As a naturally skinny person, I can tell you that it's not very nice being called out for being "too skinny", especially as i tried so hard to put weight on, and wanted so desperately to be "of average size" as I was growing up. It's a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address.

moral of the story --I don't really think it's ever acceptable to comment on anybody's weight, skinny or fat. Why should you ever be allowed an opinion on someone else's body or way of life? You can think it in your head, but the minute you open your mouth it becomes very dangerous, that is of course unless you are opening your mouth to give a compliment, by all means do this. :)

If YOU are happy with the way you look, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know you will make you happy.

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. It would be a very boring place if this wasn't the case.

♥

Walk Better In Heels ! xx

Hello my lovely readers!

So it doesn't take a genius to know that any girl loves a pair of heels. it's like something every girl should own a pair of, and is definitely something every girl should have at least worn at one time or another in their lives. therefore this blog is about a few tips of mine i have for girls to tackle the only bad thing about heels ---- learning how to walk in them!!

so if you’re a ballet flats and flip-flops kind of girl, or even rocking Chuck Taylors every day-- you will come across one time that you will need to wear heels. Perhaps your BFF just called and needs you to stand up in her wedding, and that requires, *gasp*, HEELS! lol well, calm down chicadee. There is nothing to be afraid of.... for if you read on, you will find out how you can successfully walk down the aisle or down the street without hurting yourself, & even better --- to look good while you do it!!! =]

GOOD POSTURE.



As with any project you need to start with a good foundation. One of the keys to walking in high heels is good, strong, solid posture. Make sure your body is relaxed and your arms are loose and at your sides since they will help you balance as you walk. You should be standing up straight, your head high and your feet facing forward.



Get Good well fitting Shoes

It doesn't matter if those shoes look good on you, if they don’t fit right you are going to look more like Bambi on ice rather than Beyonce at the Grammy’s. Start off slow with a moderately sized heel (1-2 inches) and then as you grow accustomed to them, up the size. Try to break your shoes in BEFORE you have to wear them. So they are better fitted to YOUR feet & you don’t wind up with blisters at the end of your night! Remember that you can always make your shoes smaller, but you can’t EVER make your feet smaller.

Make sure they have all the fixings

Your shoes a bit loose? Purchase padding for the inside heel and pad of your shoe, that will help them fit better. Soles a bit slippery? You can buy sole grippers at your local shoe store that will add the perfect amount of traction right where you need it. You should also consider buying gel insoles for a little extra boost to your heels comfort level

                                           

Slow and Steady wins the race

Relax your body. Take one step forward, leading with your hips, first toe then heel, distributing your weight as evenly as possible. I do it this way, but others would tell you heel to toe. Try to keep your stride small, making sure you are picking up your feet, not just shuffling them forward. Make sure that your feet are facing forward, legs are close together, and your knees aren’t bending any further than they normally would. As you grow accustomed to wearing heels, your body will naturally up your stride or speed.






Beware the road ahead

Even experienced heel walkers can have some major difficulties on various surfaces, so try to be aware of the surface you are walking on, and adjust your steps accordingly. Super slippery surface? Tiled flooring or boardwalks? Your heel could get stuck inbetween the boards so make sure that your stepping on the flat solid parts of the board. Cobblestones? Use extra caution as the stones are usually not big enough to put your entire foot on at once, and tend to be irregularly shaped.

There you have it ladies!!!!

my few tips to help you walk better in heels. this is mainly for girls who are just starting out. i am sure every girl will have differing thoughts, tips, opinions, etc and i would like it if you'd post those in a comment below (you dont need an account here to leave a comment btw) but these are just from my own experience as i have been wearing heels every day since i was a freshmen in high school.



xox rica

..dead & gone...

Love is really like a roller coaster because for as many ups and downs you two have went through, you're still ready to throw up after all is said and done.

I have been thinking about break ups, and how females deal with them these days. no longer do i see girls crying about the ones they loved, but now in this anger phase and an almost vengeful manner on a road to fuck him over as hard as possible.. i mean, i know it almost embarrasses some girls to say that they loved their ex, but hey, we got to kiss a few frogs to find our prince right? sucks when the guy has the personality of a toad and the looks of a prince though. But if he's stupid enough to walk away, you have to be smart enough to let go right?

So it starts out as this.. while with him.. you swear the song "With You" by Jessica Simpson was your anthem. That's how happy you were. Everyone knew how insanely in love you were with him, and how he was your world. you cut off a lot of relationships with people for him, and put him in the center of your world. you went against my family for him. you would do anything to spend one minute with him.. ya'll were so happy. Then... **drum roll** everything came crashing down. && i swear this crash was bigger than the world trade center buildings collapsing. now your theme song at this time was "Why do I stay in Love?" by Mariah Carey.

Things just got wayyy out of hand. You cant believe the shit you were taking, and it always pissed you off to hear people tell you "oh you deserve better leave leave leave" blah blah blah. seriously. you know this. but at the time, you didn't have options. but the truth was, you were scared. no forget that, you were terrified_ of everything! you were so scared of walking out of that house believing you would never feel again.. believing there would never be another man for you.. believing you could never share all about you with someone else as you did with him.. not only that, but you just felt like you had no one because of all the burned bridges.

So of course, this breakup has to be the most challenging thing in the world. Is there a such thing as an easy break up? not in this world. Then you started thinking about him. family knew it all along, but you purposely ignored them. didnt want to believe it. and you still don't. but you have to. He tried to control the fuck out of you because he lacked stability elsewhere in his life. Because you loved him, you let him do this. Because he was the first and all youve ever knowm; you allowed it. you considered his jealousy his way of "Caring" but really he did not know what he had.

i think break ups are the biggest lessons to learn in life, they build at least 50% of your character, your friends don't understand your position and you didn't understand theirs. i think the funny thing about breakups is they point out what we didn't even know we had, but don't give us the option of going back into battle armed with that knowledge. if u knew what you know now, you would do a few things differently. you wouldn't have been such a fool to change every aspect of your life to suit his wants and needs. don't regret it because, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"..

So after the split, youre stuck listening to all the breakup songs in the world.. hence my list of theme songs within this blog alone. lol i swear if breakups never existed, the music industry would go bankrupt.  Of course, you incessantly cry yourself stupid just figuring out what and how things got sooo bad.. where did it start? was it something you said? was it something we both are guilty of? how did it escalate so high and neither of us notice? but you know what girly?  

time. 

they say its never on our side but when it comes down to it -- there's a time for everything.. There's a time to speak up, and a time to be silent... there's a time to learn and a time to teach.. there's a time to listen and a time to be heard.. there's a time to LOSE and a time to gain.. and that time is now. Which is why you should no longer rebound your decision. don't go on saying you gave him up-- cus YOU did not give up ANYTHING-- he gave YOU up by treating you the way he did. he didn't think you'd leave, and took advantage of it and pushed it the furthest extent he could.. til u just snapped. your bond broke in two, beyond repair.

then you find yourself looking at all of your photos with him. pictures are what you have when you have lost everything else.. then it creeps into your dreams (or nightmares rather) but when u give up both the photos and the dreams.. the only thing left is bliss. so why do u still feel so shitty? i think i can take a guess.. because trying to forget about someone who was your world for years and years is like trying to remember somebody you never met. impossible. :( how can this be? I was always the girl that was going to be married before everyone else, settle down.  i never got into the crazy single lifestyle.. i liked being tied down, why? because it felt safe. I was stable in life. i liked knowing what my plans were. i guess i was putting things backwards a bit.

pain is inevitable :: suffering is optional.

I always thought I was one of the lucky ones, ya know when the love was like lightning, short lived and intense. You spent days daydreaming and doodling his name over every inch of your notebook. Just thinking about holding hands was enough to give you butterflies. Then one way or another, he breaks your heart, and you feel every single shattered piece tearing you apart. For about a week. Then the next crush comes along and life is amazing again. I never went through the make up break up shit. it was different for me. him and i were together going strong for 8yrs years. Now it’s more like thunder. It starts off with an explosion and then slowly wears itself out. When you really want it, you can only hear it faintly in the distance, over some other town. And when you just want it to stop, it seems to linger on forever.. why can't it just be over with? do break ups really have to be this way?

there's always room for improvement, and Lord knows I have definitely got to realize what i can deserve, and that's more than an immature asshole. i now vow to always remember myself and what I want in every situation. I would respect myself enough to consider my own feelings. I’d learn how listen to gut feelings and realize that that’s my heart trying to give me a hint on where to go. I would never ever again allow someone to disrespect, neglect, or make me feel inferior.

I am done feeling inferior, considering I had a firm hand in all of it.

Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”, and she’s right. 

I had the power to ensure that I did not feel second best, but I had not yet realized where that power lied nor how to use it.

a few of my favs lately < 3

[UPDATED]*

hello beauties!!

I am posting a quick review of a few products i am loving, and so happy to recommend to all my beauties! please continue reading and let me know if any of you have tried any of these products, and what your opinion on each is! i hope all of you are doing well. i have been so busy with day to day life I have not even had time to get on my blog nor comment back to any of my lovely readers! ill get to it soon, i promise! <3

 Aveeno Shampoo, Conditioner, Body Wash, && Moisturizing Lotion set xx

I've always been a fan of Aveeno products -- their wide range of products at that. I love the baby line they have-- it feels so much more gentle on my skin and hair. i wanted to review them because I am just so thoroughly satisfied with them. I've been really happy with how it moisturizes, but I now have a whole new appreciation for the product as it seriously makes my skin feels smooth all day. Their shampoo and conditioner moisturize great as well. However I will stick to my Redken products as those treat more than just dry hair. The baby lotion seems to be the only brand that doesn't irritate my eczema.

 4 out of 5 smooches xx

 Bio Oil [PurCellin Oil] xx

 

 I  bought this because of all the buzz about it. It is quite expensive for the little bottle-- but that just told me it must really work! lol I have a number of stretch marks all over my thighs and ass and nothing else worked in clearing them up. I used this for a couple of months and I definitely notice a difference in my scars. It works very very well for that. A+. I will continue to use it and let you know my progress after 6+ months. my only issue is because the stretch marks on my ass and thighs, I cant sit down nor wear any clothing until it dries which can be a huge inconveniance at times.

3 our of 5 smooches xx 

 The Body Shop Shower Cream xx

I am obsessed with the smell of these SO much! I seriously spend a minute just smelling it. I cannot get enough of this fragrance line. After using the shower cream I follow up with the body lotion and body mist to make it last longer. The shower cream leaves me soft and smelling great even after drying off. The only downside is that the suds don't last too long so I have to use more than I would like. In this case, the bottle should be a little bigger. Other than that, it is a great product.

4 out of 5 smooches xx

 Viva La Juicy Perfume xx

I am just in love with this fantastic scent! Personally, the scent does not fade quickly and it is perfect for day and night. It is a very feminie scent and I am totally in love with it. Also,the bottle is very cute and looks great placed on a vanity, shelf, wherever. I would recommend it to everyone looking for a new fresh, feminine, scent. 


5 out of 5 smooches xx

Garniers Caffiene Eye Roll xx

Garniers new Caffeine Eye Roll on with a touch of concealer. My under-eyes are definitely one of my key problem areas and I like the fact this product not only conceals dark circles, but works to reduce them. Ive heard a good way of reducing discoloration around the eye area is to tap the skin around your eyes gently with your finger tips to stimulate the circulation, and I expect the roller ball on this product works in the same way.

I`ve been using it for a couple of weeks now, and have yet to notice big difference. I do, however, love the concealer touch as it makes me look more "awake" and "fresh" in the mornings when I haven`t had much sleep the night prior.

3 out of 5 smooches.

My New Chi Ionic Chameleon Hair Dryer xx

I went to Ulta, and came across a variety of ones--I seriously had no idea where to even start. I knew I wanted the ionic ones though. CHI also uses what`s called FAR Infrared technology. What this pretty much does is dries the hair from inside out due to its ionic charge. The negative ions produced by the CHI hair dryer diffuse water molecules into microfine particles improving moisture, balance and shine, reducing frizz, and eliminating static electricity. Thus leaving my hair super duper silky smooth.

I didn`t even go to my straightener afterwards becuse it was sooo smooth. Overall, I am thoroughy impressed with it. I`ve read a lot of reviews and some say they blow out on you within months. I hope that isn`t the case for me as I spent $179.99 on it!!

5 out of 5 smooches xx

Ed Hardy Hearts && Daggers Perfume xx

I am OBSESSED with Ed HARDY`s Hearts && Daggers perfume. I bought the combo with the body lotion with it as pictured above, and use it every single day.

I am not a big fan of Ed Hardy`s trashy clothing, but their perfumes are to.die.for. I have bought two different kinds this one and the born wild one, and both are uniquely different but still smell soo amazing and yummy!

If you`re looking for a new scent to kick start summer that is tangy, yummy, and sweet -- this is definitely the perfume for you. I get sooo many compliments every single day. One guy even smelled me from the McDonald`s drive thru window, and wanted to know what I was wearing so he can buy it for his girl friend!! LOL

Urban Decay Naked Pallet

Everybody wants to look good NAKED! Far from a group of boring beige shadows, Naked Palette's long, lean, seductive case is packed with TWELVE gorgeous bronze-hued neutrals, and includes Urban Decay's pro-quality Good Karma Shadow Brush. "You can look great NAKED!" I love the shade names! delicate champagnes to dark, gritty gunmetal, with names like Dark horse, Virgin and Buck. Urban Decay also included a range of textures: everything from glitter to shimmer to matte.

This is a shadow palette EVERYONE can use, and a truly spectacular gift. Experiment with office-appropriate neutrals, summertime bronzy looks, or sultry smokiness. With such a diversity of neutral shades at your fingertips, there's more to neutral than meets the eye.

Tangle Free!

I have two of these a black and purple. I have natural hair so it's the best things I've found to detangle my hair without pulling out my hair at the same time!

I bought it from Sally's for $9.99 best deal ever!! Would highly recommend it! The only down fall is after a while the bristles do tend to bend, but that can also be to the thickness of my hair!

Beauty Blender Sponge

I cannot even begin to explain how amazing this little sponge is. It's so awesome & cute I could cuddle with it! (JUST KIDDING.. but it's great).

I've bought knock off versions at TJ MAXX & they even sell them at Wal Mart now too, but none of them come close to the real thang. Simply soak your BB in water, squeeze all excess water out & you're ready to go. Apply  concealer & gently dab BB repeatedly over to blend.

Most sponges will absorb up all your make up resulting in uneven application. Because of the soft lightweight material & dampness of the BB sponge, makeup repels off the sponge & directly onto your skin.

 Concealer brushes can do the same as flat foundation brushes mentioned above (streaky lines.. ain't nobody got time for that).

Too Faced Brow Envy Kit

Hands down, one of my favorite products! I never worried about my eyebrows before, until seeing a beauty guru on YouTube talking about her eye brow kit, and so after a quick search under my favorite make up brand (too faced, duh) I came across this baby, and never looked back! It has every thing you need for the most uhMAYzing eye brows ever! to pluck those few over grown strands, to fill in the inner point, or what ever it is you may need- this kit has got you covered!! this complete kit is filled with all the essentials needed to shape, define, fill, and set brows. Includes tweezers, three stencils, angled brush and brow comb. With this kit you can customize color with two shades of brow powder and hold brows in place with the conditioning wax.

MAC Pigment

I would choose a MAC pigment over an eye shadow any day, any week, and any life time. These pigments are definitely one of the few things I can't live without. My very first pigment from MAC is Shimmer-Time and it's a really pretty peachy, white color. It works great as a highlight color, for the inner corners or for the eyelid if youre really going for a ore subtle natural look. 

There is just so much product in the canister as well! It is definitely worth the money especially if you are very avid in using and perhaps, even just collecting makeup. And using it with water really makes the color pop-it really is an amazing, versatile product that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

As for using the pigment, it can get messy. What I usually do is I take off the little clear covering that covers the pigment and use my brush to pick up the pigment off of it instead of dipping my brush straight into the pigment. That way I have more control over how much product I use and it doesn't waste anything.

Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream SPF 35

This is definitely one of my favorite creams. It feels amazing on my skin. I use it every day. The only negative I can think of is it's price.. kinda pricey for the budget I have. I usually spend more money on products I like Mascara or foundation.

A five-in-one set secret for achieving flawless skin on camera and beyond. This multitasking tinted cream formula with SPF 35 hydrates, primes, perfects, controls oil, and protects for flawless skin on set and beyond. Formulated with emollients and optical pearl pigments, this BB Cream gives skin a glowing, ethereal look and provides a hydrating veil for the complexion to maintain moisture on the surface of the skin. With its ultra-smoothing finish, it instantly re-texturizes to create a smooth canvas. Especially when worn under foundation, it enhances the wear of makeup for up to eight hours. Ideal even for oily complexions, this expert formula with UVA/UVB protection helps inhibit oil to prevent the complexion from getting shiny throughout the day without the typical chalky matte finish.

L'Oréal EverCreme Cleansing Conditioner

My pros: It smells great! It leaves my hair nice and smooth, tangle free when I get out of the shower. My cons: It's a pretty small size, and I hate the dispenser... It's as if I have to squeeze the bottle with alllll my might to get a bit out..

I shower every single day, and wash my hair with shampoo, conditioner, and a few rinse products every day as well. I have a few Pantene weekly treatments I use too. This means my hair was on oil overload with producing because it had to compensate for the amount of stripping I was doing.

Therefore, within the first few days of using this product, my scalp wasn't aware of the new products I was using, and still use to producing the amount of oil it has been. So it took a few days to get used to to say the least...

However after about a week, I was so very pleased with the results. My hair felt amazing, looked amazing, and wasn't too soft/silky to the point where it didn't stay in the places I styled it in. With a bit of hair spray, and a few pumps of my Pantene Voluminous Pump, My volume lasted way into the evening from the morning shower I took the same day.

I highly recommend it-- just be patient and wait a full week before making your decision, and be sure to do the right application and make sure you are getting your Full head covered. Do not lather, as lathering is bad.

MAKE UP FOR EVER Sculpting Kit

i love these Sculpting Kits. These kits are comprised of two complimentary micronized powders that you can use to contour, sculpt and correct/change a face shape. In my opinion, contouring is an art unto itself, and there really are a limited amount of products out there that concentrate on this specific area of application.

You can create a very soft sculpted appearance or you can use these powders. I actually only own a couple sculpting kits; but rarely use them.  I just feel I have a very sculpted face already; so only use this when I have the extra time to do so.

However because the powder is so finely milled, wonderfully pigmented and easy to blend; these save you time like you'd not believe. Even the heaviest handed individual would find it hard to apply too much of this product: It's so wonderfully lightweight and blend-able.

The only possible drawback, it's a bit pricey: $45. In my opinion, it's worth every penny. I have yet to come by a Make Up For Ever product that wasn't phenomenal.

Matte Long Lasting Lipsticks

Dupe of MAC Lipsticks? Rimmel Lasting Finish by Kate Moss $4.97 !!! I picked this up at CVS the other day after making Jeff wait a half hour in the car for me on a "quick" makeup run. And I have to say, I am very impressed with this lipstick-- creamy & yet matte, stays on ALL DAY. No touch ups needed. I see myself purchasing the whole collection in the near future. Double snaps! to Rimmel & Kate Moss.

thanks for reading baby dolls!