Tuesday, January 27, 2015

you are beautiful in your own skin

this is a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into. (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).
let me start by saying that I am 5'5'' and weigh 160lbs. These past few months I've been gaining weight; however I have been working on my flirty girl fitness as well so it has kept the gained weight at a minimum which luckily for me has beeen pushed towards my breasts  - where I really needed it!  It's even better on my period days.. implants for free for five days ;D

before this weight gain, I'm pretty sure you would have taken one look at me and said "She is too thin", and let me tell you, in some aspects I probably was. Despite what I saw, I had a small B-cup chest and my waist was so tiny it made my lower half look way bigger than it really was. It was as if I had a Pear shaped body, and that's not exactly what I'd call attractive.

"why don't I have boobs like my friends do?" "why do all my bones poke out at every angle?" "where are my hips?" "why am I so skinny?"

I absolutely HATED hearing my friends say things like this about themselves..but i realized i was right there doing the same. I'd also like to point out, I in no way, shape, or form have ever had an eating disorder, those of you who know me, will know I eat whenever I like and whatever I like. instead of small meals every three hours, i ate full course meals twice a day. i love eating-- i eat when im sad, mad, upset, any emotion it is i feel i can eat it. lol it didn't help my boyfriend is an amazing cook and loved cooking for me, and also made killer drinks!

...yet why was I so incredibly skinny?
The answer here is simply "metabolism". my metabolism is what i'd like to call "super metabolism". For those of you who don't know what metabolism is, it's basically a chemical reaction that happens in all your organs to help maintain life.--in non scientific forms, the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. having a high metabolism means that it is impossible for me to put on weight, and maintain that added weight. my body breaks down fat and burns calories at a fast rate. Now I know for a fact, that many of you will be reading this thinking "Shut up rica, I'd absolutely LOVE to have a high metabolism"..but let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

For years, all through my teens, I tried to put on weight, it was almost impossible. It also made me feel like crap. think the reverse of a diet. I was essentially eating fatty foods to try and put weight on; therefore feeling groggy, tired and miserable. i know that is pretty stupid of me to do, but you don't think clearly when in that state of mind. you always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever really thinks of that.

"Are you anorexic", "you need to put some weight on", "You are a bag of bones", "why are you so boney", "why are you so skinny", "get some meat on your bones", "are you okay?"

all this you would kind of expect from curious school children, but what astonishes me, is that every day adults even still ask me these things. People I don't know do it the most. quite strange as now that i have put on the almost 15lb weight gain, my boobs (of a generous size), hips, and this phat bottom ive always had always made me think i have filled out quite noticeably. Yet people still think it's okay to say these things? would you say these things to someone who was noticeably larger than the average person? would you tell a mother of multiple children who is trying to lose weight she needs a lot more to go even if it was the truth? no, you just don't. it's not nice and can truly damage a person in ways you would never expect.

"Are you obese?", "You need to lose weight", "You are a big bag of fat", "why are you so fat?", "You need to get some meat off those bones of yours", "Are you..okay?"

i hate that we have a BODY MASS INDEX, that we must all live by? who cares if i'm "slightly" below average, who cares if you're slightly above it? As long as you feel happy in the skin you are in, is that not all that matters? Yes, I may seem smaller and skinnier than the average person, but I'm happy at the moment.

I recently got upset by someone i know approaching me and saying "you are SO skinny". For a start...how the hell do you even respond to something like that? I think I just stood with my mouth open, wondering what on earth made it okay to say something like that? What was going on in this person's mind? I eventually just walked away. I shouldve said "Omg you are SO FAT!" But... Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do. This person then returned to say "You need to put some weight on..no seriously". uhmm excuse me !? legit i was at first very embarrassed, and secondly ready to slap the bitch. would this person have said the same thing to a fat person? more than likely not because a. the fat person would probably plow the shit out of her lol and b. because calling someone fat is seen as an insult, but when it comes to skinny people..it is apparently acceptable? I think commenting on anybodies weight is unacceptable. Who are you to judge someone by the size of them?

"That person is fat, they must eat nothing but mcdonalds and sit on their arse all day"
"That person is skinny, she probably has an eating disorder and needs help"

It's really not fair. nobody ever takes into account genes, metabolism, bone structure, medical problems. there are thousands of reasons people are how they are, and why people are the size they are. the above statements may be true in some cases, but for the majority, it's probably not.
soooo is calling someone skinny really acceptable? or, do you agree with me that it's just as insensitive as calling someone fat? As a naturally skinny person, I can tell you that it's not very nice being called out for being "too skinny", especially as i tried so hard to put weight on, and wanted so desperately to be "of average size" as I was growing up. It's a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address.

moral of the story --I don't really think it's ever acceptable to comment on anybody's weight, skinny or fat. Why should you ever be allowed an opinion on someone else's body or way of life? You can think it in your head, but the minute you open your mouth it becomes very dangerous, that is of course unless you are opening your mouth to give a compliment, by all means do this. :)

If YOU are happy with the way you look, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know you will make you happy.

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. It would be a very boring place if this wasn't the case.

xox rica


  1. AnonymousMay 03, 2012

    wow thank u so much for this

  2. AnonymousMay 25, 2012

    this is the best blog post on blogger


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