Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Self Reflection

this year has opened my eyes to so much, i do not even know where to begin. i am just so much happier, so much more .. free. i feel like such a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. i am finally that person i've been dying to be. last year was full of setting goals, and wanting them-- but not having the motivation nor the finances to meet them. it's like Tracy DiMarco explains .. "it's like my dream dress. i see it in the window, i want it so bad.. but when i reach out to grab it-- i just can't.." word for word what my year last year was like.

When I began dating my new boyfriend, I was more determined than ever to get my shit together. I wanted to start off by finding my self-respect, and my self-confidence. With that being said, I created a post on listing things i love about myself. i will make a list on both mental/emotional things I love, and physical things I love. Then things I dislike about myself. Both emotional and physical as well. My point is to list everything out-- get it all in print. Then one by one start finding solutions to things i dislike about myself, and to eventually have nothing to list under that list. I know I'm hoping for a lot but hey, we got to start somewhere right? =]

** i recommend any of my readers to really do this as well. you might think it's ridiculous, but when you actually read things you like or hate about yourself-- it's as if it hits you that much harder. maybe it's just me. **

((disclaimer: now girls, this cannot be something you know you can't change. for instance, your nose or the size of your chest. plastic surgery is not a solution i want you to pursue. && if you think it is, then truly ask yourself who you're doing it for and why you want it done?))

i am focusing on gaining more self esteem as I have recently come to the conclusion that I fall into bad habits because of the way I view myself. I am trying to think of new ways to improve my views, and one of them being the creation of this blog. obviously, i'm the first in noticing negative things on myself. i criticize myself so much so often, and i desperately want/need to just stop it! i should be more than grateful for everything i do and have.. here is my list, i think every girl should do one-- so you better get started. :D

1. i love the fact that i am a people person. i can get along with just about any one, my personality is so diverse. I am great at entertaining, putting a genuine smile on someone's face is such a rewarding feeling. i can make even the grumpiest of people laugh.. even if it is a laughing AT me laugh.. ;)

2. i love that i am the first person to offer the shirt off my back to the ones i love, and the ones that i think deserve it. i don't mind sharing my last piece of gum nor giving the last pair of $100.00 Cha Cha knee-high boots (i so desperately wanted forever until I saved up enough to get them) to the teenage girl going to her first costume high school party this year.. why? because it puts a smile on their face. As stated above, that truly warms my heart.

3. i love that i am able to differentiate between people who appreciate my generosity and people who take my kindness for weakness & try to take advantage of me without thinking i notice. i have a knack for reading people down to their cores. This isn't always the case, and sometimes I allow people to do so because I feel for them, and know it's not hurting me to help them even if they are taking advantage -- but that never lasts very long.

4. I love that I wake up super positive!

Now what I want is for all of my readers to do the same. You will be surprised with what you may find out about yourself. You will begin to realize "hey, I do have some killer legs. Maybe I'll sport those capri pants I've been neglecting." or "hey, i can get a job--and will refuse to let my background define who I am, whether in my eye's or in my future employer's eyes."

Go do it ladies!!

-Fee xx

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