... didn't work out to well to say the least, haha.
i found myself wanting to burst at the seams with taking over the conversations, lol, so i made sure to control myself and keep myself quiet and give her all the attention to express herself as much as possible. the reason why i decided to do this was because i was thinking about my past few conversations with friends and always notice i am always the one to talk and talk.. it's not that i am annoying and only talk about me me me, it's just that a lot of my friends come to me with questions and expect me to tell them all types of answers.. and i am by no means a know it all, but a lot of my friends seem to think so and therefore i am always forced to give my best advice and opinions as possible which leads me to be the main speaker throughout the entire conversation. i realized this isn't a good quality to have, and i wanted to see how i'd do if i were not the main speaker, and in fact kept most of what i would normally say to myself. well, haha, i didn't do so good. i found myself more focused on controlling my mouth than on what was being said. i found myself having to say "what" " huh" more often than i should have, and so i am not still determined to work on this and soon enough be able to conquer this task haha
I also received a wonderful "just because, long time no see" present that I just can not stop looking at. I was given a painting, not of an animal or a place, but of myself.
On one side, there is me holding one of my books, dressed in a conservative button up shirt and sweater. On the other side, I am donning a sexy school girl outfit equipped with a garter and some fantastic cleavage, given my current situation and all this was a pretty important factor =) I can not express how touched I was by how much work was put into it and I am so thrilled to add it to my collection of erotic pictures.
One degenerate can paint. the other can write. && we both look like we belong to two seperate social groups. Is this really possible?
My painting is not the only work of art I laid my eyes on this past weekend. We were wandering around Barnes and Noble the other day and a book caught my eye.
Suicide Girls: Beauty Redefined.
It was larger than all of the other paperbacks in its section and I was immediately intrigued by its cover. A punky looking cartoon girl with a very sexy smirk on her face. I knew it had to be photography of some sort by the shape of the book so I wasted no time taking a look. What I saw within the pages completely blew me away. Suicide Girls: Beauty Redefined turned out to be a collection of erotic photography, but it was not your typical female models. Most of these girls were covered in tattoos and had piercings in spots I didn’t know one could pierce... lol
They were dark with the occasional blast of color, either in the hair, make up, or background, and best of all, they were completely naked. And sexy. Unbelievably sexy. I was then asked if I would pose for anything like that. My answer… in a heart beat. However, there are certain things that would have to fall into place before I would be able to take on such an endeavor.
First of all, I would have to be sure my reputation could take such a blow.. haha but then again at this point who am i realy rtying to impress any more?? a photograph can follow you everywhere though.. and second of all, I am not as bad ass as the Suicide Girls. I have no tats, but have always wanted a small, modest tattoo and I think a lot of make up overwhelms my features, so i don't wear much. Of course I can rock out in front of a camera so I think I would be OK regardless of the rather “bare” exterior... hehe
If I ever did something like this, I would want people to have the same reaction I did when I opened the book. & that is.. she is not just a nude body. seh is a rule breaker.. a symbol of strength . radiant .fierce as tyra banksss. she spreads her legs for the sake of art. for the sake of beauty. && those uncovered lips are shouting fuck you. while the other set of lips are screaming fuck me. it's art. she is aware of the consequences, yet takes the risk. i guess it's because nothing is as tragic as a girl that gives in..