death ;; you cannot avoid it.

no matter who we are, where we live, or what we do, death will touch all of us in some way or another. although there is a lot to learn and understand about death-- much more than i can everrr express in this blog-- it's still important to express your feelings on death because i've learned this can help others cope with it when it may happen to them. a friend of mine recently had a close family friend die unexpectedly and it just hit me that we all take life for granted way too much. i am so happy that i am able to breathe in fresh air every day, to be able to eat what i want, do what i want, wear what i want, etc are all gifts that cannot be measured.

unfortunate as it may be, death is an inevitable part of life && we will all be touched by the reaper at some point in our lives. I, personally, am soooo blessed to not have dealt with a single close death to me that had literally touched me to the point of extreme depression. i do know that death is a difficult thing to work through though.. it leaves you feeling so empty and alone but there are a lot of ways one can find peace after a recent death of a close one. when you lose someone close to you , your senses are flooded with multiple emotions.. there's anger, denial, depression, frustration, and above all just plain sadness.

it is perfectly normal to feel anger toward the person you lost. after all, they left you alone. Someday that anger will subside and you will have overcome the frustration of loss. Sadness and grief will probably be with you for life, but they get easier to deal with over time. Even though you may feel that you cannot survive another day because the grief is so overwhelming, you can and you will. Face each day and conquer it!

many people let grief win and overtake their lives. they become consumed in their sorrow and almost cease to function. this actually becomes detrimental to their health. i jus cannot stress it enoug hthat no matter how hard it may seem, you need to move forward. i always tell the people that have lost someone close to them to jus think about what they would want. would they want you to suffer endlessly because of their lost. but when it comes down to it... only time will help you overcome the anger and will dull the pain of loss.

the reason why I really wanted to touch on this topic was because there was a recent death of a very young man this past week, and i couldnt help but think what awful timing it was. i mean, of course there is no good timing, but dealing with death of close ones I'm sure makes things a lot harder.

Rest In Paradise to all of those to have lost a loved one this year.

where were you on 9/11?

September 11th, 2001

i have been wanting to address my thoughts on this horrific day for some time now. I truly hate this time of year because I always find myself googling all of the victim's families, and sending out my prayers and condolences  if any thing, i feel honored to have a post on my blog site dedicated to all of our amazing country's heroes who had given the greatest sacrifice on September 11th, 2001.

my parents' generation will never forget where they were the moment they heard that JFK was shot.. and my generation will never forget where we were on September 11, 2001. Very unfortunate each generation has at lease one of these days in them.

I was so young around the time of the 9/11 disasters. I distinctly remember always following my brothers around..&& that morning was no different.

I went to the workout center with them, placed my headphones on my ears-- blasting 50 cent who at the time just came out with "Stunt 101" with G-Unit. I then started my run on the treadmill while trying to be the first of my girls to remember all the lyrics to the song to which we battle it out later that day at recess. (lol lames) I looked up to see the television in the corner of the room and saw what looked like an airplane that had hit a tall skyscraper. I thought to myself Hollywood was trying to market another blockbuster movie with an airplane that hit a building and it was some sort of evil character involved. I was legit waiting for the Hulk to come around the corner, or for Spider Man to come flying in attached to a web. Rolling my eyes, i continued to run on the treadmill. It never crossed my mind that it could possibly be one of our country's worse days in its history.

People began to gather around the television with faces of shock..and not interest like I was expecting. At this point, I recognized it was the World Trade Center in New York City. It wasn’t a Hollywood movie, this had actually happened. I hopped off the treadmill and headed to my brothers as fast as possible.

We ran back home which was only a few blocks away. My mom was glued to the TV. We all, like so many, wondered how this could possibly be happening. How did these planes get through? How did suicide bombers take control of an airplane? How How How? and then ... Why!!?!?!?!? Just then, we watched the second plane hit and our jaw dropped. For several minutes we were speechless. my mom said "who could do such a thing?" my dad said, “It’s Osama Bin Laden”. then the Pentagon was hit. then the World Trade Center buildings fell, one after the other. we, like all Americans, were horrified, petrified, in shock.

the airports were closed for several days. we were all still in fear and shock that our country had been attacked. i was so young to grasp what had happened.. but all i remember is seeing the wreckage of the World Trade Center on tv.. words cannot describe the feeling of watching the embers still burning months later when news coverage covered all channels of television for months to come today marks 14 years, and the pain, anger, and sadness still remain.

yet i am proud of the heroism of so many citizens on that day, proud of our country’s resilience in the wake of this horrible tragedy, and........

........ so proud to be an American.

Here are some other links if you care to get more into it && read up on other conspiracies and more back ground information on the war.

First Responder

We Always Remember

i want you to find your nearest first responder and give that person a big hug. seriously. say thank you to the cops, the fire fighters, and the emergency technicians in your area. i know we are in tha chi and not new york, but you never know what can happen. just do it cus you know they would do all the can to save you if you were trapped in a burning building. they do amazing jobs as it is, i cannot imagine a situation and tragedy like 9/11 to occur.. not just them but even a nurse, a doctor, etc.. thank them, too. being a first responder is a job, but it’s also a calling. Humanity is not lost. We have people in our society who are willing to step up, risk it all, and help during a crisis. one of those people is my very own blood brother.

we are a great country.

real eyes realize real lies

I think that we all forget how great we truly are.

I think sometimes we get caught up in how everyone else is defining us, that we forget to remember that the only thing that really matters is HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF and there is NO REASON for you to be trying to get a guys attention every single day… If he’s too blind to see what’s right in front of him, he’s not worthy of you… plain and simple, because the guy who can’t get you off his mind, the one who can tell you’re beautiful and mean it with all his heart, is the one you want.. not the one who’s with you… while he’s still looking for the next best thing. Take it form me, I am all too familiar.

i know that some times i may not look like I’m not all “put together” as I seem. Yes, everything on the outside of me is always perfectly done. But on the inside I’m truly a fucking mess at times. there is a more to me than what meets the eye. From the looks of me, it is easy to make the following assumptions:

conceited: in fact, i have more insecurities than the next girl. we all do. Does that mean I have to let the world know it? No.  i hold my head up high && come off confident because i am very confident in my knowledge, and ability to accept the fact that I am who I am. I cannot obsess over unrealistic expectations.

know-it-all: i always just give out enough information. (i never disclose it all, that would be my ultimate defeat.)  i am DEEPER than you think. I have been through it all, and therefore help those I know are heading down the path I was on. If I had someone telling me the way at that age I would've very much appreciated it. If you would like to contradict me, I'm game. I can most likely figure you out within 5 minutes of having a conversation with you

Once I do, I thirst for YOU  to figure ME out. I believe myself to be genuine and I would never betray the ones I love. I value my family and those who are REAL. I am constantly thinking and I love to write poetry. i have Loved... Lost... and Learned. (( the three things that every soul should feel. )) i yearn for those that put a smile on my face. I crave for the one that will give to me what I will give to those that give back.

for the past several years i've pretty much kept to myself. too much circulation makes the price go down, if ya catch my drift. The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.

You must learn when to leave.

Create value through scarcity.. then when you reappear--everyone will be like "wooooww you look amazing!" i've never really accepted the roles that society foists on me. i've recreated myself by forging a new identity-- one that commands attention and never bores my audience.

it took me a while to understand I am  the master of my own image as opposed to letting others define it for me. i believe by doing this my power will be enhanced  and my character will seem larger than life.