Thursday, March 01, 2012

love -- a figment of our imagination

when it comes to men and women ...
Who are more dominant? Who should be more aggressive? Who do you think makes the first move.. is it the woman who shows interest that the male reacts to? or is it the male who approaches the woman where she then reacts back?

sadly, men have egos that bruise. They go to great lengths to avoid being humiliated, embarrassed, diminished, ridiculed, or told the truth. And they're especially averse to brawling with irate husbands and boyfriends. So they approach with caution or not at all. Also, it's a scientific fact that men are attracted to women by criteria far more complex and enduring than mere pulchritude. They really are honest --- well, a\\ome of them.

It's a little like fishing, isn't it? Men make the choice in that they are ever trolling. And women decide, based on how much they are attracted to the fisherman, whether to take the bait. Or is it the women who do the trolling?

Being "in love" is usually a euphoric feeling, usually towards a particular individual. More often than not, though, someone who is "in love" is really "in love with being in love." This type of feeling is usually short-lived, as jealousy or doubt can easily kill the feeling.

Loving someone, on the other hand, means wishing the best for them no matter what. It involves a commitment that goes beyond feelings. You can love someone so much that you let them go after others, if you feel that's what's best for them.

Does true love really exist? You know, the kismet kind. The kind that envelopes two spirits before they've even met; the kind Shakespeare must have been writing about in Romeo and Juliet; the kind that makes you give up everything familiar, moral, safe, to walk in the direction of destiny.

love has three phases: the infatuation stage, the bonding stage and the familiar stage. it helps to consider all three phases when trying to figure out whether or not it's the real thing.

But, if it's true love, does it warrant dissecting and breaking down into stages? Do you have to consider anything at all; or, is it just "so"?

nine ways to tell if the love you have for your partner is the real thing:

1. You feel good.
2. You look forward to spending time with your partner, without sex on the mind.
3. You respect your partner, and his or her feelings.
4. You're interested in what your partner thinks, and want to know what at all times.
5. You accept your partner's quirks and flaws, some might even be cute.
6. You're able to work through your problems, and have great communication.
7. You feel safe. (You're not afraid of losing your partner.) Stability is a constant
8. You can't explain why you're together.. but also couldn't explain why you'd leave eachother
9. You don't compare your partner to others, or previous exes in your past.

You can love anyone for any reason. I love my brother, but am not in love with him. You can love a stranger because he is a fellow human being, but you don't know him and have no strong attraction or connection so you can't be in love with him. You can love many people, but you can only be in love with one person. If you love your boyfriend (or girlfriend) as a human and good friend, the relationship will always be platonic. Love is platonic. Being in love is deeper and more of a committed feeling.

open my mouth, but nothing comes out. my heart starts racing and the words run faster though my mind, and i swear they are so loud that everyone can already hear me. it's so weird. i mean, i always feel like that. this overwhelming pressure and i feel like i'm about to explode, and i hear the words in my head so well, and they're screaming so loud, i just assume everyone can hear them and know what i'm thinking.

it's so unreal to feel like that and then really realize that i haven't said anything, and everyone is just carrying on, like nothing is happening, when i just feel like i've poured my heart out, although i've said nothing.

i'm not saying you should be here. i don't care. i like it better that you're gone. just don't ask me how i feel. don't ask me why i seem upset. don't ask me why i look so depressed all the time when i'm around you. you're not here. you don't know. you will never know. don't.fucking.ask. because you are in fact.. that very reason you are searching for.

xox rica

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