Tuesday, August 12, 2014

i can't be tamed. xx

hey all,
sometimes I go out of town for an extended period of time.. i do because being in the same place for too long really makes me lose touch with myself.  it feels good to break free from the normal routine, and do something nice for some one else while also putting a smile on my face. So my boyfriend and I attended a wedding of a good friend of mine.  she asked me to be a bridesmaid in the wedding so I was thrilled to not only be a part of her special day but to get away from the stress in my town and go to her town to celebrate with her and her family. funny thing is, this particular friend is the exact opposite of me in every way so how we are so close I do not know.... all I do know is that I love her dearly and I want nothing but happiness for her. And by happiness, I mean hot, wild wedding night sex.

So, with that being said I went on the Fredericks of Hollywood website and bought her a little something that looked like this…


Fredericks of Hollywood Erika Hanky Hem Babydoll $22.00


I had to keep in mind that her style is very different from my style. she has a curvy figure and is very modest, so I thought something looser with a halter tie would really flatter her and make her feel sexy. the other bridesmaids were planning on getting her lingerie as well so I was really excited to see what everyone would come up with---- fast forward to the night before the wedding. the maid of honor got her a couple of regular bras, five pairs of multi-colored normal panties, and a floor length silk nightgown with matching robe. The other bridesmaid got her a matching tank top and boy short set along with another silky floor length night gown. && then there was me, the degenerate bridesmaid. as soon as she pulled my gift out of the bag, she looked shocked and definitely blushed while all the other girls started laughing and rooting her on. of course she broke out into smiles eventually, but I couldn’t help but feel totally awkward. are the other girls totally old fashioned or have I completely lost touch with what normal society considers sexy??? i mean in my personal opinion, the gift I got her was incredibly tame.


                                  Leather Bra and G-String by Snaz75.com $37.99

So it became obvious I was the wild one without even trying to be. that works. in all actuality, I have been labeled much worse things...

To top it all off, i crashed at one of the bridesmaid’s houses after the ceremony and they decided to put us in Stacy’s bed room. Stacy was her younger sister and just happened to be stunning in a way I rarely see. Her Spanish heritage gave her a beautiful olive complexion and she had big, full lips that would put Angelina Jolie to shame. def gonna be a beauty when she's older.

As soon as I walked into Stacy’s room, however, my attitude completely changed.

Bibles. Crucifixes. Fluffy stuffed animals. Pink. seroiusly the abrupt thought of my entire body bursting into flames sent a chill down my spine and all throughout my body. whaaaaat the hell was all this? as we laid in her bed, surrounded by innocence and purity, my boyfriend and i began talking. i just wondered what led me astray. Growing up, I always went to church every Sunday and even took religious education classes. how come I didn’t turn out like Stacy? how come I feel the need to do what I do? to be such a sinner... i have the good intentions there, it's jst when i go to actually do it i just.. i dont know.. am lead in a different direction.

I guess the answer is because i never fully believed in the first place. if my memory serves me right, when you receive your first communion and you get confirmed, you take an oath of some sort that says you believe in God and everything He represents. I said exactly what everyone wanted me to say, yet deep down I wasn’t buying it. i wanted to believe there was a higher power, but i really wanted to see something to prove it. i know that won't ever happen so  i guess if i just accept jesus christ as my lord and savior, what hurt will it do when the time come. Believe it or not, we slept very well in that sweet, loving bedroom but we were happy to get out of there the next day...

Needless to say, it’s good to be home.

Happiness is a state of being

If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse. Money will not bring you happiness. ...