Wednesday, March 13, 2013

a work of art

ii just recently returned from a lovely trip. A trip to visit a fellow writer, in fact. Instead of drinking til we vomit and having promiscuous sex, the two of us opted for more ordinary activities. We went for a walk thru Grant Park, on the day of a music festival. We had a nice outdoor patio lunch, and then returned to her condo for a movie and junk food night. It was just us two girlies, and i don't remember the last time i have had so much fun. we talked about everything that was going on in our lives, but this time i did something different and that is i did more of the listening instead of the speaking.

... didn't work out to well to say the least, haha.

i found myself wanting to burst at the seams with taking over the conversations, lol, so i made sure to control myself and keep myself quiet and give her all the attention to express herself as much as possible. the reason why i decided to do this was because i was thinking about my past few conversations with friends and always notice i am always the one to talk and talk.. it's not that i am annoying and only talk about me me me, it's just that a lot of my friends come to me with questions and expect me to tell them all types of answers.. and i am by no means a know it all, but a lot of my friends seem to think so and therefore i am always forced to give my best advice and opinions as possible which leads me to be the main speaker throughout the entire conversation. i realized this isn't a good quality to have, and i wanted to see how i'd do if i were not the main speaker, and in fact kept most of what i would normally say to myself. well, haha, i didn't do so good. i found myself more focused on controlling my mouth than on what was being said. i found myself having to say "what" " huh" more often than i should have, and so i am not still determined to work on this and soon enough be able to conquer this task haha

I also received a wonderful "just because, long time no see" present that I just can not stop looking at. I was given a painting, not of an animal or a place, but of myself.

On one side, there is me holding one of my books, dressed in a conservative button up shirt and sweater. On the other side, I am donning a sexy school girl outfit equipped with a garter and some fantastic cleavage, given my current situation and all this was a pretty important factor =) I can not express how touched I was by how much work was put into it and I am so thrilled to add it to my collection of erotic pictures.

One degenerate can paint. the other can write.  && we both look like we belong to two seperate social groups.  Is this really possible?
My painting is not the only work of art I laid my eyes on this past weekend. We were wandering around Barnes and Noble the other day and a book caught my eye.


 Suicide Girls: Beauty Redefined.




It was larger than all of the other paperbacks in its section and I was immediately intrigued by its cover. A punky looking cartoon girl with a very sexy smirk on her face. I knew it had to be photography of some sort by the shape of the book so I wasted no time taking a look. What I saw within the pages completely blew me away. Suicide Girls: Beauty Redefined turned out to be a collection of erotic photography, but it was not your typical female models. Most of these girls were covered in tattoos and had piercings in spots I didn’t know one could pierce... lol

They were dark with the occasional blast of color, either in the hair, make up, or background, and best of all, they were completely naked. And sexy. Unbelievably sexy. I was then asked if I would pose for anything like that. My answer… in a heart beat. However, there are certain things that would have to fall into place before I would be able to take on such an endeavor.

First of all, I would have to be sure my reputation could take such a blow.. haha but then again at this point who am i realy rtying to impress any more?? a photograph can follow you everywhere though.. and second of all, I am not as bad ass as the Suicide Girls. I have no tats, but have always wanted a small, modest tattoo and I think a lot of make up overwhelms my features, so i don't wear much. Of course I can rock out in front of a camera so I think I would be OK regardless of the rather “bare” exterior... hehe

If I ever did something like this, I would want people to have the same reaction I did when I opened the book. & that is.. she is not just a nude body. seh is a rule breaker.. a symbol of strength . radiant .fierce as tyra banksss. she spreads her legs for the sake of art. for the sake of beauty. && those uncovered lips are shouting fuck you. while the other set of lips are screaming fuck me. it's art. she is aware of the consequences, yet takes the risk. i guess it's because nothing is as tragic as a girl that gives in..

damn.

xox rica


Monday, March 11, 2013

my style xx

my style is very versatile.

 i always want my waist, collar bone, and hips to be accentuated; whether by a waist belt, a hips chain,  etc. i have an amazing wardrobe, but am very stingy with it as i do not like going to wear a specific outfit and it not being there! I also more often than not am rocking a deigo t and ripped/distressed jeans, jean shorts, or athletic shorts, but on special occasions-- oh i go allllll out ;)

my closet is pretty much my sanctuary. i have always had a large walk-in closet, and a walk in closet is #3 on my must-haves when apartment hunting. I just love decorating it the way i want, and stepping back and just feeling so proud of my wardrobe. =D

i am currently writing a post on items i think every girl should have in their closet from clothes to shoes to purses to accessories--- all of it. that of course is taking me f.o.r.e.v.e.r so until then i wanted to create this mini post of the style i am transforming into. =0]






These two outfits above are pretty much my style to the T.

Outfit #1 :: i'm usually in jeans when not at work, a light under shirt with a gorgeous sweater like wrap. the one in the picture is TO. DIE. FOR. light jewelry, there is too much going on in the chest area with the bow-tie for a long necklace like i usually wear therefore, a shorter, 12inch, necklace would be more fit. mix in a pair of flats, or flipflops. && you got a perfect outfit for a casual day out w/ the girls or fam.

Outfit # 2: ideal for work. always in dress pants, usually black. a deep red makes me look really professional, yet fun. all the way down to the heels-- i have a pair identical to those. the only thing i wouldn't normally rock is the purse. it's a little too small for me. now for just one night out, then by all means yes. but i carry my life in my purse, and as few beg to differ, i have a pretty big and busy life haha ;D

When it comes to make up, i usually am always on the go so i keep it light. I do all my crazy experimenting when i am going to be at a very special event, or where i will be photographed alot. therefore, just light cover-up mascara and a lipgloss will suffice.

Now ever since I got this job back in February, I've been kind of transforming my look into something more professional, and a bit more calm. I have done this because when attending all of these various meetings & gatherings, I am always the loudest girl in the room. && i don't mean my voice-- i mean my outfits! i wear such bold & loud colors, that I really have been keeping it calm & neutral lately. here are two outfits i put together on www.polymore.com that really scream the new me.


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i know what most of you are probably thinking-- pearls!! what the?! lol but yes, my boyfriend's grandmother passed away a few years ago & i've really been trying to put her jewelry to good use--- funny how now 3 years later I do so but hey, better late than never right ?? ;]

my favorite colors to wear are black, white, and red, and my latest favorite clothing color is yellow! i just did my annual lightening of my hair && have been tanning so yellow looks really good on my tan skin. i've been buying alot more color lately.

Kohls has some really cute color tops. I bought the same shirt in four different colors the other day, and a pair of white jeans. I cannot express how stinkin cute i look in each color, i cant decide which one to pick ever! lol Due to my job clothes, lately, i've really been tuning into grays, browns/tans, and off-whites almost beiges. So with a mix of those two, come my latest trends i've been rockin' .....

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bold colors + calm & tranquility= rica marie <3

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

.... hitting the rebound.

to my exboyfriend,

i have lived in a fairytale for so long and now i sit in silence to try and overcome the pain and hurt you have caused me. you have given me every emotion but the one i have craved for so long. i've legit invested sooo much into you--giving you my mind, body and soul in hopes of receiving the same compassion... only to find out i would never receive any true compassion at all.

i have lost all strength.

i am not and will not ever be whole again, nor will my heart ever beat the same beat it once had.
when I see you, my world falls apart knowing you’re not a part of me any more && all that’s left is a scar reminding me a piece of me is gone forever. But after all the tears have left my eyes && when my heart is at ease for those few moments, i feel pretty sure i made the right decision.

this life is not easy, and in the end I can only hope someone will give me the true love you only stopped giving me this past year. you’ve torn me apart && I will never be healed completely. But i thank you for showing me there is only happy endings in fairytales, something i would've never known if otherwise.

you can't kill your feelings with alcohol and you can't stuff your emotions with cupcakes.... that's another thinq that i've learned from being with you.

however the most important thing i have learned from you would be that there comes a time when you need to say goodbye. i've tried to avoid this for so long when i was only putting myself in denial the entire time. as much as you want it to work, its unhealthy to keep trying and all you can do is know you are doing what is good for you and only you, not what's good for someone else..so i've came to terms with myself on this && think i'm ready.

i'm ready to leave behind the people who do nothing but bring me down && i'm ready to do something amazing with myself & my life. you really can't count on any one but yourself.

with that being said, the rest of you can all stop trying to read me or figure me out. maybe I like to be unnavigable. I don’t want to be a doll on a shelf or a trophy in a case. I’m an actual person with real thoughts and feelings and as cliché as that sounds, no one can define me but ME.

watching every move that I make, you will fail. trying to get to know the real me, you will fail. trying to know the girl behind all of them fake smiles, you will fail.

so let me make this simple for you---

get off of my ass and stay out of my life.

if I wanted you in my life, I would have not pushed you away.

you will never get the chance to know me again because you've ruined any chance there could ever be. i hope I made it clear enough for you.

goodbye.

xox rica

♡♡♡

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