trust -- learned or innate behavior?

One of the main topics I write about is trust. i am not sure why, but it is as if i can write and write and write nonstop about it.  trust is a really hard thing. it's hard to win but super easy to lose. you can spend years building it up, and it's amazing how it can shatter in seconds.. when you put your trust in someone it means that you will expect them to do what they say they will do, which is usually something that you should be doing for yourself but rely on them enough to do for you.. Trusting in someone usually means that there is something they have that you believe you need, or something you have that you believe they can take away to cause you harm. You may not agree, but i have thought long and hard about this & this is def the conclusion i have come to and won't budge onto any other..

Truth is much trickier than we think it is, isn't it?

My freshmen year I already learned what two-faced and back stabbing meant. you couldn't find a person you could trust in sight. If you had a real friend that you could trust, it didn't last long, or at least the trust didn't. It was either some one said something, or boyfriends/girlfriends got in the way. it  could be that you were completely innocent but it wouldn't matter as long as the drama was made. a year long relationship could be ruined by someone you didn't even know as long as they swore to it. every time, its your fault. don't get me wrong sometimes your not innocent but I'm hoping you will have the nerve to admit when your wrong, i know i do... but your words well be scrabbled and screwed then they make a scene and when you don't stir back your "scared."

honesty is the backbone of healthy relationships. i know sometimes its hard to be honest, but when you are, people know that they can trust you and when people trust you... you will be able to go far.  emotions are powerful.  we usually don’t realize how much they affect our lives and the lives of those around us, but they lie behind every thing we say or do even though most of the time we are not aware of them.

remember the first time you fell in love? What were your emotions doing? Did you let things bother you or did you let thing slide? now think of your most heart wrenching break up. What were your emotions doing? Did you let things bother you or did you let things slide? our emotions affect how we see, hear or even do things, most of the time it’s immediately, however sometimes it affects how we see things the next day or a week from the event. usually we don’t even realize the power they have had on us.

this is why i put a lot of effort into controlling my anger the most. i sometimes say a lot of things i don't mean to and this makes me feel soo horrible at the end of the day. my boyfriend and i used to have some pretty bad fights, and we would say hurtful things quite often. we have since worked on that path of communication and he hasn't said something to hurt me in months, and we are still going strong. no matter how hard the situation or fight, it can alwaysss be worked out-- communication is key and it is very essential in making a path of understanding and a clearer future.

that's all i am going to right on that tonight. i lost a friend tonight over pathetic bullshit -- happened before but as you can see we didn't use our communication skills to the best of our ability and now we are in the exact same boat -- but you live and learn, right?

out with the old in with the new.