Sunday, May 19, 2013

a formal fuck you.

F.U.C.K. Y.O.U.
I like how the people who are supposed to be there for you through any type of weather are no where to be found for me. there are times when i am in desperate help, and not a single soul would help me, or try to help me. i believe in karma, and my karma should be excellent with the way i treat my family and friends. so why is this happening to me? is this God's way of trying to keep me strong? well what the fuck God, i am not liking this one bit! i have been on my own since I was 16 years old, and have always promised myself i would make it and that i was making the absolute right decision. i did. i am glad i moved out, and am glad i had to deal with all of the responsibilities i have at this age while all of my peers were still partying at mommy and daddy's house on mommy and daddy's money.

i grew up quick, and love it. i am soo much more wise than people my age, and because of it a lot of them come to me for help. what do i do? of course i help them out. why? because that is the type of person i am. i love helping people, and being there for people. it makes me feel good inside. but lately, i have been noticing i am not following my own advice. i am not practicing what i am preaching. this is when i found out that...

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

as much as i want to deny it, i can't. if i followed all that i tell others, i wouldn't be so partially unhappy with the people i am unhappy with. i find myself always being there for my friends. i always give them advice, i listen ot them. and the one thing i wont ever do under any any ANY circumstances is judge them. So why don't i get that in return?

it's one thing to turn down someone who came to you for help, but to completely ignore them is another. funny how when i go to ask other things that don't ask for help or their advice on something, they are quick to respond. but when it comes to me asking them for something, or to help me with something, they are missing in fucken action!! i don't get it! at least have enough dignity to fucken tell me NO, i'd rather hear that than continuing to message or contact you via whatever means possible and become an annoying nuisance and eventually leading me to look very stupid and desperate.

but its all good. there is only one person that keeps me around. its hard to give that up, but i don't think i would be able to handle this very much longer. i have given them numerous chances to switch things, to make things right between everyone of us, but it is still always my fault and it is always ME that fucks things back up. this is sooo far from the truth. they just can't get over that i am making it without them, and am going to continue making it. they can't stand to see my happiness, so they try to point things out on my life that aren't supposed to be the way they are. they must think i am stupid, and think for one second they know what goes on in my life when they don't because they never take the time to hear me, to listen to me, to see me, let alone to even remember me! i am always forgotten on big events/vacations, etc. and never know about any news until wayyy after the fact. i just am not a part of the circle any more, and finally am giving up on trying to be.

people are going to want you. need you. exceed you. take you. love you. hate you. play you. rate you. save you and break you. but that's what makes you

i'm not doing SHIT for any one any more. im done with being ignored, forgotten, and a disappointment to all of you. from now on, i am doing my own thing. deuces.

hugs.. one size fits all. i can really use one right now.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Cheerleading < 3

I have had a love for cheerleading for almost half my life. When I was younger, my mom wouldn't let me join the tackle football teams so I began loving the cheer leading squads. I learned and memorized all the routines and cheers, and even began making ones up myself. There is a common misconception about us cheerleaders though.

Being a cheerleader isn't just how high you jump, how loud you yell, or how much spirit you have.

Being a cheerleader requires the right attitude, a positive attitude. With all the intensity between squads cheerleaders must have a lot of sportsmanship.

I have it.  Do you?

So last summer I posted an ad on to gather a group of girls for some sports during the summer. I made a local ad in the community section. I got soo many responses! After about two weeks, I had narrowed it down to 8 girls, and we all lived within 20 miles of eachother. The first time we went to Madison Meadows, we ran into another group of girls (oddly enough there were 8 of them too) and we decided to join forces and play together. We did everything from softball to volleyball to football, and especially cheerleading for the boy's baseball and football teams at the Commons & Madison Meadows.

We had an awesome routine & the difficulty level was higher than any other real squad, atleast i thought so hehe =]

This squad is amazing, and I am seeking more routines and cheers.

So if any of my readers have any that they recall from their younger years, let me know pleaseee!!

Thanks ladies!!

Felicia xx

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

dealing with resentful bitches.

i've dealt with the most turmoil last year. i don't know how the people i've considered my heart can be so judgmental, deceitful, and most of all resentful. i wanted to dig into resentment because i think it can come from all different types of people you associate yourself with -- not just family but coworkers, friends, or even neighbors.. even people you only considered acquaintances. however first, i think in order to learn how to deal with all of this, one must truly have a good understanding of what resentment is, its causes and the thoughts that linger in the resentful person’s mind.

i think resentful people have this constant belief that someone or something has harmed his or her well being on intention, and therefore has to be a spiteful bitch in return in order to feel even and/or happy. Personally, i think resentful bitches are usually an indication of weakness as the resentful person is someone who has failed to defend herself or has failed to stop others from harming her and therefore have no better way than becoming resentful towards them... assuming this is the way to go.

in order for these people not to hurt their egos, to admit failure or to carry responsibility lots of people decide to become resentful in order to throw the blame of all the bad things that happened to them on someone else. Because , ya know, after all is said and done, its hurts wayy less to say "life is unfair or rica is evil" than to say I should have worked harder or i am a lazy fat slob.

oh and, keep in mind i am talking about resentful haters who you have NOT hurt intentionally but they think you have.. if you are dealing with a resentful person who you have intentionally screwed, then you can deal with that your own way on your own, sorry bitches but karma is a bitch.

but i think that in many cases a person can incorrectly perceive some facts and become resentful without even making sure of the information he or she has in the least bit factual. for example, here in Chicago where I live, it’s ohh so common to park your car for few minutes then come back to find a long line craved along the car's body made with a key or razor .. obviously by the hating bitch. with the obvious message being "you should've parked right and you wouldnt have gotten your car keyed!!"

when it comes to preventing resentment, your role should really be on making sure that you don’t let the other people get you wrong, after all good communication skills is about not being misunderstood as much as you can even if you are doing nothing wrong.

but in my case, a lot of the resentment stems from jealousy.

i truly believe underlying resentment can be feelings of jealousy from one person to another. for instance, having a bitch believe that your success has proved them to be failures (how can someone's success bring pain?) or how she believes you may be in possession of things like a job that you don't deserve or that she should have..

communication is the number one way to combat these type of females.

you have to be able to give an explanation of your actions as much as you can if your actions will affect them directly.. whether you realize it initially or not. the way i prevent resentment is all about being clear so that you don’t get misunderstood. when the resentment comes to a point that i am not sure why or have not done anything intentionally, that's when you really have to sit that person down and just c.o.m.m.u.n.i.c.a.t.e !!!!!!!

okay i have to go Christmas shopping so i'll catch ya'll on the flipside =)

xox rica

Sunday, May 05, 2013

people annoy me

warning: this is going to be a very long rant on the types of people i cannot stand. yes, i know at least one person that belongs to each category i speak of. if you think it's about you, you're probably riqht :)

I'm DONE with dumb, self-absorbed, selfish, stupid, mind draining, mind sucking so-called 'friends', relatives, neighbors, etc. To them, THEIR life is the only life, THEIR illness is the only illness, THEIR child is the only child. Nobody in creation has ever been ripped off like them, back stabbed like them, hurt like them, pained like them, had a rotten childhood like them, had worse parents than them, had no parents like them, had a unique illness like them, had a holiday like theirs, had a life learning experience like them, had a bad boss like them - in fact, NOBODY has lived before in the whole of human history EXCEPT them. You get migraines - oh nothing like THEIR migraines, you have a problem - oh THEY had that happen but worse. I want to know something. How come they even know that anything was worse, better, more or ANYTHING at all when they are completely incapable of listening to anybody else for more than 5 secs. Their problems, their woes, THEIR fcken life story.

HEY to all those insensitive, selfish MORONS, if your life is so bad END it, if it's so good SPEND it, but leave me the hell out of it.

I can't stand two-faced people. I can't stand people who back stab. I can't stand people who lie. I can't stand people who have no spine. I can't stand people who only exist to make others feel less than. I can't stand people who compete for no good reason. I can't stand pretentious morons who have nothing to be pretentious about. I can't stand people who think they have all the answers after their life has proven to be a bleeding mess. I can't stand people who don't stand up for themselves. I can't stand people who ostracize those who do. I can't stand people who shrug at others' discomfort. I can't stand people who are hypocrites. I can't stand people who are selfish and self-centered. I can't stand people who never admit when they are wrong. I can't stand people who wreak havoc in others' lives and then distance themselves from the spoilage. I can't stand people who never understand anything you say to them, no matter how bluntly you make your statement. I can't stand people who behave as though you just killed ten grandmothers because you said a curse word, especially when they know it was deserved. I can't stand people who think Jesus is the answer to everything. I can't stand judgmental idiots. I can't stand people who only see the bottom line. I can't stand people who don't see the bigger picture. I can't stand people who are ignorant and want to be. I can't stand people who never heard of standing by a person, right or wrong, unless of course, they've raped or killed someone.. lol

I am angry that so many assholes get away with so much evil bullshit in this stupid world of ours. Why do things have to be this way? Can't we just build a big catapult and toss all the assholes out into space? Right into the sun so they can burn into ashes. That would make me feel a lot better, for sure. Of course, yeah, I know, some asshole out there is going to say, how do you define who's an asshole and who's not? well, for one thing, i have my own personal shit-list, and you'll just have to trust me, it's 100% accurate about all the people on it being assholes. But, okay, say that's not quite good enough for you (what are you, some kind of asshole or something?). say you want to at least test people before sticking them on the catapult, to make absolutely sure they're assholes. Fortunately, nothing could be easier. Here's the simple answer:

a: if someone is a fucking goddamn pathological liar, that's a prime symptom of assholeness.

b: if someone treats you like absolute shit absolutely all the time, that's them being an asshole.

c: if someone treats you nice all the time, but then goes and says something mean about you to someone else, then they belong on the honor roll in the hall of shame for worthless assholes.

d: just about anybody who works for a telemarketing firm is a stinky, hairy, shit-ringed asshole.

e: most large companies are all run by total assholes.

& i will stop there, i can go on &&& on but i don't want to overload the catapult. :)

i can't stand people who get everything and more, and never have to lift a finger. in today's society, you have to WORK to get money to support yourself and your family. and yet there are these people who live off their parents ad run around to the mall every day like the spoiled little brats they are. spending oodles of money on shoes they probably will only wear once.

&& lastly, what i really cannot stand are fake friends. friends tell you they're there for you, but when you try to vent, they get pissed off at you and turn it around so you end up comforting them. friends that say they will never judge you, but when shit hits the fans they talk so much shit about how fucked up you are. well news flash sweetie-- we're allllllll fucked up one way or another. && what i hate is when people assume shit and start talking shit when they have no validity to their statements at all whatsoever.

with all this hate, i still manage to have a heart of gold & wear a smile at all times.

especially now that my venting is over ;D

xox rica