Tuesday, May 29, 2012

power struggle

.. i just truly believe there are certain qualities a person must obtain before being considered powerful themselves.. at least in my mind.

Before you ask yourself how you can become powerful, you must first ask yourself the question, what is power? i mean, some may think it is being able to reach what you want, while others think it is having people respect you. i even heard one person say being powerful is the ability to know how to solve all of your problems in no time!

But let's get real.. power is neither this nor that. it's a state of mind. it's being in control whatever happens, it’s the opposite of being broken, of victimizing yourself or being helpless. i think power is the state of mind that allows you to challenge whatever stands in your way, to bear the worst circumstances ever without cracking and to make your dreams come true with disregard to all the obstacles you face.

not only that, but i think power is a state of mind that can be achieved through a combination of different personality traits that together form the sides of the power cube. anddd i don't think any one can be powerful unless they possess each and every one of these key elements:

•managing your emotions: have there ever been times you became scared? How many times panic has taken over you? How many times were you unable to control your temper and so took a wrong decision? How many emotional decisions have you took then regretted them later? Emotions are very powerful, they can control you and force you to do things you never wanted to do. Some people commit suicide right after a strong emotional experience and this shows how powerful emotions can be. a powerful person is the one who knows how to control her emotions and master them instead of letting them control her. i know being a female this is extremely hard to do.. but it is possible.

•paaaaaatienceeee: Impatience is the lack of ability to tolerate a certain emotional stimulus that is currently affecting you- we all become impatient at some point in our lives. personally, i have grown to be more patient over the years as i have become more involved with children. The more powerful you are the more will you be able to bear the worst circumstances while maintaining your rational thinking and self control. Patience is not waiting but its bearing the bad conditions while working your way through them. If you are not patient then you lack one of the vital sides of the power cube.. you cannot be powerful without this important element.

•persistence: to me, the most persistent person is the one that can’t be stopped whatever happened to her. for instance, something a different as when i broke my arm and wore a sling, however this didn’t stop me from going to the gym 3 times a week to train my upper body. Persistence is not commitment but it’s the ability to keep going even if a storm is blowing in your face...some people can't handle that.

•courage: courage is not only fighting back at those who try to bully you or or being 'brave' .. its looking life straight into the eye, its not freaking out when you forget your keys inside the car and its standing still in the face of the new problems you encounter without collapsing or running away. straight to the point, i consider having courage is not so much not ever being scurred, but having the ability to continue going on while ignoring those fears.

remember, this is just my personal views. keep in mind i have no degrees or licenses on any of this shit, but it' just things i've gathered throughout life && my own wisdom on things. don’t feel bad if you found that you lack any of these qualities or even if you found that you lack them all. another part of power is knowledge, now you know what you lack and what you need to learn, i'm always on the hunt for learning. i love it. you can never stop learning and can never get bored of it. knowledge is power. i think by possessing all of the elements i've listed and keep on the path of grasping all the knowledge you can, you can only wrap up your pwer cube and become poweful.

xox rica

Monday, May 28, 2012

remembering memorial day < 3

Happy Memorial Day !!!!!!
I'm usually all fun and games, but I want to take a moment here to write about the true meaning of Memorial Day.

First, if any veteran, or current soldier is reading this, thank you VERY much for your service to our country. Thank you for putting yourself in the line of fire, for millions of Americans, so we all can have the freedoms we have.


To some, this weekend is nothing more than liquidation sales, BBQ's, and just another three day weekend. But do we really remember WHY we fly the flag out in the front yard? WHY we're even celebrating in the first place?

It's not really a happy holiday. It's to remember those who have died serving in the armed forces for OUR freedom. The men and women who have spent months away from their families to stay up for hours patrolling the jungles of Vietnam or streets of Baghdad, only to die in battle.

For what purpose? To keep us free.

We celebrate it to not mourn their death, but celebrate their life.

Take time this year to thank a Veteran. Or if you happen to see a memorial for a fallen soldier, pay some respects to it. They're the reason we're still the country we are.

xox rica

Friday, May 18, 2012

Support The Cause

As mentioned before, I am a strong advocate for Child Abuse Awareness. Children are my everything. The sight of any child being hurt, or a tear running down their cheeck makes me want to do everything in my power to create an everlasting smile.

All children should wear one thing at all times, and that's smile.

below are a few questions most people have asked me on how they can get involved. i started off doing all i do by a simple google search. you have to want to make a change in order to do so. hopefully this blog post is very informational for many of you. comment in the section below if you have any other questions or concerns!! Helping out all boils down to one's responsibility && most importantly, one's courage. The answers to stopping this plague (thats exactly what child abuse is in my eyes) are responsibility and courage. I understand most people don't really know what goes on behind close doors of one's family, which is why I try my best to help other's acknowledge some uncomfortable realities.

How do I help?

1. By learning the facts. Could you spot an abuser? I mean, truly spot one? If you answered yes, you should be shot.

2. By minimizing opportunity. Believe it or not, most abusers groom their victims and their families before they act.

3. By talking about it. Kids don't know they can say no. They are completely ignorant to anything and everything.

4. By staying alert. Learn how to spot signs of abuse... other than physical signs.

5. By having a plan. Believe the child. Very few reported incidents are false. How and Where would a child make this stuff up?

6. By acting on suspicions. Trust your intuition. Ask questions...

7. By getting involved. This is a huge human challenge that can be impacted by collective power if you know what to do...

Sadly, child abuse is a generational CURSEEE!! But it can be stopped if we shine a light on the problem and expose it. Abusers depend on our innocence and our IGNORANCE! They hide in plain sight.. hence my number one step. I hope after reading this one of you might be more aware, I know once I started doing some research, I never looked at the world the same.

I am constantly on a handful of different web sites every day. I copied and pasted the websites that are in my favorites, but you can easily just find other ones by doing a simple google.com search.

Just go to Google.com && copy and paste each title below to go to the website.

Stop Child Trafficking Now
The Kempe Center for the Prevention & Treatment of Child Abuse & Neglect
Klaas Kids Foundation 888-99-KLAAS
Teen Dating Abuse Hotline
Safe Havens for Newborns
The Joyful Child
Circle of Trust bill
Orrin Hudson "Be Someone"
Blake's Bright Tomorrow
Carlie's Crusade Foundation
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
Parents of Murdered Children
Darkness to Light
National Sex Offender Registry
The Jessica Marie Lunsford Foundation
Support victims of childhood sexual abuse


one of my favorite little excerpts:

He came into my life when I was just a little girl I was happy and young And then he changed my world One night I was in bed And he came to say goodnight except he took a little longer before he turned out the light He really hurt me that night And I didn't know what to do. I thought it happened to most well every little boy and girl.

I lay in bed that night Hurting inside and out tears streaming down my face I tried hard not to shout out I put that tragic night to the back of my head playing games at school there was nothing to be said A year had passed along and then it happened again. My mum was out at work it was him and me again I was sat next to him just watching the TV when he pulled me close to him and again molested me I thought it only happened once When I had done something bad but now I knew I was wrong I felt alone and sad And 8 years on I got the courage to tell someone the police got involved and stuff I was hated by my mum she kicked me out that day and stuck right by his side saying I was attention seeking and that it was all lies so in the end it got too much and I told the police I lied everything went back to normal I swear I wish I'd died

everything was going well until he sent me those texts saying he would kill himself it was all my fault instead so I went back to the police and told them it all again he's moved out for now. its investigating time again but my mum still hates me and thinks its all a lie. I feel so alone right now I wish I would just die I've told a couple of friends but its hard for them you see, to put up with something as stupid as a teenager like me. all I do is mope and cry because no-one understands what I feel inside each day

please someone take my hand.

I cut myself sometimes. When the pain gets too much I hate him for what he did and where he used to touch I often think I'll run away or step into the road my future seems so black and dim. I'm only 17 years old And if the case is dropped he will come back home again and I'll be back to where I began... In a world of sadness and pain I hope someone hears my cry and says they understand I just don't know what to do anymore I'm scared and on my own... So you see I'm stuck forever I just want to scream and shout But there's something you have to know

That for me, there's no way out 

So for all of you who messaged me wanting to know more information :: i hope this helps.

Rica xx

Monday, May 14, 2012

... dealing with guilt.

Disclaimer:: // this was initially a very old i originally posted in 2011. it is however one of my most popular ones (according to my stats on this blog) and therefore, i think it deserved an update not to mention i have quite a bit too add onto it due to recent events from stupid cunts in today's society \\

Guilt – the gift that keeps on giving.

The dictionary defines the word "guilt" as a "feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined." Guilt is that part of the human conscience that brings us up short and convicts us for actions and thoughts. Guilt is an inherent human trait that we more often than not naturally attempt to rid our lives of it. Guilt means there is a right and wrong way for us to operate and there are standards of what is good and what is worthy of guilt. thankfully, this guilt "gene" is something that we are born with.

I remember when my younger sister Catfish (won't state her real name) loved to walk up to any window, and just stare out of it. One specific time, it was a warm day during the summer months, and naturally with a large family home-- we had my 5 brothers and their friends along with 4 labrodor dogs constantly going in and out of the house all throughout the day, least to say flies were a problem. To our luck, Catfish was fascinated with flies and she attempted to catch them almost every time she seen one.. as with any thing else that flied or made a funny noise, and was smaller than her. Whenever I caught her trying to catch the flies, I would smack her hand or mouth (depending on how quick she was lol).

One day, she managed to catch one just as I walked into the room. She quickly put the fly into her mouth. Gross, I know. When I asked her where the fly was, she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, little shit she is lol Her face was a picture of guilt and I could hear the fly buzzing inside of her pursed lips. I was able to free the fly by prying that little mouth open and the fly flew away. Where Catherine then said "how'd that get in there!?" with her big blue eyes popped wide open. too cute, but not good considering flies are soooo dirty and disgusting. yes, i'd brush her teeth and rinse her mouth out quite thoroughly every time i caught her doing it, which fortunately wasn't THAT  often because she hated the consequences I had for her...

My point is, guilt is like that fly, it keeps buzzing until we deal with it. It's a buzzing problem.

There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with guilt. Trying to hide it, as my sister did to that fly, does not work. Strangely enough, the more a person is developed and the more they love and they care, the more they might experience guilt.

I used to consider guilt and shame one in the same. But after really thinking about it... they are very different, very different. Shame is more of that uneasy feeling we might get when we might get caught up for what  ever it is we may have done. We might not care whether it was right or wrong necessarily... but we do care whether anyone knows about it or not. Whereas guilt is more related to right and wrong. It is not so much a matter of what others might think but what we ourselves think. I think the main answer is forgiveness. forgiveness means to stop blaming or being angry at another for what they have done, or just coming to terms with that person as a sort of agreement to let itbe wate r under the bridge. not only that but it is ultimately freeing yourself and sometimes even others from an feeling so down.. you need to realize that forgiveness does not mean thinking that what they did was right. When we forgive we still think that what was done was wrong, but we give up punishing ourselves by holding a grudge for what we or another did. We release && let it go.

dealing with guilt

what i really wanted to point out in this blog was ways to deal with the guilt one may have.  there are many different techniques that some may consider common sense, but believe it or not common sense is not so common these days. not to mention when one's mind has soo much weight on it-- you can't expect that person to be able to think clearly.. which is why i love writing soo much because i truly enjoy breaking things down to their core and examining every which way it may go to better understand what it is, and how to solve'deal with it thus brining me to my blog where i write about my personal views with hopes of being able to truly help someone who may be suffering from what ever it is i wrote in that particular blog... lol god do i ramble. hehe :) ANYWAY. back to techniques no dealing with guilt .. one simple, but highly effective way is to list all the things we consider we did wrong. everrrrrrrything we did. everrrrrrything we said. everrrrrrything we thought. we do this until we feel we have emptied our mind of all the considerations related to the guilt. The trick here is to note those things which we might not think, at first glance to be wrong. but these are things we did or said that led to the problem, and to feeling guilty. one time i even added "feeling guilty" to my list.. it is definitely a good candidate! having made a full list and now we feel much better, we review the list and note what we need to do in future to avoid the problem.  i find myself doing this most often when i am feeling upset or have a lot of anger inside... my first coping strategy is to write. i put my pen to the paper and let it bleeeeeed. i have 1000 and one 3 to 5 subject notebooks, and even more little journals i use because one of my new years resolutions every year is to continue to document my every day life. i like to read back on it and see the situations i had, how i handlded them, my thoughts, and what others around me did and how they may have contributed to my feelings at the time-- but ii'll save that for my other blog i am currently writing on my new years resolutions but haven't gotten around to posting yet :)

Back on track now.. lol jeez do i get off track easily ... so you may laugh at this but guilt brought me to the realization that I was a sinner... go ahead like i said.. laugh, like its such a shocker. lpl But for real, I also realized that I could not do anything about that on my own because we are all sinners. I would clear my mind by saying I was sorry or asking for forgiveness of those I offended, but that did not quiet the guilty feelings. But then I was told that I could bring my emotional feelings into balance by trusting in someone else. When we trust someone else, its typically because we think we need that person in our lives. So we create that bond that will maybe bend, but never break.

...or so we tend to think.

xox rica

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

.. is anybody out there?

I made a pretty big mistake today and though I am not going to go into detail about it I will just say that I aggravated what could possibly be the most important people in my life. This was done simply because I didn't look into the future consequences of my actions and do what I needed to do to have the best result. We have all done this before and with a mistake the size of the one I made today often times we quit. It would be very comfortable for me to just sink back into a sense of safety and obscurity, but that wouldn't make us any better would it?

So what is the plan when we run into a wall as hard as possible to realize we couldn't move it? We clean up our wounds we created first and foremost but then? The answer should be we don't run into it again, and if it is a wall that has to be moved we use the tools we know can accomplish the job to get it done. I was looking online last night at the news and saw that Rihanna got a new tattoo that says "no failures in life, only lessons". What wise words to instill especially at this time in our present life when more and more people are looking at life from a negative light. We all have lessons we need to learn and incorporate in our daily lives, and the larger the lesson the bigger the game we are playing.

There are times when I feel incredibly alone. Like there is not a soul on this earth that could possibly understand the thoughts in my head. Like I am screaming at the top of my lungs and there isn’t a single person that can hear me. Like I am drowning in frigid, unmerciful waters without any hope of someone throwing me a life saver. And although all of this is a good reason for me to hole up in my apartment and wish for death, it is essentially what makes me alive. What makes me human. We all have our battles and the lifestyles we choose determine just how great our personal war with the world will be. Some people are satisfied with their role as the innocent civilian, while others want nothing but the front lines and an AK-47.

Can you guess where I would be? Deff on the front lines, runnin up on lawns with guns drawn. I also wouldn’t mind going to battle with some of the most daring people the world ever saw. The real fighters. The ones who defied society and basically gave the finger to every social rule there ever was.

I just think it's funny how people never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher or better than themselves. i personally think the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

xox rica


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