Thursday, March 26, 2015

need to get out of this funk --

If you ever been depressed, then maybe you know where I’m coming from. It’s like one minute you’re fine, and the next minute something happens that makes you think— i mean really think — and then you’re totally empty. The only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally done, like you don’t mean anything to anyone.

All you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don’t want their pity, even if you could tell someone, nothing would come out right. You don’t want to laugh, or smile, or whine, or argue or be stubborn or difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back.

You think that all your friends hate you and only talk to you because they feel bad for you. You know complete strangers judge you just because of how you look and act, and when you think about how you’re not as beautiful as the crowd that surrounds you, it makes you feel even worse. And of the two people that are supposed to love you the most in the world, one left you, and the other is exceptional, but at the same time is still that you can love forever, who will never cheat on you or play you, who will go out of his way to make you happy but then again not get past his own pride when it comes to certain situations.

Sometimes you just want to give up, you want so desperately to be alone, but at the same time fear it so much. You know how it feels to know that your not a bad person, just sometimes do bad things, just sometimes have bad habits, just some times let your emotions get the better of you... that you desperately do not want to let your friends down and always try your hardest not to be selfish, isolated, self conscious, bitter, whiny, or obsessive.

so you listen to what everyone else has to say, but you never tell them how you feel, because that would mean revealing part of yourself, and you just can’t do that; you can’t let anyone really know you. And your opinions wouldn’t matter to them anyways, and most of all if you took the time to sit down and try to get all your feelings out for the first time in your life, it would be completely over whelming.

Gosh.. I need to get out of this funk.


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

leibster blog award x2 xx

hey all my pretty ladies! i am here today to finally get around to posting my numerous Leibster Awards i have received from a couple different bloggers over the past month. my first award came from the lovely Kia at Cosmo Gloss  && my second award came from the beautiful Andrea at PHD Fashionista - so i will address her second in the post below. [[ go check their AMAZING blogs out now!! ]]

1. Each nominee must mention and link back the person who nominated them.
2. Answer the 11 questions given to you by the nominator.
3. List 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 11 blogs who have less than 300 followers for this award.
5. Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
6. Inform your nominees that you have nominated them.

11 Facts about myself
1. i'm a high heel aficionado, lip gloss lover, and obsessed with having everything from my hair to my toes did at all times. I'm most definitely an extreme girly girl. i like to think i leave a bit of sparkle every where i go [[ && i don't let ANY ONE dull my sparkle.*]]

2. i am a total book worm. i always say i'll only read one or two chapters of a book & then i get comfortable on my bed and end up spending the entire day/night reading the entire book .. lol

3. my education is very important to me. i thirst for learning new things, and if school were free, i'd take all the classes available!

4. creativity wants to burst at my seams. i'm a huge scrapbooker, even bigger arts and crafts gal. i am always working on a project!

5. i'm a huge child abuse awareness advocate. i do everything i can in order to spread awareness. i feel strongly for helping abused children. check out some posts for more info: Support The Cause && Child Abuse Awareness-- Be Their Voice xx

6. i document every thing. i have a daily journal where i document things that gave me a big emotional impact. i would love to bury a time capsule one day :]

7. I'm a germophobe, and an insane clean freak.i Lysol and febreeze everything in my house, as i am obsessed with smelling good personally as well as my apartment & car smelling fresh too

8. my sister is the most amazing gift God has blessed me with. ive gotten soo much closer to my family this past year, and for that i am forever grateful. ♥

9. my digital camera goes everywhere with me. since i've gotten an iPhone from work, i have just used that as its pictures are insanely perfect. Say Cheese. ツ

10. i hate waiting but hate being rushed even more. This is especially so when I am getting ready for the day in the mornings. I have a routine and have to do exactly it otherwise I go crazy!

11. everyone tells me im the funniest person they've ever met. i love to laugh but enjoy making others laugh even more. most of the time i'm being a sarcastic asshole, and therefore you should never take what i say to heart. ;]

Answer the following 11 questions:

What motivated you to start your blog?
i consider blogging as my therapy. ive been a writer since as long as i can remember. In my preteen days, writing with my feather pink pens and gel pens on colored paper and the little locks they came with that i knew no one would ever be able to pick unless they had my key. ;) i love to connect with other bloggers who may be going through similar situations as i am. it is awesome to see what the blogging world has developed into over the years-- and i have become more connected with people here than in my real life. How sad is that LOL

What is your most beloved beauty product you can't live without?
i have so many i cannot live without. I desperately need cover up/foundation, my preferred drug store mascara, and some sort of lip wear-- whether it be chap stick or lip gloss! Those are my top three for sure!

What is your favorite nail color?
there are so many factors that can go into play. Factors such as the season, weather, holidays, outfits i plan on wearing, current trends, etc. my absolute go to nail color when in doubt is always black or french manicure. they are both neutrals and match any thing and every thing. for work, i wear a lot of black.

Not to mention black is such a good platform to add any type of pattern you wish, i think so at least. i love adding leopard prints with my tans once i want some change, or i will ad silver sparkle lines horizontally, etc 
Favorite type of music?
Hiphop,Rap, Pop, Rock -- I listen to it all. Lately I have been turned onto an Opera Rock and you would not think the two would sound good together but it is amazingly awesome to hear how they intertwine into awesome sounds!

Lipstick or Lipgloss?
Recently i began getting into matte lip sticks. My current favorites are the Maybelline SuperStay 14hour matte lipstick my shade is Beige Foregood. They stay on all day with out having to reapply. There are a great variety of different shades surely able to match any outfit. Also, I am obsessed with having to have some thing on my lips at all times otherwise i feel they are drying out or some thing lol So when chap stick isn't around, these matte lipsticks do the job!

The other lip product i am loving right now is the Revlon Color Burst Lip in Creme Brulee for a good shimmer shade.

Favorite hobby?
Decorating -- my dwelling. lol I am very creative, and love to add my touch of creativity anywhere i can. Where better than where I live? I love to do arts and crafts. As mentioned above, I do it all from making jewelry, greeting cards, collages, drawing, all the way to scrap booking, etc --- i absolutely love it. I am left-handed though so I am sure that is my excuse for being so creative!

What is your guilty pleasure show to watch?

Game of Thrones for sure! I will definitely admit I would NEVER have chosen to watch this show on my own. This show is such a man, geeky, sci-fi, show that I so am not usually into. However after being FORCED to watch a few episodes, i got into it SO much and am now OBSESSED! It has all the drama us girly sappy soap operas have-- just intertwined with some bad ass females who kick ass!

I absolutely love this show, and am ecstatic about the start of Season Four starting in just one more month!!

If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?
My home land of Puerto Rico! One, to get away from this awful weather Chicago has been having. 2 To visit all of my family since the majority of them all reside there. 3. To soak my toes in the sand of some of the most beautiful beaches in the world!

Favorite accessory/piece?
Jewelry!! You can legit make or break an outfit with jewelry. You can up do it to some thing very formal and classy, or bum it down to casual and chic.Whether it is one piece or several pieces of jewelery, adding jewelery to your wardrobe is something that can easily elevate you to the next level of style and make you feel better about the way you look.

The jewelery pieces that you select to go with an outfit can either compliment it, or take away from it drastically. It is important to choose each piece carefully so that you make the best impression.

Best part of blogging?
Finding inspiration. I am always reading numerous other blogs and I find inspiration all over the place. i find it in every aspect of my life -- beauty, fashion, lifestyle, children, school, work, etc. i love having my words appreciated as well.

i have always had a lot to say && now i finally have an audience who CHOOSES to read. Also I love to connect with others who have the same interest and lives as I do!

Any pets?
I do not own any pets at the moment, as they ar3e not allowed where i am currently living. However I absolutely LOVE cats! I am definitely a car person. I have had a couple cats in my life, but I had to leave each of them with my then roommates at the time as my new apartments did not allow any pets. :( I am still trying to convince a certain someone* to get me a kitty for my birthday which is coming up in which i would name him or her "Zazzles" :)

11 questions from Andrea at 

1. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? If so, how many and what kind?
I have no tattoos and two piercings-- my ears and belly button! I am not really into tattoos. Tattoos are tricky however I have always told myself pick something -- wait six months and if i still love and want it -- then go for it! && as of yet, i have not been able to like anything for longer than six months ha!

2. What is one thing that you absolutely could not live one day without?
my cellphone. lol isn't that so sad? Also, chap stick or a lip product in general.

3. If you could choose any place in the world to live where would you choose?
I would chose to live in Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico is a commonwealth of the USA so we are essentially 'under the same roof' as far as order and protection go. However I will get the beautiful scenery and get to be around my family and in my native land as well. What's better than that?

4. If you won a $50,000 shopping trip to any store where would you go?

Victoria's Secret!! VS has every different type of clothing I can want as far as bras and panties to sweats to regular. The company sells lingerie, womenswear, and beauty products though we all know it is best known for its UH-MAY-ZING bras and panties!! What i like most about VS is that it is all this sexiness packaged in a tasteful, glamorous way-- topped with sparkles, sequence, bolb colors, and leopard print!! [what more can a girl ask for?]

5. Where is your favorite place to vacation and why?
Puerto Rico-- the scenery. It is pretty self explanatory! lol

6. Who is your all time favorite designer?

Louis Vuitton has never gone wrong. I also love Dior and Coco Chanel.

7. If you had to choose between losing your entire makeup collection or losing your entire wardrobe, which would you choose?

I have had to deal with losing both last year. January 2013 my roommate stole & sold all of my things. The only thing she left behind were coat hangers and furniture. My jewelry, clothes, makeup, hair products, etc were all stolen. I later found out she was a hardcore alcohol & drug addict and made $3k off my stuff at a few different pawn shops. I was able to retrieve about 20% of my stuff back. Plus, when she got arrested, her car was left in my driveway so I was able to sell that for $2500, so I essentially didn't luck out entirely but it did not replace the sentimental items && that's what hurts the most.

However if this did not happen to me, I would choose my make up collection because more than half of it is drug store make up so it would not be too expensive to replace.

8. What meal could you eat everyday for the rest of your life?

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? lol jk I can live off of any type of meat and pasta.

9. If you had to choose one pair of shoes to wear with every outfit forever what shoes would you choose?

This is very tough as where I live, the seasons are so dramatically different. So for Winter, I would choose my black knee high leather boots. They literally match every single Winter outfit I wear.

For Summer I would choose my wedges as they match every single outfit I wear. I am sure a lot of girls would choose flats but wedges feel like flats to me. I have always been comfortable wearing high heels for hours on end.

I like to say 'my feet were made for heels" ;-)

10. If you could trade places with one person for a day, who would it be?

This is a tough one. I think celebrity-wise, I would like to trade places with Demi Lovato. If I could sing like her, be able to judge/give my opinion on the X Factor, and be looked at as such a strong role model-- i would be so self-fullfilled and in pure bliss. Demi Lovato is a big advocate for feeling that responsibility to turn her life around and set a good example for those who want to be like her.

11. If you could suddenly turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do?
I would get revenge on my few enemies, I would pull pranks ALL day, I would stalk some celebrities, and i would go to the movies and watch movies for free ;) I would gather as much money as possible--probably rob a bank LOL

My nominees :)
9. Faye
11.Another Beautiful Thing

My Questions:
1. What is the best and worst thing about blogging/having a blog?
2. what is your most favorite blog post you have ever written?
3. how did you pick you blog name?
4. what is your most prized posession?
5. what is your favorite outfit you have?
6. what fashion trend can you not stand?
7. what are three things you cannot live without?
8. what is your dream job?
9. what is one of your best talents?
10. if you won a million dollars, what would you spend it on?
11. what do you think about the blogging community, your favorite and least favorite things about it?

Thank you all so much for reading and taking the time out of your lives to check my blog out. I sincerely put so much effort and time into making posts as enjoyable for you to read as they are for me to write. I appreciate each and every one of you on more levels than you know

Friday, March 13, 2015


don't mind me.

I just don't see how people don't get that everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you'll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create.

Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved.

i want to achieve perfection and try to avoid bad things; but there’s a devil in everyone. i can't please anyone, nor do i try anymore. I worry more for what others do; more than i do for myself. It upsets me that "trust" does not exist; the word was merely created and wanted fantasy. i believe the what ever sick mind gave birth to that word said "fuck reality, every one lies", i can't blame the person; trust- the word is just plain half ignorance applied to the concept that nobody can use it correctly; often abused. i can't do anything when my back is turned, that's why people prey when it is turned. i am afraid of myself and every human being that has the power in their hands to deceive me, and what many don't know is it corrupts my mind, and way of thinking, that's where i start to dig, i dig myself a hole, a hole that i don't plan on ever getting out of. There is where i will make tunnels that will lead me away from the misleading society.

But seriously, I don’t get the option of picking or choosing when ill excite you, bore you or piss you off. I’m a chick too wrapped up in her own business to notice your existence, I got that attitude where if I don’t mean shit to you, then you don’t mean shit to me, its not being bitchy -- its being wise, don't get it twisted.

Let's face it, people spend to much wasted time. These times come with trying to portray good relationships, to me-- the relationships worth fighting for involve those i care most about.

Reason being is I have just been so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long have been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just because no one wants to hear about my misery. I get it; they have their own, and their own is too overwhelming to allow them to listen to or care about mine. I am not offended, because I understand. No one wants to hear "woe is me" or "i am the wounded spouse/child." Do you really want their pity? It is even funnier when they go this route, then go back with the dude. Jokes on you, you IDIOT!

Lesson to learn: Pretty faces can be monsters in masks. I can either be the cancer or the light of your life.

you decide <3

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

my style xx

my style is very versatile.

 i always want my waist, collar bone, and hips to be accentuated; whether by a waist belt, a hips chain,  etc. i have an amazing wardrobe, but am very stingy with it as i do not like going to wear a specific outfit and it not being there! I also more often than not am rocking a deigo t and ripped/distressed jeans, jean shorts, or athletic shorts, but on special occasions-- oh i go allllll out ;)

my closet is pretty much my sanctuary. i have always had a large walk-in closet, and a walk in closet is #3 on my must-haves when apartment hunting. I just love decorating it the way i want, and stepping back and just feeling so proud of my wardrobe. =D

i am currently writing a post on items i think every girl should have in their closet from clothes to shoes to purses to accessories--- all of it. that of course is taking me f.o.r.e.v.e.r so until then i wanted to create this mini post of the style i am transforming into. =0]

These two outfits above are pretty much my style to the T.

Outfit #1 :: i'm usually in jeans when not at work, a light under shirt with a gorgeous sweater like wrap. the one in the picture is TO. DIE. FOR. light jewelry, there is too much going on in the chest area with the bow-tie for a long necklace like i usually wear therefore, a shorter, 12inch, necklace would be more fit. mix in a pair of flats, or flipflops. && you got a perfect outfit for a casual day out w/ the girls or fam.

Outfit # 2: ideal for work. always in dress pants, usually black. a deep red makes me look really professional, yet fun. all the way down to the heels-- i have a pair identical to those. the only thing i wouldn't normally rock is the purse. it's a little too small for me. now for just one night out, then by all means yes. but i carry my life in my purse, and as few beg to differ, i have a pretty big and busy life haha ;D

When it comes to make up, i usually am always on the go so i keep it light. I do all my crazy experimenting when i am going to be at a very special event, or where i will be photographed alot. therefore, just light cover-up mascara and a lipgloss will suffice.

Now ever since I got this job back in February, I've been kind of transforming my look into something more professional, and a bit more calm. I have done this because when attending all of these various meetings & gatherings, I am always the loudest girl in the room. && i don't mean my voice-- i mean my outfits! i wear such bold & loud colors, that I really have been keeping it calm & neutral lately. here are two outfits i put together on that really scream the new me.

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i know what most of you are probably thinking-- pearls!! what the?! lol but yes, my boyfriend's grandmother passed away a few years ago & i've really been trying to put her jewelry to good use--- funny how now 3 years later I do so but hey, better late than never right ?? ;]

my favorite colors to wear are black, white, and red, and my latest favorite clothing color is yellow! i just did my annual lightening of my hair && have been tanning so yellow looks really good on my tan skin. i've been buying alot more color lately.

Kohls has some really cute color tops. I bought the same shirt in four different colors the other day, and a pair of white jeans. I cannot express how stinkin cute i look in each color, i cant decide which one to pick ever! lol Due to my job clothes, lately, i've really been tuning into grays, browns/tans, and off-whites almost beiges. So with a mix of those two, come my latest trends i've been rockin' .....

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bold colors + calm & tranquility= rica marie <3

Sunday, March 01, 2015

love -- a figment of our imagination

when it comes to men and women ...
Who are more dominant? Who should be more aggressive? Who do you think makes the first move.. is it the woman who shows interest that the male reacts to? or is it the male who approaches the woman where she then reacts back?

sadly, men have egos that bruise. They go to great lengths to avoid being humiliated, embarrassed, diminished, ridiculed, or told the truth. And they're especially averse to brawling with irate husbands and boyfriends. So they approach with caution or not at all. Also, it's a scientific fact that men are attracted to women by criteria far more complex and enduring than mere pulchritude. They really are honest --- well, a\\ome of them.

It's a little like fishing, isn't it? Men make the choice in that they are ever trolling. And women decide, based on how much they are attracted to the fisherman, whether to take the bait. Or is it the women who do the trolling?

Being "in love" is usually a euphoric feeling, usually towards a particular individual. More often than not, though, someone who is "in love" is really "in love with being in love." This type of feeling is usually short-lived, as jealousy or doubt can easily kill the feeling.

Loving someone, on the other hand, means wishing the best for them no matter what. It involves a commitment that goes beyond feelings. You can love someone so much that you let them go after others, if you feel that's what's best for them.

Does true love really exist? You know, the kismet kind. The kind that envelopes two spirits before they've even met; the kind Shakespeare must have been writing about in Romeo and Juliet; the kind that makes you give up everything familiar, moral, safe, to walk in the direction of destiny.

love has three phases: the infatuation stage, the bonding stage and the familiar stage. it helps to consider all three phases when trying to figure out whether or not it's the real thing.

But, if it's true love, does it warrant dissecting and breaking down into stages? Do you have to consider anything at all; or, is it just "so"?

nine ways to tell if the love you have for your partner is the real thing:

1. You feel good.
2. You look forward to spending time with your partner, without sex on the mind.
3. You respect your partner, and his or her feelings.
4. You're interested in what your partner thinks, and want to know what at all times.
5. You accept your partner's quirks and flaws, some might even be cute.
6. You're able to work through your problems, and have great communication.
7. You feel safe. (You're not afraid of losing your partner.) Stability is a constant
8. You can't explain why you're together.. but also couldn't explain why you'd leave eachother
9. You don't compare your partner to others, or previous exes in your past.

Think about those ^