Monday, June 16, 2014

No, You DO NOT Fuck With Me


 WARNING: THIS IS A VERY LONG ONE -- I NEED TO VENT --


Because if you have nothing better to do than stalk MINE, poke and prod at every little detail and then write about it, you have a sad, sorry existence.
Lately, certain people [or shall I say ‘person’, because every single post is exactly the same] has taken it upon themselves to dissect every single thing I say and try to use it to belittle me. Honestly, all this does is make me laugh and shake my head. Especially because it’s done ‘anonymously’. These people [or again, person] is obviously aware of my myspace and facebook. And yet uses a means in which you are anonymous to attempt to ‘talk shit’. Which doesn’t work, by the way.

I don’t understand people who stalk you on every website, if they are only hating on you. What’s the point?! And what the hell makes you so bitter?! I have never met you but obviously I have made a pretty large impact on your life if you take so much time out of it to brush up on mine. The funny thing is, I don’t know, nor do I care who you are. You, on the other hand, revolve your online life around me. Who is the clear winner there??

It’s just funny when said person tries to say things like I represent all ‘typical Chicago girls’ by being slutty, going to clubs, drinking and getting drunk, hooking up with guys….. I mean really?! If you’re so adamant on stalking my life, then you obviously know none of these things are even close to true. So the fact that you pull that kind of shit out of your ass just for attention is astounding.

First, I haven’t even stepped foot into a club or anything even similar in my life-- the only club i have ever been to is Club Soda when I was 14! They are crowded, annoying, filled with smoke and obnoxiously drunk people who do nothing but boast about or act as if they have some sort of enviable ‘status’ and I want no part of it. If I go out, it’s to a hole in the wall sushi bar or my favorite karaoke spot. Not some stupid, played out downtown club. It’s not my scene.

Secondly, I don’t get drunk. Mainly because it’s way too expensive for me to attempt it. I have an extremely high alcohol tolerance and I have no interest in meeting it. On the occasion I am with good friends and there is champagne or we sake bomb or have some margaritas, then I will have a few. But it’s very rare that you will find me ‘drunk’.
Third, I never, absolutely NEVER hook up with guys. Even when I didn’t have my man, I am NOT about some little douche bag fucker who thinks he’s the shit trying to hook up with girls. I never even let guys TALK to me let alone think they are making any kind of physical contact near me. Guys make me sick and I am EXTREMELY picky about who I let into my life. I do not ‘hook up’. If I let a guy get close to me, he is there for a while. Period.

Fourth, if you even LOOK at my pictures, everything I do is something like going to a museum, the zoo, or at a friends house. So I mean really, this ‘slutty, trashy club girl’ shit is just ridiculous. Why don’t you photograph me at these places then we’ll talk.

So if you have something to say, then grow some fucking balls and say it to ME. What the hell are you so scared of?! You obviously don’t know me, so why do you care about me knowing who you are? You apparently like to watch my every move, so, you live a sad life, but at least have the nerve to NOT do it anonymously like a scared little PUSSY. It’s so pathetic.

It’s especially funny that anyone like this thinks they affect my life in any way, or think it makes me feel bad about myself at ALL. It actually makes me feel incredibly good about myself, because I know my life isn’t as unfulfilled as yours. I don’t fill my life with jealousy and hate toward someone I know nothing about and then cyber-stalk them and try my best to garner their attention. If I have something not so nice to say about someone, it’s because I’ve just read about them saying or doing something stupid and I have an opinion. If I want to say Heidi Montag is a fucking fool for getting DDD tits and that much work done on her face then I will. But I sure don’t stalk her life and try to anonymously say some stupid bullshit to her. I have better things to do with my time.


And as far as my attitude goes, once again… YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. What are you even basing this ‘fake’ accusation on?! So ridiculous. I don’t try to ever be something I’m not. I will be the first to admit I am a klutz, random, ridiculous, witty, and sometimes bitchy human being. But anyone will tell you, I am very in tune with my conscience, and get sick at even the thought of people not recycling. I think of others before I think of myself. When it comes to Christmas, I NEVER disappoint because I pay attention all year long and I pick up on things and I store them in my memory. So people are genuinely surprised and happy with what I give them, which usually ends up being a lot. I spoil the people around me because it makes me happy to give. I think of strangers when I’m in the passengers seat. I like people to be courteous and treat to be treated. If I don’t finish a meal at a restaurant, I have it bagged up to give to a homeless person I may see on the way home. I don’t like to see food go to waste when there is someone on the street who will really appreciate it.

Yes I may be snappy or sarcastic or mouthy or bitchy sometimes, but the people who really DO pay attention to the things I say and read about me and know about me, know that I am this way and appreciate me for being REAL. I don’t give a shit who you are. If you say something stupid, I am going to let you know. It’s not my fault that half the internets population can’t form a grammatically stable sentence. Or use forms of internet ghetto slang that hurts my eyes and my brain when attempting to read it. Or ask really stupid questions or make really perverted comments or attempt to tell ME something about myself when they know nothing about me. It’s just plain ignorant. And I don’t put up with it. If I were “fake” I would slap a smile on my face and act like it’s okay to speak to me so ignorantly. Let that one swim around inside your empty head for a few minutes.


Stop sitting back and watching. Get up and DO. I can’t understand how people can live life so bitterly. It’s got to be so miserable. Maybe you weren’t held enough as a child. But don’t take out your childhood neglect on me. I am not your therapist.

If you have a solid, legit reason to hate on me, then by all means let me know because I’d love to hear it. But because I know I am a phenomenal human being, the only conclusion that I can come to is that you wish you had my life. Which is pretty damn pathetic, because I don’t do anything with mine that couldn’t be done by somebody else with a little ambition.

Get up and look in the mirror and evaluate yourself. Find out the reason you feel the need to hate on others because chances are, that’s where you’ll find it. It really makes no difference to me. I welcome the ignorance because it brings humanity into my life. And I always enjoy a good laugh. But just please don’t expect that what you say bothers, hurts or gets a rise out of me in any negative way. It doesn’t. And this blog is just to let you know how uneducated you are. Don’t try to dissect a life you know nothing about. You won’t find anything, because it’s not YOUR life. This isn’t the Truman Show. You’re not watching my every move 24 hours a day. And as you can clearly see by this blog, you’ve been quite horribly mistaken.


Now kindly shut the fuck up, or grow some balls and talk to me yourself. But this anonymous bullshit is just pathetic. Quit hiding. You know you just look like an idiot. Especially because its hardly worth an eye roll when I see such pitiful attempts at bashing. It just doesn’t work with me. It doesn’t affect me. You are definitely barking up the wrong tree.

Get a life. Stop obsessing over mine.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

trust -- learned or innate behavior?

One of the main topics I write about is trust. i am not sure why, but it is as if i can write and write and write nonstop about it.  trust is a really hard thing. it's hard to win but super easy to lose. you can spend years building it up, and it's amazing how it can shatter in seconds.. when you put your trust in someone it means that you will expect them to do what they say they will do, which is usually something that you should be doing for yourself but rely on them enough to do for you.. Trusting in someone usually means that there is something they have that you believe you need, or something you have that you believe they can take away to cause you harm. You may not agree, but i have thought long and hard about this & this is def the conclusion i have come to and won't budge onto any other..

Truth is much trickier than we think it is, isn't it?

My freshmen year I already learned what two-faced and back stabbing meant. you couldn't find a person you could trust in sight. If you had a real friend that you could trust, it didn't last long, or at least the trust didn't. It was either some one said something, or boyfriends/girlfriends got in the way. it  could be that you were completely innocent but it wouldn't matter as long as the drama was made. a year long relationship could be ruined by someone you didn't even know as long as they swore to it. every time, its your fault. don't get me wrong sometimes your not innocent but I'm hoping you will have the nerve to admit when your wrong, i know i do... but your words well be scrabbled and screwed then they make a scene and when you don't stir back your "scared."

honesty is the backbone of healthy relationships. i know sometimes its hard to be honest, but when you are, people know that they can trust you and when people trust you... you will be able to go far.  emotions are powerful.  we usually don’t realize how much they affect our lives and the lives of those around us, but they lie behind every thing we say or do even though most of the time we are not aware of them.

remember the first time you fell in love? What were your emotions doing? Did you let things bother you or did you let thing slide? now think of your most heart wrenching break up. What were your emotions doing? Did you let things bother you or did you let things slide? our emotions affect how we see, hear or even do things, most of the time it’s immediately, however sometimes it affects how we see things the next day or a week from the event. usually we don’t even realize the power they have had on us.

this is why i put a lot of effort into controlling my anger the most. i sometimes say a lot of things i don't mean to and this makes me feel soo horrible at the end of the day. my boyfriend and i used to have some pretty bad fights, and we would say hurtful things quite often. we have since worked on that path of communication and he hasn't said something to hurt me in months, and we are still going strong. no matter how hard the situation or fight, it can alwaysss be worked out-- communication is key and it is very essential in making a path of understanding and a clearer future.

that's all i am going to right on that tonight. i lost a friend tonight over pathetic bullshit -- happened before but as you can see we didn't use our communication skills to the best of our ability and now we are in the exact same boat -- but you live and learn, right?

out with the old in with the new.

xox rica

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