Wednesday, August 08, 2012

the most important element.

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i've been a total shut-in lately. which some people may say that i need that, lol but i do need some human interaction every now and then to feel normal.. even if it’s by phone and internet.  i haven't been doing much of that lately, either.. which means when I do go out, I feel kind of out-of-sorts. like i'm visiting a foreign land instead of just hanging out with friends/people I know..

so that's when i decided to go out yesterday. i went out with my boyfriend's boys and hung out with their girlfriends, there were two of them and me. least to say, i had a very nice night full of laughs and it became kind of bittersweet because i have wanted so long to be around friends who were couples. they prove to be better friends than former friends of mine.

so point is, my boyfriend and i decided to take a walk on the river on the way home  when i overheard a distraught women telling a friend about a recent fight with her boyfriend. she went on to tell her friend a long list of horrible things the guy had said to her. And they were pretty awful. Hateful, mean things that were intended to hurt. but something she said stuck with me... "his words were like fists." i instantly felt her pain. emotional abuse can be so much worse than physical some times. you'd think it would be the opposite but with physical pain, the wounds heal. emotional pain leaves scars that can be so unbearable you wouldn't know what to do to feel better again. i can’t imagine patching things up after a fight like that... and i have been in some pretty awful fights lol

Which got me to thinking of the most painful thing a man has ever said to me...i can't even pinpoint it to one thing but i thought about it all last night. And, in the end, and i realized that the most hurtful thing a man can ever say without truly meaning it is "iloveyou." Cus for me, the worst thing a man can do or say is to make me feel wanted and needed and i put my trust and all into him for him to catch me when i fall but really he would have just let me fall on my ass.

So today i would like to address one of the most important elements that must exist in any healthy relationship. this is not something you can buy, borrow or steal because this basic necessity can only be earned. what is this thing that bonds couples together and helps to create a healthy relationship between two committed people? come on.. it's not that hard people ;)

one word--it's trust!

By definition, trust is “a firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity and reliability of another person.” We all are familiar with the warmth and safety trust can provide; however, we also know the intense emotional pain and agony of having experienced trust broken. since trust is a basic necessity in a healthy relationship, I find it rather curious that the word “us” sits comfortably in the midst of the word trust. the truth is that there can be no us if there is no trust, because trust is one of the critical bonds that connect and endear two people to one another. so with this as our foundation today, i'd like you to think about two questions today regarding trust:

Who do you trust the most? And are YOU trustworthy?

i trust you will find these two questions a bit challenging, insightful and enlightening. are you trustworthy in one sense but not in another ?? are you more bound to be trusted in or doing the trusting in another?? there are so many different aspects of this word. so i want you to really think about them, and afterwards really think about that person and make sure they know just how much they mean to you.. because afterall we are never promised tomorrow and you may never get another chance to do so.

xox rica