Tuesday, June 11, 2013

rewindddddd....

hey lovers & friends,

i want to tell you about a messed up thing that happened to me back in the beginning of 2013, I started a blog. it was just a fun idea at first but then I slowly and steadily realized it kept me sane. through the happy times and the sad, I was able to be open and honest for the first time and it felt good. good in a way that some people only feel when they are drunk or stoned. Good like you are about to have amazing sex with a person you love. Just freaking good, okay!? I do feel blessed to be able to reach this incredible high by merely putting words together and I am confident that my friends and family understand this. what they don’t get about me is the fact that I live a double life. I am a smart, shy, modest person but there is a side of me that is extremely… extreme. i will not say, but it is not detrimental to my health, and it's not illegal. It is just something that makes me feel like I am flying and I don’t think that is so bad. this is the part where some people disagree.

Just recently, i learned that an e-mail was sent to both of my parent’s personal e-mail addresses which contained my site address. And by recently, I mean a couple of weeks ago. The person who wrote this said that my life was spiraling out of control and that I was headed down the wrong path. if you recall anything about my previous posts, you would understand that what I was writing was not for the eyes of my parents. atleast not yet. i wrote about my problems and thoughts going on in my head, that YES my parents were the root of. I was planning on publishing my work and approaching them with a book, which I consider tangible evidence that I am not heading down the wrong path. That I have been in control the whole time and I have something to show for it.

when does life ever go according to plan?

this person out there felt the need to take this matter into their own hands, something I consider selfish and vindictive. They obviously wanted to see me fall. Yes, asshole, I did fall and I felt terrible for days. You won round one. What is particularly maddening about the situation is the fact that this person is still a mystery. my parents refuse to send me the e-mail because they made a “promise” to the person that they wouldn’t. So in an effort to shield myself from the pain of betrayal, I abandoned this blog and started a new blog. A blog that hardly anyone knew about in which I wrote three posts. I talked about who I suspected of such treachery and the "harm" i was supposedly the person may have been referring to. I basically just vented. It took me a week to realize that I was being a complete coward and with that realization came the rebirth of this blog.

In conclusion, here is my FUCK YOU to the person that went behind my back.

Here is my welcoming to the site for my parents.

&& most importantly, here is round two.

xox rica

1 comment:

  1. I admire your str stength, stay strong!

    ReplyDelete

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