Tuesday, March 12, 2013

my getaway xx

 hello beauty queens!

At the moment, life is very good. I have come to terms with a lot of people, and a lot of things that I was stressin' very hard about. I have realized there are just some things that are beyond my control, and I can not and should not try to please every one.

I just got back from a mini-vacation. I didn't go away physically, but mentally. I promise I am not a psycho, but what I did was some sight-seeing, and shopped my hot little ass off. Now that is what I call a good time.

In amongst all the fun, the real reason for me going there was because I have had to make certain decisions that were life-altering. Often times, I get in these moods when I am done with everyone and everything and just get into this "i just don't give a fuck" mood. I just want to have a normal life.. with normal problems..the problems a typical girl my age should be having. I would love to tell someone about what is going on in my life but instead, I have to keep secrets and lie to people I care about. This has become incredibly exhausting and depressing over the months. Maybe if I didn’t distance myself from all my friends, I wouldn’t be going on a vacation mentally.. but physically with all my friends.

In all actuality, it was the best vacation I have had in a while. I love not talking to anyone. I love doing what I want when I want to do it. I love people watching. Silence is golden. And quite frankly, I do not give a shit what you do or what you'd like to order, fat ass.

The job interview went well. For some reason, I have always been good at making stuff up off the top of my head. Stuff that makes me look good, at least. Come to think of it, I have always gotten every job I have interviewed for so I am pretty confident in my skills. One thing that was totally weird was to see myself in real work clothes again. Black slacks. Button up blouse. Sweater. I hardly recognized the girl in the mirror. I felt sexy. But then I realized.. why am I always the one to wear things like this? In order to counteract this feeling of alienation with my own body, I went to Lover's Lane that I passed on the way back from the interview site and I tried on some clothing I did feel comfortable in. See below.


(( Asymmetrical Plunge Gown by Body Zone $44.99 )) I tried this one on in black and absolutely loved the fit and the style. I love sexy clothes :) I also bought a purple garter so I wouldn’t look like a vampire (black hair, black dress, black shoes, black soul…). After this fun little shopping trip, I then went wild with my GPS and started finding similar stores in the area. I had no intention of doing this while I was there, but I found myself punching in the addresses anyways and what I found was a total gold mine. Slowly and steadily, the thought of my awesome interview faded from memory and was taken over by the reality of how much fun I was having and how hot i felt in these clothes.


In all actuality, I have no idea what life is going to throw my way. I’ve had my hurdles and my brick walls, but I have also had many doors of opportunity open right when I need them. I am so thankful I will have a degree to fall back on as well as the body and the mind to be successful in the world. It’s kind of rare, really. I have worried about dealing with all the responsibilities I thought I had when really, they ain't shit compared to others. I don’t have to worry about 10 bills each month, raising or paying for a child, or keeping myself fed.. I don’t have to wake up early, sit through boring meetings, or waste away at a desk all day long like before.

I am truly free and it feels amazing.

So then I decided to go on a physical vacation. I think vacations always help shift perceptions away from the drone of our everyday existence. Exploring other cities and other cultures is the most amazing awaken er. A ‘normal’ life, full or routine and mundane regularity, but still filled with insignificant detractors. I’d rather be creative and not buy in to corporate conformity. To live life like I am now is the utmost release and energizer. I have your strength and intelligence to fall back on beyond the piece of paper my degree will be printed on. Therefore, I can choose to be academic but that isn’t for everyone.

xox Rica

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