Monday, August 13, 2012

jealousy is the root of all evil

Jealousy can make people truly evil. I write about the insane antics of jealous friends all the time and it only makes them look weak in the end. I have no sympathy for such a tragic character flaw. I do have sympathy, however, for my friend that I went to visit out of town, and is now visiting me from out of town. Let’s call her Erica.

Erica and I met in high school and I was immediately drawn to her outgoing, fun personality. We made our otherwise boring classes go by fast with lots of inside jokes and funny stories. I truly fell in love with everything about her. One thing that was apparent from the very beginning was that Erica was extremely self conscious about her weight. She always made awkward comments about how fat she was and that no man would ever love her. Of course I disagreed and honestly meant it, but no person could ever convince her that she was beautiful. I tried and I tried but I always ended up failing.

Last night, we got dressed up in really hot outfits and headed to the river walk for a little night out on the town. After a couple of strong mixed drinks at the house, of course, thankfully my boyfriend was there to drive us, because the moment we stepped out my door, the world began to spin and there was nothing the two of us didn’t find hilarious. (( Note: my boyfriend and i were in a huge fight at the time, normally i would never go out like this without him, but i was so mad i just didnt care )) We danced and we sang and we even found a stage to dance on all in a matter of 45 minutes. It was shaping up to be a perfect night out with a good friend… until a really hot guy hit on me.

We were taking a breather from all the fun when he approached me from out of no where and began talking to me. I typically shrug guys off that hit on me because I am so used to bitching them out from being in a relationship for ..uh my entire life. lol But because of the fighting with my "boyfriend", i was beginning to think of how many nice guys i've turned down and to see if maybe i should be more open to finding some one  else.. because i did afterall commit fully to the FIRST guy to show interest in me. i've never felt the single feeling, or anything because i've been fully committed and loyal to my boyfriend since i was 14 years old. Any way..that's a post for another time. 😌

there was an instant connection and no sooner than I could blink, he pulled me out on the dance floor and the two of us began breaking it down Dirty Dancing style.  ((if any of you watched the movie you would know this dancing basically salsa and step by step dancing, barely any touching involved but whose judging?)) I was in absolute heaven. He smelled good, he was in great physical shape, and he knew how to move… a deadly combination if you are looking to get my attention. I almost felt inferior because it had been so long that I danced with a MALE. I mean, it's only natural and fun to rub my ass into my best friend's body without her thinking twice about it. lol I mean hell, I could strip naked in front of my bestie and she could still carry on a conversation with me like I were fully clothed... lol (( my old roommate,  Sarah,  used to have our 'talks' when one of us were showering 😁 mind you the shower doors were clear glass but thats the only time we found time to talk to each other during our busy lives at the time haha))


I only stayed with him for few minutes or so because i started feeling guilty because i was after all in a relationship.. i know i shouldn't have but i just figured there has to be another way.. i almost felt like i was cheating. I also didn’t want to leave Erica by herself so when I returned to the table, I was dying to know if she caught a glimpse of he and I with each other. After being given what was quite possibly the dirtiest look on earth, she turned her head away from me and continued watching the dance floor.

OK then.

A few minutes later, the hot guy returned and after acknowledging me with a hug, he introduced himself to her and the two of them began chatting. I thought maybe i can turn into playing cupid, and the two of them can get to know each other better. He left again and she told me that she told him she would leave the two of us alone so we could go have sex somewhere.

WHAT!

.... Flashback time

Crazy bitch Michelle, and her delusional idea of me trying to fuck her boyfriend when she knows i'm taken && not into black men either way.... Crazy bitch Riley and the threats she posted on my locker at work cus i made more money than her. Crazy bitch Nina (PERIOD) My sweet friend Erica had fallen into the crazy bitch category and I completely and totally lost it. I stormed out of the bar and when she followed me, I turned around and I let her have it. Yes people, I was the girl screaming at another girl outside of a bar. Real typical. Basically if the situation was different and the guy hit on her, I would be expected to take pictures of them dancing, ask every detail about him, and sit around while they made out for an hour. When the guy talks to me, I get nothing but dirty looks and snide comments. I said all of this but made it as mean as possible, making sure to throw in some “how dare you’s” and some “I can’t believe you’s”. My angry, drunk ass then stormed down the street, tripping over side walk cracks, swinging my purse dramatically, trying to answer a text. I was a fucking hurricane.

Erica lingered behind and when I got to the car with -him- waiting for me, I held the door for her but continued my walk of rage all the way to my house 20mins away. It was here where the storms calmed and I passed out in exactly what I was wearing in a position that suggested I may have actually screwed the hot guy.😂 The next morning was awkward and all that was mentioned about the previous night was an “I’m sorry” from her. I never accepted it but I didn’t act pissy the entire next day either. There was really no point.

So here I sit, writing this absurdly long blog post about a rather absurd evening, and all I can hear is the soft breathing of my friend. Erica. She is sleeping on my bed and every time some idiot blasts his horn or slams on his brakes, she awakens with the intensity of an on-call firefighter. Country girls… ha! I glance over every time she shuffles and I can’t help but feel overwhelming guilt for the reaction I had last night. She didn’t deserve that rage. Susan did. So did Riley and Nina. But I held it all in and took it out on a loved one who unintentionally tapped into her own inner demons at the very same time I did. God damn booze.

But if we weren’t drunk, would we have just fantasized about strangling each other? Was it even necessary to show our true emotions? Or is this… how crazy bitches are born?


xox rica

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